September: Admitting I have fears
Added 2019-09-06 20:26:28 +0000 UTC
Well I got the results from my MRI back on Wednesday and I would be lying if I were to say I wasn’t feeling pretty disheartened. Honestly while my worst case scenario was that I would need surgery, my biggest fear was that there would be nothing that can be done, and while that wasn’t the case entirely I am running on diminished hope that I will ever be 100% again.
Two years ago the pain had gotten bad enough that I saw a doctor about my knee who told me nothing was wrong with me despite that in the 10 minute drive to his practice I was in agony. This time I did get answers as to the root of the pain, and advice in managing it. That said there’s no fix only management. I have arthritis, bone spurs, and a small herniation of my L5.
I am going to be making every step I can to manage inflammation and keep this from becoming worse, but it will definitely affect my ability to put out as much work. Which is honestly pretty terrifying. I’ve talked about how at times social media feels like feeding a machine. The inhuman mechanics of algorithms punish us for being human. Days or the unimaginable weeks off causes our work to be seen by an ever shrinking group of fans, and in a world where my livelihood is directly attached to new and old fans alike feeling compelled to support the creation of my art on Patreon, print sales, or attending workshops my fear is that less work to share will inevitably lead to less income, and this will become a self perpetuating cycle.
Still I am determined to ensure that this does not happen. I feel that maybe in producing less work I can make sure that each piece I do finish is more compelling, more moving, and more inspiring than the sum of creating many.
I just want to thank all of you who have supported me, and I hope that you all will stay with me on this journey.
Comments
Stand fast. We will be there until the end.
Narib Eormon
2019-12-21 23:26:09 +0000 UTC100% real. Quality > Quantity every time. The pendulum will shift toward that ideal again soon enough. There will come a limit to the amount of “new” content people can digest given the sheer volume of repetition of the same kinds of imagery, setting, subject, color, editing style, etc. Having work that stands out by connecting with people on a real human level is what will transcend the bullshit and rise above the noise - in my opinion anyway. Perhaps a slightly biased and hopeful world view, but I do retain hope that enough people will support you to keep doing what you love. Also, consider that there are many avenues of seeking a living using a camera and they don’t have to line up with your passion projects. You can do high dollar commercial work with your level of skill very easily, which will pay for adventures of the heart. Just to reassure you - there’s a vine to grab after this one. Many of them. Even consider wearing hats of every kind in order to support your art and removing the need to specialize and niche yourself to death satisfying the needs of the mass nonsense of social media. There’s a healthy balance to find - even if it’s more of a teeter totter (to quote a wise friend).
Natalie Manning
2019-12-20 09:24:29 +0000 UTC
