Mansion of Madness! - Chapter 7

With a snap of her fingers, Freiren extinguished her werelight. There was no need for it anymore: the room on the other side of the door shone, as if they were peering through a portal into a tropical, sunlit paradise.

Taking a cautious step through, Freiren recoiled at the clack of her school shoes against the floor and looked down to see herself standing on tiles. Pastel pink, with a few odd spots of blue, they stretched into the distance like the squares of a gigantic chessboard, before dropping abruptly into an equally enormous swimming pool, its water sparkling. Colorful waterpipes curled overhead, tangled in every direction, and from above them came the intense light that had made Freiren’s own unnecessary, though what its source was, she couldn’t say. 

Nearby sat a large pile of pooltoys in various colorful types, neatly stacked.

“Wh-what exactly is this?” asked Weiss. “What kind of Mansion has a waterpark inside it?” 

“Ooo, nyeat,” said Baka. “We found the bathroom!” 

“Bathroom?!”  

“Nyeah!” Baka looked baffled. “Nyou guys don’t have a swimming pool in nyour bathrooms, nya?” 

“Don’t you try to make me feel poor,” snapped Weiss. 

“Are you saying this is Mahou’s bath?!” cried Gura.

“Nyeah!” Baka paused, nibbling her finger in thought. “I wonder what happens if nyou pull the plug, nya…”

Slowly, the seven of them filtered into the room and spread out, searching for what they should do next. Unfortunately, if there was an exit, it was as obscured as the library’s had been. 

“Is there another convenient spell in that book?” asked Samus.

Scanning the grimoire’s index, Freiren scowled. “Yes…” she said, after a moment of pause. “But it’s not quite what–” 

“Who cares about that?! Just hurry up and cast it so we can get out of here!” cried Weiss. 

Freiren sighed. “Well, if you want me to…” Placing her finger on the appropriate magical sigil, she started to chant. As the words left her mouth, the book’s pages flashed, and from the burning depths of its gutter sprang seven streamers of magical light, which whizzed through the air, turning and spiralling like fireworks, before crashing into each of their bodies. 

Weiss and Gura squealed. Samus gasped. Freiren simply closed her eyes and sighed in impatience. 

Shining, their clothing rippled and starting to run like molten wax, flexing and stretching and warping in thick streams around their forms. Finally, their costumes split in the middle, and each of the resultant halves shriveled into something considerably more revealing. 

One by one, their outfits finished changing. “Well, this is much better,” said Weiss, as her clown costume finished melting into a polka-dot bikini. “I can’t say I’m much a fan of the color though… And it could really do with being a little–Nnn~!–bigger.” 

“You could say that,” said Erza, whose waitress uniform had transformed into a sexy one-piece whose overtaxed straps threatened to slice her boobs in half. They barely even covered her nipples.

“It definitely beats being dressed as a hooker,” said Nicole, inspecting her new leopard-print bikini. “Hey, and I got to keep the purse too!” 

Freiren sighed as her own frock collapsed into a skimpy sky blue two-piece. Samus, her bunnysuit rendered an even more revealing one, was equally dispirited.

The only one whose clothes hadn’t changed was Gura, who’d merely gained a pair of floaties and a swimring. “Really?” she said, trying and failing to pull them off. “Really?!”

“Wait a second,” said Weiss, fighting to adjust her cups. “How is this meant to help us escape?” 

“It’s not,” said Freiren, unable to keep her eyes from sinking into the depths of Weiss’s exposed cleavage. “It’s a ‘Dress Everyone Up to Better Fit the Bathroom’ spell. This is all it does.” 

Weiss looked like she’d sucked a lemon. “Then why did you bother to cast it?!” 

“Well, you wouldn’t want to go swimming in a clown costume, would you?” asked Nicole. “Just think about how much water those pants would carry.” 

“Do we have to go swimming?” said Gura, approaching the edge of the pool and toeing the water. It seemed safe here, close to the shore, but Freiren could see the bottom of the pool sloping downward as it stretched away, and who knew what was lurking in the abyss?

