Rakshasa Girlfriend: Safiya (complete)

    My garden is now a graveyard, where I had once grown barley there are now the bodies of friends and family. Where I had grown my melons and gourds, there are those who could not be identified but were the family of Bastat all the same. These days, I have nightmares more about the future than what happened that night.

    “You need to drink something, Safiya, you’ve been working so hard all day.” Tiye has been working tirelessly. Her husband and wife have both been helping and building new homes. For people who have so much, I am shocked by how much they are willing to give.

    I take the cup of water from her and sip it slowly. 

    “I am so sorry about your garden,” she whispers. 

    “I am not,” I whisper. “If I could provide homes to my people, then all the better. At least I will know where to find them when I need them.”

    Tiye sighs and turns to the garden. “I always looked forward to your melons. They were always the best that Bastat could provide.”

    I smile softly. “That will not change. I promise. The only thing that will change is the location.” I kneel back down by the ground and lay my hand over one of the smaller mounds. “The purpose of this ground was set before we were born.”

    Tiye lifts her head and gazes out over everything. Bastat has been cleared and efforts to rebuild have begun. There are so few of us now and concerns have risen that Bastat could vanish all together. Our numbers are few, and there are more women and children than men.

    Othet sent out word, hoping to find one of the nomadic tribes of Sabertooths. There had been concerns over this. We had no idea how the nomadic tribes would act or if they were even friendly. Othet seemed hopeful in his ideas that if we could get one of the nomadic tribes to join us, we could save Bastat. In his mind if we offered a permanent home to them, they would settle and we could combine and multiple. If not, Bastat was doomed.

    The outpouring of kindness from others has been overwhelming. I suppose on part of the Rakshasa Royal court, people have been trying to get into Dhaval’s good favor. As such, money, supplies, and extra hands have been donated to help rebuild Bastat. 

    One such man is a wealthy trader who deals in fine arts and the spices of the Rakshasa. Benjamin Tull who I have dealt with him many times. He would buy the seeds from my garden as well as my dried gourds and sell them to the highest bidder. In return he brought me more seeds to plant and had even help repair the aqueduct when it was damaged.  

    Benjamin was energetic and charismatic and often called Bastat the place of his dreams. He had visited Bastat often, not just for trade purposes, but to relax and vacation. He refused to build a home here, preferring to give money for his stays so as not to disrupt the balance of Bastat.

    He had come to Bastat after learning of the massacre. Benjamin brought with him supplies to rebuild, so much so we would have more houses than we needed. He had also brought clean water, oils, and dried foods to last us. One evening, he came to me and handed me a box. Inside there were smaller boxers lined up and stacked neatly, each containing different seeds.

    “If anyone is going to grow something here, it’s you.” He told me.

    Benjamin has been working day in and day out and anytime something is needed he is the first to offer his services. He’s been amazing, he always was though.

    I leave the garden and go to the cave where the children are being looked after. So many no longer have families, let alone homes. Those who are still alive have stepped forward to claim some of the children. I was lucky, even if most of my family died my daughter, Zizi, survived. She was saved by Czarina Mila and kept hidden in the cave while the massacre happened. I had agreed to take in her best friend Anouke, and I would take in more if I had to.

    As I arrive to the cave I see Benjamin inside. He’s sharing candies with the children, passing out handfuls that make everyone squeal with delight. It is the first time I have seen such excitement with the children in so long.

    “Mama! Mama!” Zizi runs up to me, handing me one of the small wrapped candies. “Here. Try one. They’re so good.”

    I smile, recognizing the candy very well. “Don’t eat too many. I don’t want you getting sick now.”

    Benjamin grins, standing up and walking over towards me. His long black hair falls off his shoulder and his shirt is unbuttoned, showing off the dark pelt on his chest. “I needed a break,” he replies and looks back in on the kids. “Needed some smiles.”

