Mansion of Madness! - Chapter 9

No sooner had they reached the top of the staircase than the doors of the cellar slammed shut with a thoom, making the candles flicker and the chandelier swing on its chain. Their flames glinted in the breastplates of the armor stands and in the darkwood of the furniture and off the marble skin of the statues, while on the banquet table the food steamed, tempting as a fairy’s feast. On the walls, great paintings loomed over them, showing twisted, overlapping flesh in deep pinks and ochres.

Erza took a step forward, her shoes striking the floorboards with a crack that resonated through the room and shattered what remained of the silence. She half-expected the statues and the suits of armor to turn to her and admonish her for interrupting their concentration. 

“Food,” said Gura, scurrying forward with her little green hands raised. “Food!” 

Erza had to grab her before she could go any farther. “Wait,” she said. “There’s no way it isn’t trapped!” 

Her transformation into a goblin seemed to have done something to Gura’s intelligence, because she continued to squirm and struggle. “No! No fair! Gura wanna eat! Gura wanna eat the yummy fooood!” Finally, Erza threw her over her shoulder and held here there by the buttocks, trying to ignore the intense temptation to slip her fingers between them and–Nnn~! 

Samus spilled forward, her gloopy new form leaving a faint trail of slime in her wake as she moved. Baka hopped behind her, cautiously peering over her shoulder as she went. “Wow,” she said. “Mahou’s banquet hall… complete with a banquet, nya! …I’m nyot seeing a door though…” 

Samus came to a stop with a sigh. “It’s another challenge,” she said. “We have to do something before it will reveal itself.” 

“Oh! Nyeah, that makes sense, nya.” Grinning, Baka placed her hands on her hips and looked around. Slowly, her expression drooped. “Like what though, nya?” 

“Part of the challenge is probably figuring it out,” said Erza, bitterly. She took a step forward herself, ignoring the goblin struggling on her shoulder. “Maybe there’s a hidden switch somewhere?” 

“Ooo, ooo, maybe it’s like Alice in Wonderland, and we have to drink a special drink that makes us super-small, and then we can sneak out through a mouse hole! Look for a drink that says ‘drink me!’” 

Erza examined the table. Even ignoring all the other problems with that idea, she couldn’t see any drink that stood out from the others. There were goblets and grails and endless glasses of wine, but nothing particularly distinct. 

“Maybe it’s more of a Last Crusade deal?” said Baka, tapping her chin in thought. 

With no clear path to take, the three of them fanned out to search for clues, but no matter how hard they looked, the room refused to present any. It was like they’d arrived too earlier, and things hadn’t had time to be set up yet. 

Finally, having fully circled the table and found nothing more noticeable than the single chair at the end, Erza returned to the start, where Samus had picked out a particular statue of a woman with wings to focus on. Posed naked, the young woman in question looked as if she’d been caught mid-run, frozen looking back with a terrified expression. Knowing what else she knew about the Mansion, Erza didn’t want to ponder the implications. 

With a sigh, Samus gave up and pulled away. “I cannot find anything,” she said, folding her arms (in her new form, this had the effect of merging them with each other and her breasts). 

“Me nyeither!” cried Baka. “There are nyo mouse holes or nyothing! Nyow what do we do?” 

“We can’t retreat,” said Erza, recalling the boom of the cellar door as it slammed shut, “so if we can’t find anything here, our only option is to wait for something to…” Her eyes slid to the statue of the winged girl. Had she always been so…? “...happen. MOVE!” 

Samus reacted instantly, leaping straight to her right. Her gooey new body made this a slightly stickier movement than it should have been, her own slime gluing her to the floor like gum, but it sufficed: the winged statue sailed past her, missing her by an inch. As the three of them darted back, hearts pounding in their chests, the statue rose and turned with deceptive speed, flowing steadily from one pose to another.

As its stony eyes settled on her own, Erza readied herself to dodge. She was so focused, she barely noticed the second statue approaching from her right: another naked young woman, this time with a short ponytail and a hair clip, it threw itself at her, aiming a stony knife at her chest. She jumped out of its path just in time, but not quickly enough to prevent the knife from grazing her sleeve. It didn’t cut, but what did was almost worse: where it touched her, her skin cracked and hardened, turned to solid gray stone. 

Hissing, Erza leapt back out of range and pawed at her shoulder. Even as she watched, the stony patch slowly faded, but she had no doubts it would be permanent if it managed to cover the rest of her.

All of the statues were moving now, the boom of their footsteps rolling through the room as they lurched towards them with an unearthly speed. And that wasn’t all: on the walls, the paintings were dripping, oozing wet paint, which pooled on the ground and rose in the shape of naked human figures, still strangely slick. They left painted footprints on the ground as they stumbled forward. 