“There is no exit on this side of the pool,” said Samus flatly. “And it seems you cannot walk around it without running into the wall, so…” 

“We have no choice,” said Erza, approaching the edge. 

“Aw, what about the water slide?” cried Baka, bouncing on the spot. Her witch outfit had transformed into a dark purple bikini, which was currently fighting for its life to hold her boobs–strangely, she’d kept her pointy hat.

“Water slide?” 

Baka pointed to the other side of the deck, where a staircase led up into the incomprehensible network of water pipes running over their head. 

“Pass,” said Gura. “Who knows what would happen to us in there? It’d probably shoot us straight into a blender or something.” 

“Agreed,” said Samus. “We should take our chances with the water.” 

“Do we really have to swim though?” asked Weiss. 

“Well, there is one other alternative,” said Freiren, pointing to the pooltoys. 

Erza and Freiren exchanged a glance. “Well, it should be a little safer,” said Erza.

*

One by one, they picked a pooltoy from the pile and carried it to the water. 

Erza settled on an inflatable unicorn with a platinum blonde mane, which made her feel like a knight riding into battle. 

Nicole picked a small, one-man raft styled like a luxurious white and blue yacht, while Samus picked a larger orange one with a fox motif. 

Gura grabbed what appeared at first to be an inflatable shark, though on closer inspection it looked little more draconic, while Baka snatched up a broomstick to go with her hat, and Freiren ended up with dark purple lilo. 

Weiss, meanwhile, found herself straddling a giant yellow banana whose squeaks sounded decidedly erotic. “I’m not complaining,” she said, when the others looked at her in concern. “It could have been an inflatable circus tent.” 

And so, having ensured they were all seated and were ready for what was to come, they kicked off, paddling slowly away from the shore. The pool–a term which was really an understatement, since it was more like an indoor lake–seemed to have its own current, and before long there was no need to kick at all. All they had to do was lie back and relax and let the water carry them to their destination. 

“This isn’t that bad, actually,” said Nicole, lying back on her inflatable yacht’s deck. “Hey, I wonder if I can get a tan here?” 

“Knowing our luck, you’re more likely to cook,” said Erza. “...You’re being careful with Ilulu and Emilia, aren’t you?” 

“Of course I am,” replied Nicole, raising her purse. “They’re all tucked safely away, I promise.” 

The current carried them on at a steady, relaxed pace, as if they were riding a riverboat down the Seine on a lazy summer day in Paris. The walls slid past them, slowly as molasses. Overhead, the pipes of the water slide stood silhouetted against the artificial sun. Watching them pass, Weiss raised a hand to shield her eyes. Maybe Erza was right about them being cooked–maybe they should have brought some sunscreen. 

“What exactly are we looking for?” said Gura, after ten minutes had passed. “Are we just going to keep riding these things forever?” 

“I’m not complaining,” said Nicole, lying back.

“Me neither,” said Weiss, resting her head on the tip of her banana. “This is much nicer than anything else that’s happened to us in here.” 

“We are looking for an exit,” said Samus, as if reminding a particularly slow pupil about a previous lesson. 

“Yeah, but what does that mean?” said Gura. “Why do we have to ride the pooltoys?! Why couldn’t we have gone a different way?!” 

They all looked at her. “Gura, can you swim?” asked Erza, after a moment. 

“Of course I can swim! Why would you ask that?” 

Erza and Weiss exchanged a look. “No reason,” said Weiss. 

On the other side of their little flotilla, Baka thrashed, gripping her broomstick and shaking it like a stubborn horse. “How do I make this thing fly, nya?” 

They floated on.

*

Half an hour or more passed in tranquil silence, with nothing more to disturb it than the odd splash as Baka slid off her broom. The walls slid past, as did the pipes overhead, yet no matter how far they traveled, the shore never seemed any closer. All the same, they couldn’t complain. It was a lot more fun than being put through a meat grinder. 

Just as it seemed their relaxing little trip would go off without a single hitch, they entered the mist. 

“Er,” said Weiss, sitting up on her banana. The rest of them snapped to sudden attention as well. 

