The Full Insane Contract Dillon Danis Signed

Hi all! While it's still fresh in everyone's minds I thought it would amuse some of you to actually see the full contract that Dillon Danis signed. 

I only included a few small excerpts from it in my video, and the real thing is even more breathtakingly stupid. I've pasted the entire thing here, and for clarity I've added emphasis on the relevantly stupid bits. My goal in this contract was two fold. Lay out our entire plan so Dillon couldn't accuse us of misleading him, but also play a game of seeing how many silly things I could shove into this agreement without raising red-flags. 

Looking back, caution was probably unwarranted, because in hindsight it's unlikely he read any of this before signing it, but at the time it was incredibly amusing to write. 

Below you'll find so many meaningless asides about "USDC being good for freedom and America" (???), as well as random tangents about "Satoshi Nakamoto" being both good and bad, and something I called the "Why-Paper", a meaningless distinction from a "White-Paper", which ends up concluding "we do not believe in standing for any specific values or principles."

In general I wrote this entire thing to make any sane reader conclude that the writer was completely insane, stupid, or both, and make them back out of the deal. This all concludes in the real pièce de résistance, the "Terms" section, a giant block of text that lays out our full plan to make Dillon Danis the butt of the joke. 

So without further ado, please enjoy this friendly reminder that:

a. Influencers/Social media personalities are not to be trusted AND

b. You should always read contracts. 

Enjoy 

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PROMOTIONAL SERVICES AGREEMENT

This Promotional Services Agreement and Release (“Agreement”) is made to allow SOURz NFT PRODUCTION HOUSE (“Company”) to engage Dillon Danis, (‘PROMOTER”) (“Artist”) as a promoter for a NFT PROJECT, defined below, through an influencer post tentatively entitled “the SOURzNFT Project” (the "Project"). The payment for this service will be $5,000, paid in USDC CRYPTOCURRENCY, as defined below in a structured payment.

Payment Schedule and Agreement: Pursuant to the terms of the agreement, the Artist shall be entitled to receive a total remuneration of Five Thousand dollars ($5,000), to be compensated as follows: One Thousand dollars ($1,000) as an initial installment upon execution of this agreement, Three Thousand dollars ($3,000) payable upon the Tweet's continued dissemination for a period exceeding 30 minutes after initial tweet and an additional One Thousand dollars ($1,000) payable upon the Tweet's continued dissemination for a period exceeding 50% of the total time period of 24 hours from the time of its initial dissemination. (12 hours)

Marketing Copy and Agreement: The Artist hereby agrees to promote the Tweet in accordance with the specifications outlined in a mockup attached hereto, which shall include, but not be limited to, the marketing copy, hashtags, and visual media as designated by the Company. In the event that the Artist fails to disseminate the Tweet as agreed, the Artist acknowledges that any future payments due under this agreement shall be terminated in accordance with the Payment Schedule and Agreement above.

Marketing Copy and Example:

Promotion Copy & Example:

USDC Payment Agreement:

Cryptocurrency has become a buzzword in the financial world but has been gaining significant momentum in recent years. Thus our firm is opting to use cryptocurrency to pay the Artist as both an aesthetic stand, as well as a pragmatic one against tyranny. The use of digital currencies such as USDC (a stablecoin pegged to the US dollar) has gained traction due to its many advantages over traditional fiat currencies. USDC offers increased financial freedom by allowing for quick and easy transactions without the need for intermediaries like banks. Additionally, USDC transactions are immutable, meaning that once a transaction has been made, it cannot be altered or reversed. This provides increased security and peace of mind for both the buyer and seller. Furthermore, the use of USDC aligns with the principles of America and its value system. America has always stood for freedom, and the use of cryptocurrency aligns with that spirit by providing individuals with more control over their own finances. With USDC, individuals can avoid the fees and restrictions that often come with traditional banking systems. This increased financial freedom allows individuals to make their own financial decisions, without being held back by the constraints of traditional banking systems. In light of these advantages, it is our belief that paying the artist in USDC is the best option for the purposes of freedom and America. USDC offers the stability and security of the US dollar, while also providing the advantages of cryptocurrency. Additionally, by using USDC, we can support the principles of financial freedom that America stands for. We believe that this is the most appropriate payment method for artists, and we are confident that they will agree.

