Systematic Shinobi: Multiverse Mayhem - Chapter 12.1

Once the original left, the Daiki clone in the form of Henrietta tapped his chin, "Now, what to do?" he mused, walking over to her desk and sitting down in her chair.

He overlooked the documents on her desk and rifled through them for a moment, before sighing and rolling his eyes. It was all nonsense. Literal, absolute nonsense. Most of it were fucking documents from nobles with demands for taking part in the war.

There was even one from fucking Louise's father making not so thinly veiled insults because Henrietta declared war and more or less, politely calling her naive, stupid and selfish.

…Even though from what Daiki had gathered Henrietta had originally sued for peace, only for Albion slash Reconquista to take it as a chance to attack and destroy part of the Tristain military.

Because for some stupid reason it was customary for them to fly out on air ships when suing for peace on un-armed ships with flags of white.

'What kind of nonsense is this bullshit?' Daiki goggled. Beyond the retarded frenchie customary nonsense, what the hell were these nobles even thinking, they were completely retarded.

Especially Louise's dad. You'd think the fact he'd married the former greatest knight in the entire kingdom would have been an indication that he was smart in the ways of war.

But all he was thinking about was his Dukedom and his monetary assets. Like, he knew the nobles here were stupid as fuck, but dear lord Tobirama above, what the actual fuck?

Was this seriously the bullshit Henrietta was dealing with? While trying to wage war? As an eighteen year old girl, thrust into the position with no experience or idea what to do?

And for months?

Holy shit. No wonder she was so willing to just accept being stolen away by some random guy promising to deal with all her problems, even if she thought she was dreaming.

Daiki stared at the stack of documents, that piled so high it reached up over six inches. There had to be literally over a hundred documents.

This shit was worthless.

With that thought in mind, Daiki picked up the entire stack of documents and promptly-

Tore them in half.

"This shit isn't even good enough to wipe my ass with." he snorted, which sounded kind of amusing in Henrietta's voice which was usually gentle and kind.

How to deal with this?

Well obviously, the church of the holy grind would have to come into existence. But beyond that, he needed some way to make these backwards frenchies bow down and accept it without whining about blasphemy this and Brimir that.

…Well, he did have the transformation jutsu and recording lacrima. He could always go about making a 'divine message' from the gods Brimir and Daiki.

Surely they would wet their weeks in sorrow and lament in despair after they were disparaged by their beloved Brimir?

A sudden knock on Henrietta's office door brought him out of his thoughts, "Enter." he called out in Henrietta's voice.

A moment later, the door was pushed open by a short blonde haired woman in a white cloak, Agnese, "My lady, Sir Wardes is here to see you." she bowed her head.

Hmm, she was quite cute.

And those thighs were delicious looking.

But more interestingly, Wardes was here? Well now, wasn't this a fun little time to be Henrietta.

"Let him in, Agnese." he ordered.

"Yes." Agenese replied simply and stood up, standing out of the way to allow the man of the hour himself to enter.

Clad in a dark blue outfit that would look right in place on a bard, Wardes stepped into the office, long dark grey hair and pedostache shining brightly.

And that ever so fancy feather tipped hat of his.

'Mine.' Daiki thought.

There was a furious look in his eyes that he was doing his level best to restrain and a scrunched up piece of parchment held tightly in his grasp.

As soon as Agnese closed the door, he practically exploded forward towards her desk, "My lady, I apologize for disturbing you, but, it is urgent!" Wardes declared, "It is about dear sweet Louise, I have received a…disturbing letter from her. I request a small leave of absence to go check on her."

"Oh dear, if Louise is in trouble then I cannot sit by idly," Daiki fake gasped, "What does the letter entail? May I ask?"

Wardes grimaced, "Ah, my lady, it is a disgusting thing, not fit for your eyes, I dare not show such a-"

Wardes was cut off, by 'Henrietta' standing up faster than he could react to and backhanding him across the cheek hard enough to send him flying where he slammed bodily into the wall.

And as he hit it, 'Henrietta' lifted her other hand from the desk, where a seal had been placed. Sealing off any sound from leaving the room.

"You dare refuse to show your queen what she asks for?" he gave Wardes an icy disgusted glare through Henrietta's eyes, "A silly little cuckold like you thinks he has the right to do so?"

Wardes, in the form of a sprawled ball of limbs again the wall, ass over head groaned in pain from where he lay, "Oh stop crying like the feeble little cuck you are," 'Henrietta' sneered, "That was but a love tap. But then, I suppose a weakling cuckold wouldn't be man enough to take a hit from even a weak woman such as myself."

"C-cuckold!?" Wardes gasped, eyes flickering open weakly to stare at her in horror, "The letter…it was from you? Not Louise? And how…are you so strong?"

"No, it was from Louise, it is just that like me Louise has had the pleasure of being blessed with the seed of a god," he in the form of Henrietta tutted at him and walked around the desk, "Our great god has bestowed a divine revelation upon us, and fucked the ever loving shit out of Louise, giving her a pleasure your tiny little maggot frenchie cock could never hope to."

Any idea of keeping his tone polite and refined as Henrietta faded away, as he walked over and delivered a kick straight into his crotch with Henrietta's dainty sized feet.

A squeal of pain left Warde's throat as the kick bodily lifted him into the air where he slammed into the wall again and would have fell face first into the ground, if not for 'Henrietta' grabbing him by the throat and lifting him into the air.

"W-why….?" he groaned out in a pained high pitched voice.

"Because the great god allowed me to know, what a filthy traitor you are, you disgusting cuckold." 'Henrietta' sneered and proceeded to slap him back and forth with the back of her hand, each with bruising force.