“Nyaaah!” cried Baka, leaping onto the chandelier. “What’s happening, nya?!” 

“Don’t let them touch you!” cried Erza.

“What’s going on?!” wailed Gura. “Let Gura down! Gura wants to see!” Erza was tempted to throw her as a distraction.

“We need to do something quickly,” said Samus, arms raised to punch, though she had the sense not to actually throw one. “Break them, or stop them. There are too many to avoid forever–eventually they’ll corner us.” 

“It’s pretty nyice up here if nyou wanna join me,” said Baka, swinging on the chandelier.

After a moment, Samus lurched forward and grabbed a chair. “Protect Gura,” she said, thrusting it at the closest painting-girl, a young woman with a fox’s ears and tail. The paintings and the statues pause for a second, but that was all. Not a second later, they resumed their assault, and already more of them were moving into position, jostling at the back of the crowd like fans eager to see their idols perform. And turn them into stone. 

Slowly, Erza retreat, making sure she wasn’t backing into any other living artwork as she did. In the meanwhile, her head snapped from one item to another, desperately searching for something that could help them, but it was useless. Even a cannon couldn’t take out so many golems–not unless they all lined up in a row, anyway. 

Samus continued her own slow retreat, thrusting her chair at the statues in order to keep them away, but their attackers seemed oblivious to her assault. It either bounced off their skin or sank into it in the paintings’ cases, and either way the effect was the same: they just kept coming, in increasing numbers. 

<SKILL CHECK: SAMUS - AGILITY …FAIL!>

Finally, one lurched past the chair and made a swing for her. Samus dodged, but her slimy new body was a lot slower than the one she was used to, and though the statue missed the arm it was aiming for, its hand nonetheless slipped through the gloopy pillar of her leg and settled halfway inside her. 

With a crack like splintering ice, a patch of stone formed on Samus’s thigh, trapping the statue’s arm inside it. Screwing up her face, Samus struggled to pull away, but her new body could only stretch so far–she was caught. 

“Samus!” cried Erza.

With Samus focused on trying to free her leg, the statues wasted no time in taking advantage of the opening. With a silent moan, a sculpture of a young woman with twin drills threw itself at Samus’s other leg, sinking her fingers deep into the slime. And with a crackle, Samus’s other leg froze like a lake in winter. This time, Samus actually gasped. 

“Samus!”” Gripping Gura as tight as she could, she grabbed a candlestick holder and rushed to help, thrusting it like a rapier, but the statues and the paintings took no more notice of her blows than they had of Samus’s chair. 

Grabbing said chair, one of the painting girls snatched it out of Samus’s hands (actually, a good portion of her hands went with the chair) and flung it aside without a thought. And with their prey’s last defense removed, another pair of statues threw themselves at her, their stony hands aimed for her boobs. Schlup! 

As their hands sank into her breasts, Samus moaned. Not loudly, but it was still the strongest emotion Erza had heard from her since her arrival. “Samus!” Hissing, she knocked a statue aside and flung herself forward, but she barely managed to take a step before another statue slipped into her path and blocked her.

In her rush to help, she didn’t realize she’d let go of Gura till the goblin struck the ground with a laugh and scurried between the legs of the statues, aimed straight for the banquet table. Erza moaned, but there was little she could do to stop her.

Meanwhile, stone continued to spread over Samus’s form as her slime froze with a sound like cracking glass. Already, it had covered her legs, and now it continued to wash over her chest and down her arms and across the puddle of goo formed from her feet, creating a strangely slim pedestal for her to stand on. 

As it spread, Samus’s moans of pleasure grew more and more ferocious. When one of the statues slipped behind her and grabbed her butt, she gave in entirely, throwing back her head in one last wild scream of lust.

A moment later, the stone spread over her face, and that was that. 

Erza’s back slammed into the wall. Heart pounding, she raised her candlestick just in time to block another stony swing. This time, however, the holder flew from her hand, leaving her defenceless. She hissed. 

Just as she thought the next blow would be the end, the statues froze. Utterly, as if whatever magical spell was animating them had ceased to function. Slowly, they pulled back and trudged away, the sculptures returning to their original positions while the painting-women crawled back into their frames. Even the statues who’d caught Samus pulled themselves free of her, and together they took up a place at the side of the room, their new member’s stone flowing like a liquid as she joined them.

Erza struggled to regain her breath.

“I-is it over?” asked Baka, looking down from the chandelier. 