“Everyone grab hands,” said Samus, extending her own. “We don’t want to get separated.” 

Hurriedly, they all grabbed hands and pulled themselves together into a tight formation, like boats tied together to weather a storm. And not a second later, the mist swept over them, smothering everything beneath a blanket of endless white, like spilled cotton.

Weiss, holding tight to Erza, squeezed even harder. The redhead’s grip was like iron, but the last thing she wanted was to be separated from the group. 

As the mist settled over them, everything seemed to become quieter, as if, in addition to block their sight, it was stifling their hearing as well. 

Just as suddenly as the sound had vanished, a stark one cut through the silence: “Ew, I swallowed some!” cried Baka. “It tastes like soooooap!” 

Weiss flinched. “K-keep quiet!” she cried. “Who knows what’s lurking in this stuff?” 

She hadn’t actually meant this–she just wanted Baka to shut up–but airing the thought planted a little seed of paranoia in her. What if something were hiding in the mists? This was a really big pool. Was it that crazy to think it was hiding monsters?

“Hey, Baka’s right,” said Gura, “it does taste like soap.” 

“It is soap!” said Nicole. “It’s not mist, it’s soap suds!” 

“What?” said Weiss, scooping some up herself. Sure enough, it was a thick, bubbly foam.

“Well, we are in the bathroom,” said Erza. “I suppose it makes as much sense as anything.” 

“None, you mean?” said Weiss, beneath her breath. 

Nonetheless, as they sailed on, she kept an eye on the mist, watching as it swept over her arm and left her skin smooth and shiny, just as if she’d been through a good bath. It was quite nice, actually.

“It’s making me feel all tingly,” said Gura, suddenly. 

<SKILL CHECK: GURA - TOUGHNESS …PASS!>

“When was the last time you had a bath?” asked Weiss. 

“Well, it was a few months ago now, but–Hey!” 

Several moments passed in silence. Soapsuds bubbled all over Weiss’s arms.

Finally, Samus coughed. “I’m beginning to think we may have made a mistake.” 

“Wh-what do you mean?” asked Gura, sounding a little woozy. “We’re all… we’re all okay, aren’t we?” 

“These suds do not feel like normal suds,” said Samus. “They are making my skin feel very strange.” 

<SKILL CHECK: SAMUS - TOUGHNESS …PASS!>

“When was the last time you washed?” said Weiss. “I don’t know about the rest of you, but I feel fine.” 

“I… I don’t know…” said Nicole, from behind her. “They’re making me feel a little weird as well. …Like, really lightheaded all of a sudden. I almost fell like I’m going to…” 

<SKILL CHECK: NICOLE - TOUGHNESS …FAIL!>

“Nnn~!” With a squeal of what could only be pleasure, Nicole suddenly cut off. 

“N-Nicole? Nicole!” cried Erza. “She let go! I can’t see her!” 

Weiss hissed. “Where is she?” she said, looking around in panic. She just about make out the forms of the others as silhouettes in the mist, but other than Erza, none of them were in reach. 

“Behind us!” cried Erza. “Quickly, someone needs to grab her before she falls be–Nn~!” With a moan, she jerked her own hand out of Weiss’s grip and doubled over, shivering. “D-dammit…” 

<SKILL CHECK: ERZA - TOUGHNESS …PASS!>

Weiss’s eyes snapped between Erza and the rapidly-shrinking silhouette of Nicole. “Oh, fine!” she said. “I’ll save her!” Sticking her feet back in the water, she spun her banana around and kicked as fast as she could in the direction of Nicole. 

“Urgh,” she said, as she swept aside the mist. “Why is it always left to me to do the hard work?” 

A few quick kicks later, Nicole’s yacht appeared ahead, its bow splitting the mist like an iceberg. And on its deck…

As she came close enough to see, Weiss’s eyes widened in horror. On the deck of the rubber raft, Nicole lay on her front, her eyes wide and her mouth open in a moan as her body pulsed and swelled like a balloon on the hose, her swimsuit straining to hold in her swelling figure. “Nnnn~! W-Weiss…” 

Hissing, Weiss grabbed her. What was she meant to do here? Was there anything she could do to stop it? 