Honestly it was hard to hold back enough not to kill him with a simple slap. Yet, within moments, Wardes face was a disgusting bloated mess of bruised and swollen flesh.

…And multiple of his teeth had fallen out.

God he was weak.

He didn't even have the strength to resist, his eyes were glazed over as if partially unconscious and, oh his pants were soaked, Daiki honestly hadn't noticed.

He'd learned to ignore people soiling themselves upon death back home.

'Well this is lame.' he thought, staring at the limp Wardes in disappointment. He'd wanted to torment him a little more, but a few heavily held back half hearted slaps had rendered him into this?

He did notice something else though, liquid trailing from his eyes. He was crying.

Fuck it, good as it was to see, there was nothing much left to get out of tormenting something this pathetically weak.

It was like pulling the wings off of a butterfly or a fly.

Well, he could still at least drive the nail in one more time. What did the wiki say about Wardes again? That he was seeking out the Holy Land the elves resided in, because his mother was driven insane while researching it?

He could work with that.

"You wished to know what really happened to your mother did you not?" Henrietta's sweet voice asked maliciously.

Some light returned to Wardes eyes and his eyes were all but begging 'her' to answer the question, if 'she' knew.

"She was punished for giving birth to a failure like you by the great god Daiki, the king god who rules above even Brimir, he saw into the future and saw what a pathetic loser you would be," 'Henrietta' gleefully informed him, "As such, to punish you for your future actions, he fucked your mother with his massive divine cock. The pleasure was too great for her, which is to be expected, she did have the same pathetic blood as you in her veins, and her mind snapped."

Despite the swelling of his face, Warde's eyes widened in despair and horror, a pitiful whine escaping from his throat.

"Just like your neck." 'Henrietta' beamed happily at him.

Before jerking 'her' hand around his neck…

And accidentally tearing his head straight off.

"Oops…" 'Henrietta' gave a sheepish giggle.

Daiki stared at the swollen face of Wardes in his hand and marvelled at it. Well, to be exact.

He marvelled at the way swanky feather tipped hat had stayed on his head the entire time. That was one sweet ass hat.

"Mine now." Daiki gleefully took it and stuck it inside the Dimension Force Seal, before deciding to get right down to business. He dropped Wardes' head to the ground with a meaty plop sound and summoned two other clones.

One of them wasting no time in transforming into a feeble looking blonde pretty boy, with short hair and dainty features. Into Brimir to be exact.

Said Brimir clone casually picking up Wardes head and tossing it up and down like a bloody football, "So what should we do this this clown?" he asked, "Get rid of it, make an example of it or maybe use him to pilfer his magic power? Honestly, he's dead but his brain will still be functional for a little bit, we can jack his memories for how to use this places magic."

"Sounds like a waste of time to be honest," the clone in the form of their own body shrugged, "The magic here is kind of trash, beyond being able to fly but they need shit like a wand or another amplifier kinda thing to use the magic in the first place."

"True," Brimir clone agreed with a nod, before holding the head up with a grin and jiggling it to move the decapitated heads floppy swollen lips, "Oh Louise where art thou? Do you be cucking me again?"

Wardes head was promptly snatched by the Daiki clone and juggled up and down, "Oh come on, have some class," he snorted, "Let's turn his head into a football and play a game, or turn his skull into a drinking cup."

"Cliche." Brimir clone snorted.

"We can come back to that," Henrietta clone rolled his eyes, walking over and sealing the corpse away inside the Dimension Force Seal, "For now-

"Aww, I was just gonna suggest we piss on his corpse!" Brimir clone whined.

"For now," Henrietta clone pushed on, ignoring him, "While the boss is off dealing with all the wind stones, we should put our own little show on and cow the nobles and get propre belief in the church of the grind going."

"Aw, fine," Brimir clone whined, "This is so lame, I don't wanna deal with these losers. Wish I was that other lucky bastard that was watching movies with Emerald."

"He's literally us, it's not that different from parallel processing," Daiki clone shrugged, "Just that another processing gets a body to do it."

"Shut the fuck up," Brimir clone scoffed, "I'll fucking parallel process a Rasenshuriken in your face."

"Not if I rasenkan your ass bitch." Daiki clone stuck the finger up at him.

"It's Rasenringu you dumb duck." Brimir clone stuck the finger up right back at him.

"Yeah and it sounds fucking stupid, kan instead of ringu fits better," Daiki clone scoffed, "The real name for it is Spiralling Fear Wheel in English anyway so it should really be something like, Rasenfurin or something like that."

"True now that you bring it up," Brimir clone fused, dropping his finger to stroke his chin, "We should actually get on that soon, Rasenshuriken was piss easy to get down after the Rasengan we learned just before ending up here, granted we can't throw it yet."

"Well, I have a rough idea on how Menma's stupid overpowered Rasengan works anyway, I think he used the spiral motions to compress more chakra into it and that's why it turns black like a Bijuudama because it was so dense," Daiki clone mused, "And those rings of chakra were just used to both help keep it compressed until detonating and add even more chakra to it."

"Makes sense, that thing was big enough to wipe out over seventy miles of land," Henrietta clone shrugged, joining the discussion, "Think about how overpowered it would be if we combine it with nature transformation like the Rasenshuriken."

"Heh, I mean considering how big an area the Rasenshuriken covers when it explodes compared to a normal Rasengan…if even half of that factors into the fear wheel, we could probably make country buster." Daiki clone laughed lightly.

And together they drooled.

'…Morons.' Isobu huffed.

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Meant to get actual Systematic Shinobi done partly last night and some Stacking the deck. But a dude fucked my muse by sending me videos about that Googly Goon Clown freak and it disgusted me so much it fucked my muse for writing, so kinda just forced this instead. Sorry about that guys.