Vampire Boyfriend: Oleander (rough draft)

Hard times are hard, especially when surmounting student loan debt is with it. Who knew wanting to be a drama teacher was such a bad idea? I thought it would be fun. Unfortunately schools are laughing at the idea of hiring drama teachers as arts get passed over time and time again. By this point after earning my degree, I’m used to it. I’ve found jobs, I’ve memorized interviews so I go on charming autopilot, and I’ve submitted and submitted and forced my resume into every available school I can. For now, I’ll live with hard times.

Currently, I am working two jobs. One during the day where I work in a party store, then one during the weekends where I go to parties dressed as whatever princess is requested of me. I try to cheer myself up by reassuring myself I’m doing something that’s at least akin to theatre. But sometimes it’s difficult to avoid the writing on the wall.

For the past few years, this was my life; submitting resumes, getting my foot in the door, and putting my foot into uncomfortable shoes ranging from clear plastic to wooden clogs. I had convinced myself that this was okay and that I would be fine doing it for as long I needed to. Once I got into the comfort of settling, that’s when I got the most amazing call.

I still have two jobs, working as a party princess and now I am a theatre professor for the Willow Art School. It was close to the Hephaestus Academy, so the campus had become quite popular and was growing. I really don’t remember sending my resume to this school, then again I sent so many. Luckily, it was still close by, so I didn’t have to move too far. It didn’t matter to me how meager my new apartment was, or that I still had to work two jobs to afford it. What mattered most to me is that I was finally able to work my dream job. I know that it isn’t glamorous to want to be a theatre teacher, but it’s what my dad did. He taught band and theatre and he made them both seem like the most magical of experiences. I was ready for this, I had my syllabus planned out when I was fourteen. I even had my hopes high on the first production I wanted to put on.

I am so ready for my first class it isn’t funny, the only problem is, though, I only had a handful of students. Apparently, I was not told that the previous theatre professor was so very hated here on campus and the theatre program was all but abandoned because of him. The few students I have are only there because they think it’ll be an easy A with the new teacher.

“You just have to get through your first semester. Once the students realize you’re not a piece of shit like Kirkman was, you’ll get some authentically interested students lined up.” Urata was the head of the art department at Willow, as well as a professor. He’s my boss, but since we met, I’ve considered him a friend and mentor even. He was also an Oni.

“That’s just the thing, what am I supposed to do with this semester? I can’t blow it off. I have to actually work, show progress. I have to show I’m worth the time and effort to the higher ups here.”

Urata smirks. “You know I am one of them.”

“Sure, but how far can you throw me and my pathetic first class to impress the others?” I slouch back in my chair, scratching at my scalp. My scalp always feels tingly and itchy when I’m aggravated. Probably because I associate it with wearing a bad wig. “Not only that, I have to figure out how to get costumes, where to build sets. I also have to figure out a production I can do with five disinterested people.”

Urata tilts his head to the side. “If you want to vent, I can take you out for drinks tonight. If you want solutions, I could suggest to you someone on campus.”

“Someone on campus?” I sit up. “There’s a magic person who can do all these things?”

Urata nods, and the look on his face seems to be taking me in. As if he’s assessing if I am good enough to know this privy information. “Not all of them, but at least one who can help you with the costume dilemma. He works here part time during the evening classes, so you’d be able to catch him before his classes start and yours end. He teaches a gemology class.”

I can’t help but smirk a little. “Gemology is a real thing? I thought that was something fancy used to sell products on QVC.”

“It’s real and it’s a science. He teaches it for our jeweler curriculum. Teaches the sciences as well as how to make beautiful jewelry. His display last year for the graduation gallery were some of the best works of art we’ve seen here.” He takes a business card from his desk. “Oleander Baudelaire is his name.”

I take the card, looking over the information printed there. The card is quite plain, to my surprise. “But what does a gemologist have to do with my horribly lacking wardrobe department?”

Urata tilts his chin up. “He makes his own clothes.”

I arch a brow. “Is there a reason?”

Urata sighs and leans forward onto the table with his elbows. “Oleander doesn’t exactly fit into most clothes that are readily available for purchase.”

“Is he a robot?”

Urata chuckles. “No, he’s just very tall.”

I give Urata a once over. He’s burying the lead here, or at least trying to figure out if I’m going to react well. “How tall? Because you’re a big guy yourself, Urata, but I can tell that you’re wearing Moschino.”