    I nod and watch Zizi collect the wrappers from the ground. She was always crafty, so as she pocketed empty wrappers I knew she had some sort of plan in mind.

    “I think we do.” I smile softly at him. I touch his cheek and wipe my paw along his forehead. “You’re getting so dark.”

    He holds my wrist and kisses my paw. “All this sun. I’m not worried about it.”

    I pull my paw back and look around. “You can’t do that here.”

    He furrows his brow at me then gazes back into the cave. “I’m sorry. I know.”

    I fold my hands together and follow his gaze into the cave. “We can’t do this, Benjamin. Not now.”

    Benjamin glances back at me. “No one will know. But I know Safiya. That’s what matters.” He looks at Zizi and smiles. “It’s just when I see you I remember all those stolen nights together.”

    I frown and nod. “Yes. I am aware.”

    “That one blessed night stands out,” he whispers as his eyes sparkle. “I never forget that feeling.”

    I look at him and glare. “It is best you forget them now and put it all behind you. I must place myself fully behind Bastat now. I have to help rebuild.”

    “I can still love you, even if you have to do that.” He touches my cheek and I lean into it. “I’ll always love you Fifi.”

    I nuzzle to his hand a second longer before stepping away. “Zizi,” I call out weakly as I walk into the cave. “Why are you picking up all those wrappers?” I tried to focus on her and push the memories of Benjamin away.

    From the moment we first met well over ten years ago, we were pulled to one another. For years we carried on our heated and passionate affair, making love until the sun came up and stealing more moments in between. I had never met a man with so much vigor and intensity. Every time we made love it was like it was to be his last.

    When I became pregnant with Zizi, Benjamin was so happy. He was so excited and he loved her right away. We both agreed to keep her parentage secret as my father absolutely hated outsiders in Bastat. Now more than ever it is something that must stay hidden. No matter what our feelings for each other may be, we no longer could hold them as dearly as we did.

    That evening after I tucked Zizi and Anouke into bed there was a knocking at the door. I stepped outside, seeing Benjamin standing there. His hair was wet and he looked freshly washed.

    “What is it?” I ask.

    “I was wondering if you could brush my hair for me?” He smiles and I want him so badly. “Like you used to.”

    “Benjamin I don’t think-” he presses his finger to my lips. 

    “Please, Fifi?” He whispers. “One last stolen moment?”

    I sigh and walk with him to his tent. He sits down and I stand behind him, combing out his long, beautiful hair. 

    “It’s gotten so long,” I murmur.

    “I never cut it,” Benjamin says proudly. “Not after you said how much you liked it long.”

    I scoff. “You cannot honestly tell me you have kept it this way for so long because of something I said after you had made me see stars?”

    Benjamin’s proud smile becomes smug. “That is when you are most honest.”

    I pop his cheek playfully. “Do you not get hot with so much?”

    “I’ve been hairy since I was thirteen. I’ve learned to adapt,” he laughs. He glances up at me. “And what about you? Fluffy butt?”

    I scowl at him. “Don’t say that! I hate that!”

He throws his head back and laughs and I yank at his hair. “Ow! Easy now, Fifi. You know I’m tender.”

I take to combing his hair again. “I know. You can barely stand a little nibble.”

“Your teeth are scary. I don’t care how beautiful and ravishing you are. Those chompers still make me worry.” Benjamin sighs and glances aside. “Everyone here is so strong. I wonder where you find it.”

I tie his hair back and take a seat beside him. “It’s becoming harder and harder to find it.” My voice cracks as I speak. “Everyday it feels like there is less and less in the well. I’m afraid that when I find dust I will not be able to stand anymore.”

Benjamin takes hold of my hand and kisses it. “Whatever I can do, I will do it for you. If you want my blood I’ll give it. If you need my bones you shall have them. If I must support you with my love alone then I will give you all of it.”

I turn and look at him, overcome by my own desire for him we kiss. I press close against his body and hold his face between my hands. I then force myself away, pushing back and standing from my seat.