As Erza went to answer, a moan of delight from the table cut her off. Gura stood on one of the chairs, happily sampling every delicacy in reach, no matter how poorly they went together. As Erza stared in horror, the goblin-shark stuffed herself with one treat after another, from canapés to sandwiches and chicken drumsticks to buffalo wings. Her belly ballooned, stretching her swimsuit tight around it.

Erza swore. Rushing over to the table, she tried to grab her and pull her away, or failing that, force the food out of her mouth, but it was like dealing with a ravenous dog. Snapping at her, Gura wrenched out of her grip, disappeared under the table, and reemerged on the other side. Clambering up onto the cloth, she threw herself at an enormous seafood platter and started slurping up the shrimp.

“Gura, stop!” cried Erza. “It’s poisoned!” 

“It’s not poisoned,” said Gura, pausing to roll her eyes at her. “Poison wouldn’t taste this good.” She took another bite and froze, her smile falling, as her stomach gurgled like a primordial swamp. “Uh oh.” 

<SKILL CHECK: GURA - TOUGHNESS …FAIL!>

…With a crash, Gura slammed onto her front and lay there twitching like a fish out of water, her eyes staring blankly ahead, while her tail flapped uselessly from side to side. 

“Gura!” Erza rushed to her, but even by the time she arrived, it was too late: before her eyes, Gura started to sizzle, her skin releasing thin ribbons of steam and tiny sparks. One landed on Erza’s arm, making her recoil with a hiss. Was it…? Was it oil?

With a long, low moan, Gura started to swell, her already plump body fattening fast, stretching her mizugi till it tore with an awful rip. Her floaties burst a moment later, unable to hold the swollen arms thickening inside them.

As Erza stumbled back, her eyes wide in horror, Gura continued to fatten, growing thicker and thicker, plumper and plumper, till her bloated body obscured the entire platter. Finally, which a flash and a fresh burst of sizzling, her skin crackled and turned deep-orange as it morphed from human flesh into a thick, crispy batter. 

With one last moan, Gura ceased moving. 

For several seconds, Erza simply stood there in shock, too stunned even to believe what had happened. Where Gura had been lying sat a gigantic battered fish, still steaming. It smelled delicious. “No…” 

From above came a hideous cackling.

Erza’s eyes snapped to the ceiling.

“And then there was one,” said the witch, as she floated down from above. “Oh, and Baka, I guess.”

On the chandelier, Baka squealed in terror. 

The new catgirl’s boots clacked as she struck the floor. Smoothing out her witch’s dress, she stretched, her long, black tail curling playfully behind her. She had a large crystal ball tucked under her arm, but no sooner had Erza noticed it than she cast it aside with a tremendous crash. “Well, there’s nyo nyeed for this thing anymore, nya.” She smirked.

“Mahou,” said Erza, searching for another candlestick.

“Thaaaaat’s riiiiiiiiight~.” With a giggle, Maho slipped into the chair at the head of the table and folded her fingers and grinned. Her teeth seemed even sharper than Baka’s. “Welcome to my Mansion, nya. Have nyou had fun? I hope nyou have. Of all the maids I’ve brought in over the last year, I think nyou’re my favorite.” 

Erza glared at her, but Mahou seemed not to notice. “Since nyou’re the last one standing, I guess nyou deserve a little reward, don’t nyou, nya? Let’s start by having nyou sit.” 

“I’m not going to–” 

“SIT,” said Mahou. And though she couldn’t have said it louder than a whisper, the word leapt from her tongue with a tail of fire and burned in the air, shaking the room with its intensity. Erza found herself flung into the nearest chair, which scraped itself along the floor and into Mahou’s immediate presence. “Much better, nya.” 

Erza struggled to stand, but she could feel the word still on her, tight as iron bindings. “You’re not counting Baka then?” she said at last, seeing she couldn’t free herself by force. 

Mahou flicked her eyes at the chandelier, where Baka was desperately trying to hide from her. “Nyo.” She snapped her fingers, and in a flash Baka teleported to the chair opposite Erza. 

“Nyah!” She almost leapt straight out of it. “M-Mistress Mahou! What are nyou doing here?!” 

“Shut up, Baka.” She turned back to Erza. “Nyo, I’m nyot counting Baka.” 

Erza gave her a glare. “Because she’s one of your minions?” 

“Nyo, because she’s an idiot.” She rolled her eyes. “She’s nyot my minion anyway. She works for the maid delivery company. This isn’t even the first time she’s fallen into the package. I swear, Baka, if this happens again, I’m going to seal nyou into an envelope and ship nyou back home second-class!”

“Nyah! I’m sorry, it won’t happen again!” 