“Oleander is taller than me, much taller. Like...we had to remodle the doorways in the STEAM building kind of tall.”

“A giant?” I say with a flash of inspiration in my mind.

Urata gives me a look. “He’s shy about it, a touch self concious. “I’m only telling you because you’re desperate and I don’t think you would purposefully hurt his feelings.”

I shrug and put the card into my back pocket. “To be fair, I’m 5’2 so everyone is taller than me.”

“Just try to act cool when you first see him. He usually goes to the teacher’s lounge in the STEAM building before he starts class, you can probably catch him there.” Urata looks at his phone. “Sorry, friend of mine needs some help at his new apartment. I’ll have to talk to you later. Let me know if there is anything else that comes up, Holly.”

“Will do.” I sigh and return back to my sack lunch.

That evening I head over to the STEAM building. I’m happy to find cinnamon buns waiting by the coffee pot, so I sit down and help myself to what will probably be the brunt of my dinner as all I have at home was ramen packets and velveeta cheese. These are good bean bag chair cinnamon buns, too, so one should fill me up.

“Good afternoon, Professor Baudelaire.”

I look up with a cinnamon bun shoved into my mouth like a snake with an unhinged jaw. I am glad my mouth is full, though, as the man who walks into the room makes my jaw drop. Urata was right, I wasn’t prepared for this level of tall, this level of behemoth man. If anyone looked like they were about to go to war bare fisted with Atilla the Hun and Alexander the Great, it was this man.

It took my brain some time to unscramble from this walking mountain vision to realize, not only was he tall, he was a vampire. So in my head, I had already accepted at some point he fought some conquering warlord. He’s dressed nicely, which reminds me why I am here. I study his clothes, seeing they’re neat, clean, and beautifully made. He notices me then, red eyes focusing then shyly turning away. He walks over to a row of lockers where he opens one.

I sit there on the sofa, forgetting I look like a toddler trying to ingest a whole cake. I finish off my bite and wipe the gooey icing from my mouth. “Hello!”

He stiffens and slightly turns. “Good evening.” His voice is nice, very soft and gentle with a hint of rasp.

I know I need to think of something to say, something to strike up a conversation with him. I need to break the ice, I have to prove I’m not just some greedy goblin eating cinnamon buns.

“You’re the new theatre professor, right?” he asks.

I nod, grateful he’s the one to start. “Yes! That’s me! Professor Holly Bush.” He looks at me strangely, most people do when they hear my name spoken outloud. I can only be grateful during these times that my father’s last name wasn’t ‘Wood’. “I know, my parents didn’t think it out too well.”

“Well, at least your family’s last name isn’t Wood,” he replies.

I break out into a huge grin and clap my hands together. “I say that!”

A slight smile appears on his lips then he turns back to his locker.

“Actually, uhm-” How do I strike up this topic. “Urata actually said I should come and talk to you, but if you’re busy-”

“Urata?” He turns as he slips on a snuggly looking cardigan. My god his arms are longer than power lines! How does he exist in the real world? “What about?”

“I’m struggling,” I confess. “I wasn’t left much in the theatre department. I didn’t find out until recently the last guy was kind of a piece of shit.”

“He was a piece of shit. So I’m not surprised you don’t have much.” He then sighs. “This is because I can sew, isn’t it?”

I look at him apologetically and nod.

“I’m not a costume designer. I mean, I can make most anything, but I’ve never had to make clothes for theatre before.”

“I don’t have much money, but I am willing to pay. And I only have five students right now, so I wouldn’t need many costumes as is. I’m sorry, I’ve only just met you and I’m asking for help like this.” I then hold out my hand to him. “Let’s try this again. Hello, nice to meet you, I’m Holly.”

Oleander looks at my hand, an almost shy glint to his eye. He takes my hand and I could swoon at the difference in our palm size. “Very nice to meet you, Holly, I’m Oleander. But you can call me Ollie, if you’d like.”

I start to giggle. “Holly and Ollie, we could be a cartoon. We both have plant names too,” I say with a smile.

He smiles back. “That’s right.”

“Maybe it would be best to discuss this at a later time. Maybe over coffee or-” I stop myself. “Or somewhere you can enjoy.”

Oleander seems surprised. “There’s a bakery a friend of my runs, we could always meet there. Red Velvet Confections.”

