PATREON EXCLUSIVE: Sex Cults, Bloodletting, & Other Funny Things

SURPRISE, Y'ALL!

Welcome to 2020, where the bar for high-budget documentary series has been raised to the point of no return. Can we ever go back to the time before Tiger King? No, and that's a new normal I can get behind. The Vow, from HBO, is about a cult BY stupid people, FOR stupid people, and I do not know how I'm not supposed to find it all very funny.

This video is the first in a series I'll be posting exclusively here on Patreon. Now, I have a confession to make: I'm too kind to The Vow in this video. I finished the series this past Sunday, when the finale aired, and since then it's become clear that I'm not alone in insensitively mocking some of the dorkier elements of this Very Serious Story. Have you guys watched it? It's basically a how-to guide for sociopaths, and it indirectly shows how easy it is to just target frickin' LA peoplee. The ways in which the cult's leader, Keith Raniere, hooks his prey is through some weird mix of negging, pop psychology, and actual basic truths that are spoken as though they're unique to him. "Fear keeps us from  achieving things." Wow, cool, thanks, Keith, you evil, evil dork. You gonna brand me now? Dork. 

Anyway, I don't know what this series is. I know that this video is about The Vow, and I know there's one on Lindsay Graham, that champion, and there's another on climate change, just because I like to keep things sexy. Tomorrow I'm filming one that's just a letter to my past self, so these are gonna be all over the place, whatever I wanna talk about, and they're just for YOU GUYS here on Patreon. My MO moving forward is to use this Patreon as a safe place to talk about whatever the heck I wanna DANG IT and I hope we can have some fun chats about it moving forward. 

In conclusion, The Vow is a terrible documentary series and I recommend avoiding it at all costs. Like a cult itself, it will suck you in, and just when you think you're in control, you realize you can't get out, and then you feel like the one being permanently branded by the blazing hot iron of mediocrity. Also they kinda made the evil dude less evil than he was for some reason? Maybe money? Screw The Vow, screw Keith Raniere, and most of all, screw me for being duped by the allure of yet another documentary series. Who's the fool, you know? The fool, or the fool who watches all nine episodes of these fools? 

If you wouldn't mind, please let me know what you think of these little videos. I hope they help take your mind off whatever stress you have going on, but if they don't, maybe you should try bloodletting? Also, can you think of a time you found something... funny... that maybe... you... shouldn't... find funny? Heh!

New video next week! They'll get better, too! You can practically see the dust falling off me since it's been so longed since I talked to a camera. Anyway, who am I kidding, this is art and it's perfect. 

-Elliott

***Direct link: https://youtu.be/6bzLqB_V2OQ ***

**Also, we are doing a live stream today at 2PM for Steve’s SOURCEFED AUDITION VIDEO since y’all have already gotten us 2/3 of the way through our headcount campaign!** Head over to http://twitch.tv/thevalleyfolk later today!