“Nyou said that the last time! And the time before that!” Baka’s head snapped back to Erza with disturbing speed. “Anyway, nyow that’s out of the way, nyour reward… let’s see… let’s see… let’s see…” 

“Turn the others back,” said Erza, flicking her eyes at Gura. 

“Hmmm? Oh!” Mahou’s smile curled. “Just so we’re on the same page, nya, this isn’t actually a reward. It’s just a little whimsical exception I’m making because I didn’t expect nyou to make it this far. Obviously I’m nyot going to do anything crazy like turn them all back–what in Mom’s nyame would I get out of that? Do nyou think I’m Baka, nya? Nyo nyo nyo nyo nyo… I’ve got a way better idea…” She licked her lips. “How about I give nyou the chance to earn nyour freedom, nya?” 

“My freedom…?” 

“Nyeah!” Mahou cackled like the witch she was. “All nyou gotta do is beat me in combat!” 

With a massive laugh, Mahou rose into the air. Landing on the table, she swept her hand to the side and sent all the food–Gura included–flying off it. Another jerk of the wrist, and she lifted Erza out of her chair and dropped her at the far end. 

“Nyormally there’d be nyo chance of a human like nyou beating a Bakeneko Noble like me,” said Mahou, “But nyou wanna know a little secret?” She leaned forward, all conspiratorial. “I’m pretty much the weakest Noble there is, nya. I don’t have any strength or any special power. They wouldn’t even give me a title! So nyou can totally beat me, if nyou’re a little lucky.” 

With a flash of flame, Mahou produced a contract and a quill. 

“You want me to sign that?” said Erza, who knew a magically-binding contract when she saw one. 

“Nyah, it’s for me, nya.” Grabbing the quill, Mahou sighed her name on the dotted line. “There. I, Mahou the Mad Witch, formally agree to let nyou go if nyou beat me in mortal combat, nya.” Discarding the quill, she flung the contract at Erza. “Read it, if nyou think I’m lying, but I promise nyou I’m nyot. It’s a measure of how confident I am, nya. Here, I’ll give nyou a weapon too.” Rummaging in her cleavage, she produced a longsword and tossed it down the length of the table to Erza. “I think it’s enchanted, even. Extra damage against spiders or something.” 

Swallowing, Erza picked up the sword and tested its balance. It felt as good, if not better, than the ones she was used to. It had a nice, hard handle too, perfect to– She shook her head. Concentrate! “What’s the catch?” she said.

Mahou cocked her head and smiled. “Aw, come on, nyou must have guessed that by nyow, nya.” She held out her hand and, with a flash of flame, produced a leatherbound spellbook, which crackled and spat sparks as she opened it, releasing a great column of colorful smoke. “I may nyot be very strong, or have any special powers, nya, but I’m a master of the Narration, which is to say, magic.” She raised her hand, swirling with runes, grinned, looking thoroughly insane. “I’m going to crush you like a level 1 slime, nya.” 

Orchestral music, complete with faux Latin chanting, threatened to deafen them.

<MAHOU, THE MAD WITCH>

<STR: 10>

<TGH: 10>

<AGL: 10>

<INT: 10>

<WIS: 10>

<PER: 10>

<MAD: 9999>

Down on the floor, Baka giggled at the record turning on the phonograph.

“Nyow,” said Mahou, raising her hand–the sparks of a half-formed spell glittered around her fingers. “Let’s begin.” With a wild laugh, she threw herself across the table, shooting through the air like some kind of feline missile. Halfway across, she reached into her book and drew from the pages a blade of emerald fire, which she brought down towards Erza’s head in a great, burning arc. 

Erza barely had time to block, let alone think of a strategy. No sooner had Mahou struck than she did so again, bringing her blade around for one sweep after another, as if it weighed nothing more than the flames it resembled. When it struck Erza’s own sword, however, she certainly felt the weight of it. 

Flitting back, Mahou flung aside her sword and produced a shining array of tiny daggers, which she launched like a volley of arrows. Erza had to roll, using her sword as a makeshift shield, as they rained down on her, making dull thuds as they slammed into the table. 

As Mahou landed, Erza fought to recover her strength. It’s hopeless, she thought, panting for breath. Even if she could cross the distance between them, she didn’t have the energy left to overpower Mahou’s sword play. She needed a new tactic. Something to turn the tables.

Giggling, Baka rewound the phonograph and put on the second part of the boss track. 

Laughing like a demon, Mahou raised her hands and conjured two gigantic burnings cat’s paws. Bringing her own together with a clap, she launched their giant copies at Erza, who barely had the time to drop before they crashed together above her. 

With a snicker, Mahou turned her hands and thrust them down. Erza rolled to the sides as the paws crashed into the table behind her, all but cracking it in half with the force of their impact.