I take out his card and write the name down on it. “Oh yeah, Urata gave me this. So it’s okay if I send you a text?”

If vampires could blush, I could swear he was then. “Sure, go ahead.”

“Okay, great!” I cheer. “I look forward to talking to you, Ollie. Have a good night.”

“You too.”

Rather than leave, I sit back down to finish off the cinnamon bun. I earned it by setting this up.

I set up the meeting for that weekend on Sunday evening just after he got up for the day. The bakery is vampire owned and run, feature confections for both humans and vampires alike. The interior was all red and black, certainly suiting the little Goth child in me. I wasn’t sure where to sit that would fit him, so I decided to look through all the cases and day dream about what I would get if I had the money.

Behind me the door opens and then there’s a thud. Turning around, I see Oleander ducking in the doorway and holding his forehead.

“Uh oh, you okay?” I quickly head over to him.

“It’s fine,” he sighs. “Used to it.” He rubs his forehead a little before lowering his arms back down. He really is a level of tall I’ve never seen before. I feel like I need a step ladder just to have a decent conversation with him. I feel awful having to crane my neck up to look at him.

“I haven’t gotten a table yet, I wanted to make sure you’d be comfortable.”

Again he looks surprised. “It’s hard to find somewhere I can fit, you didn’t need to wait on me.”

“Nah, it’s okay. I figured if you wanted, we could walk to the park from here. But apparently there was some sort of battle there a few days ago or something so part of it’s roped off.” I give him another smile. “So all my plans seem moot.”

His smile is gentle and his long white lashes make me jealous. “There’s a half booth we can sit at in the back. That’s where I usually go when my sweet tooth is particularly hungry.”

I want to ask him so desperately about this. As someone with several sweet teeth, I’ve always been curious what sort of appetites vampires hold. “I don’t mean to sound offensive, but vampires have sweet tooths?”

He chuckles. “Some things never die.”

This information makes me extremely happy, and less nervous to become a vampire should that option ever arise. As a Goth baby, it was all I ever wanted. Well that or to date Elvira.

“Have you ordered anything?” Oleander asks as he approaches the counter.

I shake my head. “I’d like to, but I’m still scrimping away from the move.”

He points to the menu. “What would you like?”

I’m flattered and so very, very tempted, but I’m afraid I can’t indulge. “No, no, seriously, don’t worry. I really should be buying you this since I’m trying to ask you a favor. It wouldn’t feel right.”

“Go ahead, I don’t mind. I’ll feel guilty eating alone.”

That goes right to my head, I need to push some thoughts away. “Uhm uh...I suppose the cinnamon dolce cappuccino sounds good. And the uhm-” My eyes fall to a delicacy in the case. A cluster of petite fours that came four to a pretty little box. It looked exactly like something a princess would eat and I wanted it.

“The petite four quad,” I say, afraid I’m going to look silly for wanting it.

“Two of those then,” he says to the girl at the register.

My cheeks are burning, this almost feels like a date the way he’s treating. But it’s not, it’s a discussion between two educators. It’s professional, nothing more. After we get our order, he shows me to the booth. I sit on the booth side while he takes the chair. It’s a bit small for him, but he can at least turn so his legs are facing outwards.

“Thank you for the treat.” I’m so excited about the petite fours. I haven’t had any since a tea party I hosted as Alice from Alice in Wonderland. I just hope these are better than those were.

“It’s rare I get to treat someone,” he admits. “I don’t often get invited out much.” His drink looks creamy and red, almost like a red velvet cake melted in his cup.

“Well, I’ll invite you out again if only to pay you back for tonight.” I take a sip of my cappuccino and I am so happy.

We are both silent for a short pause. Each enjoying our drink and one of the divine sweets. He looks at me, his red eyes darting from my hands to my face then to the drink in my hand. “So, costumes.” He starts off shyly.

I nod, setting aside my drink unaware I have the biggest foam mustache on right now. “Yes. There’s no wardrobe to speak of. I think the old professor must have cleaned it out when he was fired. I’m really hoping I can find a way to work with you, or at least find a way to build it back up.”

His smile is enchanting, lips tinted red from his drink, his eyes crinkled, his cheeks almost rosy. He even chuckles softly.

I worry I may be blushing too much. This is supposed to be about work. A business meeting! I wasn’t supposed to fall like I am. “Did I say something?”