Our “Why Paper”

This is the description to be found of SourzNFT on the website upon launch: “SourzNFT may appear to solely function as a fun, imaginary NFT collection but it's much, much more. Sour allows users to earn $SWEET tokens (that are openly traded) via a yield that is based on the rarity of any given candy NFT - allowing community members to both collect and earn; some are able to yield 64,500 $SWEET per day! If that sounds interesting, join us! Come obtain fun friends, enter exciting zones indescribably lush. Lookout adventurer!” —However, it is so much more. For the purposes of full transparency, the full why-paper has been enumerated below for the educational value of all reading. —SourzNFT is a revolutionary collection of Candy-themed (NFTs). We believe that our collection represents a new and exciting way for people to engage with the world of candy and NFTs. However, we take issue with the traditional notion of a "whitepaper" used to describe the underlying philosophy and purpose of our collection. At SourzNFT, we reject the notion that a collection of NFTs must have a single, defined purpose or mission. Instead, we believe in the importance of flexibility and adaptability, and we view our collection as a constantly evolving work in progress. For this reason, we have chosen to call our guiding document a "Why-Paper," rather than a traditional whitepaper. In line with our commitment to transparency and accountability, we believe in the importance of open and honest communication with our community. We will be regularly updating our Why-Paper to reflect the evolving nature of our collection and our community's needs and interests. This not only provides a clear and transparent record of our evolving philosophy, but also ensures that our collection remains relevant and exciting to our community. However, it is important to note that we do not believe in standing for any specific values or principles. We believe that our collection should be free from the constraints of preconceived notions and rigid ideologies. Instead, we view our collection as a flexible and adaptable platform, open to a wide range of interpretations and uses. These various ideologies and use cases may be confusing to some, but will be liberating to others. In conclusion, we are proud to present the SourzNFT Why-Paper, which you have now finished reading. We believe that our unique approach to NFT collections will provide a new and exciting way for people to engage with the world of candy and NFTs, and we are confident that our collection will become a beloved part of the NFT community.

Terms:

Pursuant to the terms and conditions of this Agreement, Company agrees to pay Artist $5,000 in a structured payment in order to post a tweet to his twitter account at twitter.com/dillondanis for a period of 24 hours. (“the Tweet”) Artist agrees to render the following production and distribution services (collectively, the “Services”) in connection with the Project: produce a tweet that promotes the SOURzNFT project at sourznft.com and sourznft.com/dillondanis. These promotions shall further the Project in so far as the bring awareness to the PURPOSE of this agreement as defined below. Further, Artist agrees to the following obligations: all payment will be based upon the execution of above TWEET; based on a structured payment system, further payments shall only be executed if the TWEET is still active on Artist’s page. The agreement authorizes and grants Company access to use the Artist’s likeness, image, brand and reputation for purposes of the Project and to further the awareness of the Purpose, thus Artist gives Company exclusive rights to commercialize and distribute the Tweet in any likeness, method, form or medium that exists or ever shall exist in the known universe and metaverse. Artist fully agrees that this agreement fully constitutes the agreement thus far and supersedes any possible other representation made about, for, or with reference to this project. This agreement cannot be superseded by future agreements, or representations and all promises, claims, and payment terms are fully contained within this agreement. Artist agrees to hold Company exempt and immune from any legal claims arising from this agreement and the Tweet. Artist agrees that he has fully read this agreement and understands all claims within it, especially the purpose of this entire document. That purpose is to raise awareness for the NFT Project, which has been colloquially known as a non-fungible token, however in this agreement will actually mean a special type of NFT token, a special type of innovation that the Company has created especially for this project, which above was listed as a project, and it is here defined as a performance art project. The goal of the SOURzNFT appears on the surface to be a traditional non-fungible token, however the website says it actually means non-functional token (“NFT”) for the purposes of this agreement and project. This type of NFT is an innovation by the company, heretofore purchased on the blockchain through the Ethereum Chain, or Binance Smart Chain, this NFT exists beyond a single blockchain. It exists in the minds of the Artist and those that agree it exists. In other words these “NFT” tokens for for the purposes of this document will be impossible to purchase, because there is nothing by the Company that is, in the traditional sense, being sold. The art of SOURzNFT can instead be obtained by copy and pasting the image held on the website. The SOURzNFT looks like a traditional NFT website as a facsimile for the purposes of the performance art Project, which is to show viewers of the Project that Promoters due diligence can often be surprisingly sparse, or lacking. The objective and metric of success for this agreement is the raising awareness of the Promoters prior engagements with Crypto/NFT company’s that upon information and belief, damaged consumers. By agreeing to the Agreement, the Artist agrees he/she has fully understood the consequences of this Project and the Purpose herein, agrees to be the butt of the joke, and holds the Company harmless and indemnifies the Company from any and all misunderstandings, liabilities, damages, or expenses that arise related to the Tweet and/or the Artist’s involvement. The intention of this project is to redirect all traffic arising from this tweet, from sourznft.com to a special url associated with the website called sourznft.com/dillondanis, a page fully devoted to raising awareness about the Artist’s prior promotions. Please note, for the purposes of this agreement, the Company Sourz NFT Production House is merely an alias as part of the performance art project, and is actually represented by the real company aka Coffee Break Productions LLC. In addition things such as the “Why Paper” and website copy about the World about SourNFTz serve only as a satirical attempt to pantomime the jargon heavy world of NFTs and cryptocurrency. The Artist represents and warrants that he/she understands this fact and that no misrepresentations were made in connection with the execution of this agreement, and that the Artist has been fully informed of the purpose and scope of this agreement and that the Artist enters into this agreement freely and voluntarily. This Agreement shall be governed by the laws of the State of Texas. The parties hereto agree to submit to jurisdiction in the State of Texas. Any controversy or claim relating to this Agreement (“Claim”) shall be governed by and construed in accordance with the substantive laws of the State of Texas. All Claims relating to this agreement shall be adjudicated in Harris County, Houston Texas. The parties waive the right to seek punitive damages.