As Mahou raised her hands again, Erza decided to take her chance. Forcing herself to her feet, she charged the mad witch with a scream of defiance, sword raised for a heart thrust. Mahou resummoned her burning blade, and the two swords met with a crash that threw sparks all over the table. 

“It’s… over!” cried Mahou, laughing madly. “Nyou’ve lost, nya! Nyow, surrender! Surrender, surrender, surrrrrrrrrreeeeeeendaaaaaaa–WHAT?!”

As one, the two turned to see Baka tugging at Mahou’s leg. “Can I use the bathroom, nya?” 

Mahou grabbed her by the throat and squeezed it so tight Baka’s eyes practically popped out of their sockets. “Nyou little piece of–! Can’t nyou see I’m busy? When we’re done here, I’m going to tear nyou into so many pieces they’ll nyeed a map to put nyou back together!” With a war cry, she slung Baka across the room and spun back to Erza, her eyes burning with rage–

<STAT CHECK: ERZA - STRENGTH …PASS!>

–just in time for Erza’s fist to slam into her left boob. 

As Mahou recoiled with a squeak, her breast rippling like a water balloon, Erza slammed a second blow in her other boob and a third into her face, and when the catgirl spun around clutching her nose, drew back her leg and kicked her butt so hard she flew off the table and landed in the fireplace. Her dress made a delightful whoosh as it ignited.

Her heart thudding inside her chest, Erza grabbed her sword and rushed down to finish her off.

At the same time, Mahou burst out of the fire, her witch’s outfit burned away and her body looking a lot plumper and browner. “Nnn~! Nyou little… That was a cheap–Nnyah!” 

Erza’s sword made a squelching sound as it entered Mahou’s breast, but the witch seemed remarkably unaffected. “Hah! Nyou think that’ll hurt mmmphf!!” 

Smirking, Erza wiggled her toes in Mahou’s mouth. “Surrender,” she said. 

“Mmmphfever!” 

“Surrender!” repeated Erza. 

“Mmmyo!” 

Erza sighed. “Well, I guess it all comes down to this, then.” She pulled her foot out of Mahou’s mouth and bent down, leaning so close they could have kissed. 

Mahou stared at her, blushing. “Wh-what are nyou going to do, nya, kiss me?” 

Erza kissed her. And as Mahou eyes widened in shock, she wrapped a hand around one of the catgirl’s boobs and started to grope her, squeezing till the witch whined and writhed beneath her. 

Pulling away, Erza took a deep breath. “You shouldn’t have turned me into a succubus,” she said, as Mahou mewled beneath her. “I already have more than enough experience fighting with seduction.” She stuck her fingers up Mahou’s cunt. Schlup! The catgirl squealed. 

Baka, watching, turned a deep red and fanned herself awkwardly. 

For the next few minutes, Erza did to Mahou pretty much everything it was possible for one young woman to do to another, kissing her, groping her, fingering her, scissoring her, and when that still didn’t work, sticking the hilt of a sword up her asshole. Whether it was extra-effective against spiders or not, it certainly made Mahou scream.

Finally, after much intense pleasuring, Erza pulled away, leaving a red-faced, kiss-splattered Mahou lying wet and dripping on the floor beneath her. “Surrender,” she repeated. 

“Ny-ny-nyes, Mistress,” said Mahou, eyes spinning. “Oooo…” 

“Now,” said Erza, “turn me back to normal.” 

“Ooo… okay…” With a snap of Mahou’s fingers, Erza found herself back in her human form, her figure returned to a more reasonable size as well. Her waitress uniform remained as skimpy as ever, but she could live with that. 

“Now turn everyone else back too…” 

On the ground, Mahou moaned. “N-nyo…! That wasn’t the agreement, nya! I said I’d send nyou home, nyot every else.”

Gritting her teeth, Erza stuck her toe up Mahou’s pussy. The catgirl squealed, rolling from side to side in pleasure. Or possibly agony. “Do it!” 

“Nyo nyo…! And nyou can’t make me…! I’m nyot that weak, nya…! Take the deal and get out, before I–nnn~!–recover.”

Erza sucked in a deep breath. “I’m not leaving without the others!” 

Mahou struggled to recover her own breath. “Okay, okay, okay! I’ll offer nyou anyother deal, nya…!” Holding out her hand, she conjured another contract. “I’ll turn everyone nyou came here with back and let them go home, alright…?” 

Erza stared, waiting for her to finish. 

“...so long as nyou agree to stay here instead.” Grabbing her quill, Mahou chuckled. “What do nyou think, nya?”

Erza exhaled a long, deep breath.