He swipes his finger across his upper lip. “Your cappuccino betrays you.”

I grunt and take a napkin to my face. “Of course, when I am trying to have a polite conversation,” I grumble. “Well, now that I’ve shaved.”

Oleander laughs again. “Sorry, you’re funny, it’s not the uhm-” He touches his upper lip again then laughs even more.

I smile, enjoying seeing him laugh. His big size betrays how sweet he really is. “Go ahead, laugh. It’s part of my job.”

He looks a touch confused. Once he hears the truth I’m sure he’ll be even more confused. “You mean as a teacher?”

I shake my head. I do enjoy playing the princess at parties. In the timeline of my life I was a horse girl, then a princess girl, then a goth girl, then a theatre kid. Being a party princess lives out a few childhood dreams from a few of those periods. But sometimes it’s hard to explain and some people think it’s more hilarious than anything. “I have a weekend job. You know like how birthday parties have clowns and stuff, that’s me. Except it’s usually as a princess.”

His eyes widen slightly. “You play a princess for parties?”

“Party princess, that’s me.” I chuckle. “It uses some of my theatre knowledge, so it isn’t too bad. Pays well.” I take a sip of my drink again, careful that I don’t gain more foam facial hair.

“I bet you’re cute as a princess.” He says this then looks a little surprised by his own words. It was like he spilled the milk, so to speak.

I’m often called cute due to my stature and baby face, so it doesn’t hit me at first. But once I see his guilty expression I have to wonder; is he flirting with me? I don’t know how to do it. I used to flirt in my Goth days by throwing plastic bats at the people I liked. “I bet you’re cute as a princess.” What did I say?

“I doubt I’d fill out a dress well,” he says shyly. He hides himself by taking a drink then eating another sweet.

“Never say never.” I drink again if only to shut myself off. “We’re getting off topic. Costumes!”

“Costumes,” he laughs.

“Costumes.” I take a deep breath.

“It’s okay if you’re nervous around me, I’m used to that as much as I am doorframes,” he sighs. “It comes with the landscape of my being.”

“Oh no,” I blurt. “It’s not that at all, Ollie. I’m just like this!”

He smirks. “I thought theatre people were supposed to be outgoing.”

“On stage! But off the stage, I’m an absolute mess.” I smile at him. “I’m barely above five feet tall, I’m used to the world looking down at me. You’re just one more tall person next to a million to me.”

“I wish that’s what I was,” he sighs sadly. “But anyways, do you know what you’re going to be needing costumes for in the future?”

“Maybe Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf, but I don’t think this class would be able to handle it. So I’m still thinking it out, maybe a fairy tale or something easy.”

“Get to know your students first is what I suggest. Who knows, maybe they’re more apt than you give them credit for.” He takes a drink. “But if it’s costumes you need, I’d be happy to help. I just have one request.”

“Sure, what’s that?” I ask.

The sly smile on his lips betrayed him. He knew what he was doing and what was going to happen to me. “You have to help me make them.”

“Easy, done!” I say excitedly. This could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship. Hopefully I don’t sew myself into anything. “I’ve never sewed anything before, so you may regret having a newbie on hand.”

He finished off his drink, which does not surprise me. I bet he could finish a big gulp in two gulps. “No worries, I’m a teacher, it’s what I do. Although, I’m more used to teaching jewelry making techniques than costume design.”

“I’d love to see some of your work. Urata told me your end of year display was one of the best.”

He smiles demurely again. “I pride myself on it. The clothes I make are for me alone, but the jewelry I make with my students is something that I share with the world. I don’t have anything on campus right now since it’s the start of a new semester. But I can always send you pictures.”

“Sounds good. I’m particular to rubies since they’re my birth stone. Pearls too.”

The smile on his face goes from shy to pleased. “I actually have a personal piece I made that I call the ‘Cream and Wine’ that’s made from only pearls and rubies. It’s in my safe box at the bank though, I’d have to go get it.”

I beam, he really seems to enjoy talking about his jewelry. “I hope to see it one day!”

I save two of the petite fours for later. It’s better to save them than indulge all at once. Plus the package looks so pretty sitting on my counter. I sit down to figure out what play I could do for this semester but when it gets too frustrating I get a message for my other job. A family is planning a Beauty and the Beast party for their son and they were wanting you as Beauty. But there was a hitch, they needed a Beast too. This was a conundrum. I worked alone, and not in the diva sort of way. I just never worked with anyone before aside from a clown or something. But I was alone in my company. The family was offering such a massive amount for there to be Beauty and Beast. But where would I find a willing Beast? Maybe I had a student who needed the extra cash too.