Her eyes snapped to the suds coating Nicole’s form, and realization struck her. Oh. Oh, of course. Taking a deep breath, she struggled to blow them away and, when that didn’t work, hurried to rub them off by hand. Several seconds into this, she realized she was simply getting them all over herself, and with a sudden squeal of panic, she struggled to blow them into the water instead. 

Soon enough, she had herself and Nicole mostly clear of the suds, but the mists around them remained as thick as ever, and no sooner had she stopped than the suds started to reappear. Worse, Nicole’s change didn’t seem to be slowing–in fact, if anything, it appeared to be speeding up. 

With a bowoing, Nicole’s boobs exploded into a pair of fat, shiny-looking beachballs, and her arms snapped straight, wrapping around them and squeezing tight. 

Weiss blushed. “N-Nicole…? Nicole, can you hear me?” 

Nicole screwed up her eyes and moaned again, but when she opened them, she was able to nod. “Weeeeeiss…” she said, and her voice sounding airy, as if she’d come home drunk. “Weiss, it feels so goood… I just wanna… I just wanna close my eyes and float about forever…” 

Weiss pulled back with a grimace. What was it doing to her?! 

As Nicole’s butt started to bloat as well, stretching her leopard-print bikini bottoms tight around their cheeks, Weiss grabbed her pudgy, rubbery hand and started trying to tow her back in the direction of the others. Even if she couldn’t do anything, maybe they could. Freiren! Freiren would probably have a plot convenient spell for them!

A few kicks in, she realized she couldn’t see them anymore though. The silhouettes in the mist had vanished, as if swallowed whole by some gigantic monster. “Fr-Freiren!” she called, with increasing panic. “Erza! Hello?! Can anyone hear me?!” 

In the depths of the mist, something groaned. Weiss snapped her feet out of the water and froze, too scared even to speak. 

Beside her, Nicole moaned like a woman enjoying the most passionate bout of sex they’d ever had. Weiss wanted to shush her, but she was too scared even to do that. By now, Nicole had grown so large she barely fit on her raft, her buttcheeks bloated into a pair of giant orbs, larger together than the rest of her combined, while her thighs had thickened to match. She lay on her front, with her legs curled up beneath her, her arms wrapped around her boobs, and her head staring ahead, still moaning, though with every second her voice seemed a little quieter. Even as Weiss watched, her eyes started to glaze over. 

Carefully, Weiss lowered her feet back into the water. If she could just paddle ever so slowly…

A wave rocked them from side to side, almost throwing her from her banana. Weiss squealed. And looked down. 

Beneath her, in the depths, swam a shadow the size of a house. 

As Weiss screamed in fresh terror, the shape lurched upward, and Nicole’s yacht shot underwater as if it were on a rope, leaving Nicole herself bobbing mindlessly atop the waves. For a moment or two, the darkness beneath the surface turned in circles, and then, just as abruptly, shot upward towards them again. At the last second, Weiss realized it was coming for her. 

With a scream, she leapt off her banana towards Nicole, momentarily forgetting Nicole’s raft was gone. Fortunately, it didn’t matter–Nicole was enough of a raft herself now. Landing on her back, Weiss found herself in a cushy rubber seat seemingly shaped out of her back. 

Not a second later, her banana vanished in a giant burst of water and foam. Weiss could only stare, quaking in terror. What was she supposed to do now?! 

Nicole emitted one last feeble whine of lust that cut off midway through. Leaning forward, Weiss found her face had frozen, features replaced by simple cartoon substitutes, including a ridiculous, gigantic smile. Her bikini seemed to have fused with her skin as well, becoming the same inseparable plastic. Only her purse, with Ilulu and Emilia inside, remained the same. 

Grabbing it, Weiss threw the strap over her shoulder. There had to be a way she could get all four of them out of here. There had to be! 

In the mists, shadows: “Weiss!” called Erza’s voice. “Weiss!” 

Weiss froze again. Should she respond? But what if the monster could still hear her? 