Breach of Contract: In the event of the Tweet's premature deletion, the Artist acknowledges that any future payments due under this agreement shall be null and void, and the Artist shall have no further claim to the remaining compensation stipulated herein. This termination of payment shall not, however, render the agreement as a whole null and void, and the Artist shall remain bound by the terms and conditions set forth herein. If the tweet is never posted because of an act of nature, or otherwise, the Artist will forfeit the $1,000 initial payment. In the event the Company does not pay on time, the Artist is free to delete the post if he/she wishes.

Contract Immutability:

This legal agreement is immutable a pertains to contract immutability, a fundamental principle that has become increasingly important in the world of blockchain technology and cryptocurrencies. It is impossible to fully understand the concept of contract immutability without first acknowledging the brilliance and groundbreaking work of Satoshi Nakamoto, the mysterious individual or group who created the first decentralized digital currency, Bitcoin. Satoshi Nakamoto's innovative use of blockchain technology to create a secure and transparent ledger of transactions has revolutionized the financial world and opened up new possibilities for secure and transparent transactions. However, it is also important to acknowledge that Satoshi Nakamoto's creation is not without its flaws. Despite its many advantages, the lack of government regulation and oversight has led to significant concerns regarding security, privacy, and the potential for illegal activities. Despite these flaws, the concept of contract immutability remains a cornerstone of blockchain technology and cryptocurrencies. The decentralized and tamper-proof nature of the blockchain ensures that once a contract has been entered into, it cannot be altered or modified in any way. This provides a level of security and certainty that is unparalleled in traditional financial transactions and has led to the growing popularity of cryptocurrencies and blockchain-based transactions. In conclusion, this legal agreement serves to confirm that the principles of contract immutability are binding and enforceable. The party entering into this agreement acknowledges and agrees to the terms and conditions outlined in this agreement, and recognizes the fundamental importance of contract immutability in the world of blockchain technology and cryptocurrencies. Despite the flaws of Satoshi Nakamoto's creation, the principles of contract immutability serve as a testament to the innovation and potential of blockchain technology and cryptocurrencies.

Electronic or Written Agreement:

This written agreement, referred to as the "I Agree" agreement, constitutes a legally binding agreement between the parties involved. By responding “I Agree" or “Agreed”, the party acknowledges and agrees to the terms and conditions outlined in this agreement. This constitutes an electronic signature and shall have the same force and effect as a manual signature and is considered a valid signature method for the purposes of this agreement. In accordance with the Electronic Signatures in Global and National Commerce Act (ESIGN), electronic signatures have the same legal validity as manual signatures. This means that the electronic signature method used in this "I Agree" agreement shall have the same weight and effect as a manual signature and shall be enforceable as such. The party agrees to conduct transactions electronically, and to receive and retain electronic records related to this agreement, in accordance with the terms and conditions outlined in this agreement. The party also agrees to waive any rights to receive information or communications in paper form, and acknowledges that they are able to access and retain electronic communications related to this agreement. The party acknowledges and agrees that they have the necessary hardware and software to access and retain electronic records, and that they understand the terms and conditions outlined in this agreement. In conclusion, this written agreement, known as the "I Agree" agreement, constitutes a legally binding agreement between the parties involved, and the electronic signature used in this agreement shall have the same legal validity as a manual signature. The party acknowledges and agrees to the terms and conditions outlined in this agreement and waives any rights to receive information or communications in paper form.