I was getting ready to head to bed when a message popped up on my phone. It was from Oleander.

“I know it’s late, but what are you doing this weekend?”

Is this another chance to flirt? Another chance to succumb to the charming wiles of the giant vampire prince? I really need to stop watching princess movies. “I’m still unpacking and cleaning. I’m also going to try and put together a wardrobe of my princess gowns.”

“I got concerned for a moment. I forgot you played a princess on weekends.”

“I play fake princesses on weekends. I am a princess always.” I then hate myself as soon as I hit send. “Ignore me. I’m tired and soaring on those treats earlier.”

“Understandable. I was only asking because I thought I could show you a tip or two on how to use a sewing machine.”

“I would rather do that than put together the wardrobe if I’m being honest.”

“Fair. I usually get out of bed around five. How does six sound?”

I smile. “Only if you’re not worried after the princess comment.”

“I’ll be wary but I think it’s okay.” He then sends another message immediately after. “Sorry, I forgot to ask. I have cats. You’re not allergic are you.”

My little goth heart was set aflame. A handsome, tall, jewelry making vampire who also has cats? He’s a coworker though so I need to calm my single ass. “Do you have any black cats?”

“All of them are black except one.”

“Perfect. They’re my favorite! I used to have a black cat named Morticia.”

“How funny, I have one named Gomez.”

Oh no, he’s too good. “That’s amazing! I’m excited to meet your cats.”

“I’ll send you my address then. Maybe I’ll see you around campus until then.” We teach on opposite ends of the campus, not to mention at opposite hours. What with his evening schedule and my morning one, it seemed unlikely. But I decide it’s best to remain optimistic rather than pessimistic about it.

School on Monday proceeds as usual. My small class of five still isn’t as eager to participate as I had hoped. Perhaps if I find the right play they will be more eager to put themselves into the classwork. Most of them are only taking the class for an easy grade, which seems ridiculous to me since their grade hinges on the stage production. Anyways, after that class is done, I go to have lunch with Urata.

“You made an impression with Oleander,” he says as we take our seats. “He messaged me to tell me he likes you.”

“You’re firing me, aren’t you?”

Urata laughs and shakes his head. “You two are in different departments, as long as it doesn’t result in any sort of confrontation on campus you’re safe. I just thought I should tell you.”

I lean on the table towards him. “I don’t mean to sound totally high school about this, but does he mean like or like-like.”

Urata can’t help but chuckle. “I’m not answering you when you talk like that, Holly. I think you can piece it together like an adult.”

“I thought that was flirting. I just wasn't sure.” I smile to myself. “He said he’d help me with costumes, I just have to help make them.”

“Have you ever done that before?” Urata asks.

I shake my head. “I either got costumes made elsewhere, rented them, borrowed from friends, thrifted. Never had to make an entire garment before.”

“What about your side hustle?” He teases.

“What I own I bought from cosplayers,” I say with a shrug. “They stopped teaching home economics before I even got into high school, so I don’t even know how to stitch.”

“He’s a good teacher, so I don’t doubt he can’t teach you a thing or two. But it is depressing to hear such classes aren’t being taught anymore.”

“I still don’t know what taxes are.” I’m half joking.

Urata smirks. “I’ve known Oleander a long time. He’s a good friend. He’s shy because of his height, so I’ve not known him to date much. And when he does, it’s usually...let's just say it’s on the side of not good. So I’m going to play the big brother role and tell you to treat him well or I’ll kick your butt.”

I hold up my phone. “As my boss, can you do that or should I record this conversation?”

His stern expression melts and he smiles again. “As your friend and his friend, I am telling you that he’s been hurt a lot and, if you hurt him, that hurts me. So if you’re attracted to him, make sure it’s because of who he is, not what he is.”

“That’s beautiful, Urata,” I say in amazement. But it also makes me think. I kept thinking of Oleander as the tall vampire, maybe I was guilty as well of liking him for the what rather than the who. The two of us did seem to share a common brain cell, he was very sweet, he made me laugh. I liked his smile so much it made my heart sputter. I really need to think before I see him again.