She risked a glance over the side of Nicole. Sure enough, the monster was circling beneath her, waiting for the slightest excuse to shoot up and grab her.

Weiss chewed her lip, breathing hard. With every second, the others were growing closer too. What would happen if they made a noise? It could swallow three or four of them at once. 

Weiss’s heart sunk as she realized what she had to do. 

Clenching her fists to stop their trembling, she slipped Nicole’s purse off and placed it carefully in the other girl’s seat. This done, she lowered her legs over the side and oh so gently into the water, making certain not to create a splash. Once her feet were in, she slid the rest of her in as well, shivering, despite the warmth of the water, as it washed over swollen breasts. Finally, she swam to the back of Nicole, placed her hands on her buttcheeks and pushed her as hard as she could in the direction of the others.

As she watched Nicole float away, she took a deep breath, turned, and started to swim in the opposite direction. She paddled slowly at first, but as soon as she’d put some distance between them, she started to frontcrawl as hard as she could, making sure to kick and splash as much water around as possible. 

Beneath her, the shape in the water turned and started to rise. As it approached, Weiss took a deep breath and screwed up her eyes. The last thing she saw was a giant, draconic maw, opening wide. 

She dropped downward, sucked. Everything went dark. Bouncing with a squeal off something large and squishy, she dropped through a hole and down a long, bubbly slide, smooth and yet mildly abrasive, like a bar of well-worn soap. Not a second later, she landed with a squeak on something plump and rubbery. Opening her eyes, she realized it was Nicole’s yacht. Her banana lay beside it. 

Looking around, she found herself in what could only be the monster’s belly, though it was smooth and white and filled with a bubbly froth instead of acid. Strange fronds, glowing, dangled from the ceiling–they looked a little like bars of soap on string. 

Sitting upright, Weiss struggled to catch her breath. “O-okay, Weiss, you’re still alive. You can still escape this. All you have to do is think.” Think. How exactly could she get out of here? 

The world turned, and Weiss flew from the yacht into the sea of froth filling the cavern. Where it touched her, her skin tingled, tingled intensely, and with a sudden flash of panic, she realized what was in store for her. “N-no! No!” She struggled to climb back onto the yacht, even as her legs threatening to give away beneath her. 

She was too slow. 

<SKILL CHECK: WEISS - TOUGHNESS …FAIL!>

With every second, the tingling spreading through her form became more and more intense, until at last she could bear it no longer. Moaning, Weiss dropped to the floor and squealed as her gigantic boobs struck the ground. “Nnnn~!” 

Groaning, she struggled to push herself up. All of a sudden, it was so difficult to think–she felt as if someone had been forcing her to drink helium. Fumbling for purchase on the soapy, slippery ground, she barely even noticed what was happening to her body. 

It was like her lightheadedness had spilled from her brain and poured through the rest of her, leaving her entire body as empty as her head. For a second, she could only lie there and moan, unable to bear the emptiness, but no sooner had it formed than it was suddenly replaced by its exact opposite: like a wave, intense fullness swept through her, straining her skin and threatening to break her mind even more. She squealed, eyes rolling back in pleasure.

With a bowoing, her already ginormous boobs inflated again, pumped into a pair of perfect spheres. Her buttcheeks soon joined them, growing till they were so large they barely fit in the monster’s belly. Her arms, moving on their own, curled around the former, while her legs folded themselves neatly under her ass. Her skin, already so slick from the soap, took on a whole new level of glossiness. Soon, it looked less like skin, and more like…

Even as seams wove their way over her form and her rubberized back depressed into a seat, Weiss struggled to stay in control of herself. Nnn~! H-hold it together, Weiss! You have to keep fighting! You have to stay in control… no matter how appealing it is to just give in and float… give in and float… give in… and float…

With a pop, her face turned to a big, grinning cartoon’s. 

*

The soapy mist swaddled the skin of the pool, smothering all sound. 

“Weiss?” called Erza. “Nicole?” No one responded. 

“Look!” cried Gura, all of a sudden. “There’s a raft!” 

Not a second later, however, their hearts sank in horror as it floated into view, its cartoon smile grinning at them mindlessly. 

“Is that… Nicole?” asked Freiren.

As the pooltoy bounced off their own, Erza grit her teeth in frustration. “Does anyone see Weiss?” she asked. The awful mist made it impossible to see anything, but she refused to give up hope. 

“There!” cried Samus. She pointed. 

Erza tracked her finger just in time to see a distant figure, swimming rapidly away from them. 

“What’s she doing?!” said Gura. “Is she crazy?” 

“The water…” said Samus. “Look…”

As one, their eyes dropped. Just in time to see a vast shadow emerge from the deeps and rise, fast, towards the fleeing shape of Weiss Schnee. Their fellow escapee vanished in an explosion of water, as it burst through the surface and rose, high, high, higher, its long white form coming close to reaching the pipes. 

Turning, it aimed two beady reptile eyes at them. Erza froze. 

“Nyaaaah!” cried Baka. “It’s a soap-serpent!” 

“Soap-serpent?” asked Erza. 

“Nyeah,” said Baka. “I think Mahou summoned them from Ukiwa or something. …Dey’re really scary! I’m glad I’ve nyever had to see one up clo–NYAAAAGH!”

Looming over them, the serpent opened its mouth and exhaled with a roar, unleashing another frothy stream of suds.

“What do we do now?” cried Gura, as the foam threatened to smother them. 

Erza clenched her fist. “We’ll have to fight it!” 

“Hooooow?!” wailed Gura. 

Erza’s head snapped to Freiren. “Some convenient magic would be very helpful now!”

“I’m already searching!” said the elf, flipping rapidly through the book. 

“I have an idea, nya!” said Baka. And before anyone could ask what she meant, she hopped off her pooltoy and disappeared with a plop into the depths. 

As the catgirl’s silhouette receded, Erza and Freiren could only stare. “What the hell is she…?” 

From somewhere below them came a titanic gurgling, like the grumbling belly of a giant whose lunch really doesn’t agree with him. And, slowly at first, but picking up speed fast, the current started to change on them. 

“Wh-what’s happening now?” cried Gura, clinging tightly to her shark. 

With a pop, Baka resurfaced and scrambled back onto her broom. “I did it! I did it, nya!” 

“Wh-what did you do?” said Erza, her face pale. 

“I pulled the plug, nya!” 

With a roar like a storm, the water turned in on itself, whipped and contorting into a writhing, hissing maelstrom. With a roar of its own, the soap-serpent snapped straight and slid slowly down it, its tail caught in the hole. The five of them could only scream as they circled around it, until at last, inevitably, they found themselves drawn downward as well. Everything quickly became very wet and very dark. 

For what felt like a full minute, the four of them dropped, screaming through the pipe, riding on the tail of a large lake’s worth of water, until at last, with a pop–

They burst out of the ceiling and onto another dark chamber. Landing with a splash on the contents of the bath, they gasped and gulped for air, fighting to hold on to their pooltoys. Another gurgling soon sounded, and the water level dropped as it drained away again. Mercifully, this second drain had a grill on it, so they weren’t sucked down as well. In the end, as the last few liters slipped away, they came to a stop on the immobile body of the soap-serpent, which seemed to have been knocked out by the impact. 

With a burp, it vomited up three pooltoys, one of which looked a lot like Weiss Schnee. 

Erza stared in defeat. 

“It probably thought she tasted funny,” said Baka, taking her silence for confusion. “Nyou know, because she was–” Erza pulled her hat down over her eyes.

Meanwhile, the others were looking around. “Where are we now?!” whined Gura, hopping off her own toy and sliding down to the ground. 

With a quick incantation, Freiren cast another werelight, revealing vast, stone brick walls, dripping and dank, and against them, enormous wooden barrels, stacked in endless rows. 

“I think,” she said, “we’re in the wine cellar.” 

“Fufufufu.” Laughter on the breeze, almost too faint to hear. “Drink up, nya~ I’ve prepared some very special brews for nyou.” 

Vote to decide who should act and what they should do! Depending on the combination, this might go really well for them! …Or it might not. More than one option may be enacted. 

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