“I can’t. I can’t. I just can’t!” I cover my face with my hands.

Benjamin sighs and hangs his head. “Bastat is more important. I know this.” He stands up and puts his hands on my shoulders. “You have to do what is right for your people. And if I have to leave so you don’t suffer for it, I will.”

I glance back at him as tears fall down my cheeks. “You love Bastat as much as I do.”

“I love you,” he whispers and wipes my cheeks. “I love our Zizi.” He wraps his arms around me and holds me fast. “You have a duty here. Bastat needs more of you and Zizi in it. Even if there is less of me.”

I hold tight to him. “I wish there wasn’t.”

Benjamin chuckles and steps back to look at me. “I prefer Bastat over myself. That’s why I’m here giving every cent I have to assure Bastat stands as wonderful and proud as the first I laid eyes on it.” He kisses me again and quickly moves away. “If the nomads come, perhaps you will find someone there.”

The very idea of it rips at my soul. “No-” I whimper.

Benjamin smiles. “Maybe, if you do,” he coaxes, “you’ll let me watch?”

I throw my head back and snort, slowly laughing and shoving at him. I beat at his chest as he laughs. “You crude! Vulgar! Wonderful man!” I throw my arms around him and kiss him again. “How do you do it? How do you pull me from the brink every time?”

Benjamin kisses my cheek. “I know you too well, Fifi. How am I ever supposed to learn another woman the way I learned you?”

“The darkest parts of me hopes you never do. But the better parts of me know you’ll find someone who will love you and take you even if you are disgusting.”

    In the morning the girls and I are woken by the sound of horns in the distance. I rise from bed and the girls follow me outside the tent. I see figures on the horizon and my gut turns to stone.

    “Mama, what are they?” Zizi clings to my leg and I place my palm on top of her head.

    “I’m not certain,” I whisper. I turn, seeing Benjamin coming through the crowd towards us. He picks up Anouke who is crying and holds her to his chest.

    He gives me a severe stare then glances back to the figures standing in the light of the sunrise. “It’s the nomads.”

    “What?” I gasp.

    “Othet and some of the others are going to meet with them now.” He rubs Anouke’s back as she cries. “Chiyo has said for outsiders to stay inside their tents. We don’t know how the nomads will act to us, let alone Bastat.”

    I shake my head. “I can’t believe it,” I whisper. “I can’t believe they’re here.”

    Benjamin and I go back into the tent with the girls. “I knew they would.” Benjamin smiles at me. “Because Bastat is worth saving.”

    Othet and the others are gone for hours. During this time no one works or does anything. We all stay in our tents, afraid that one wrong move could frighten or even anger the nomads. We had known of their existence, had even seen some faint traces of them from time to time. But we had never met with them face to face. At least not for centuries. The nomads chose to travel the desert, following the pollen from the flowering cactus as it led them by the wind to the next place the cactus would bloom. Bastat had been founded by these wanderers ages ago. They had come to the oasis and decided to make it a place of worship and revelry. 

    That evening, torches came down from the hills. Othet and the others were leading the chief of the nomads and a few of his men down to where the massacre occurred. From a distance, we watched as the chief kneeled and bowed his head onto the ground. He prayed and gave offering, weeping loudly before he rose to his feet again.

    The chief was tall and lean, as were the men with him. Their fur is darker than ours as well and grows in thicker tufts around the neck and down the back. Othet leads them into the tent village where they sit down at the bonfire. 

    I go into the tent where Benjamin is sitting with the girls. I find the dried gourds that Benjamin had brought to me and gather them up.

    “Stay here,” I tell Benjamin as well as Zizi and Anouke. “I’ll be right back.” 

    “Safiya!” Benjamin tries to chase me down, but I leave the tent before he can stop me.

    I walk to the well and fill the gourds with water. I then go to the bonfire where Othet and the nomads are talking. They go silent as they look at me and I present the full gourds to them. I don’t speak, in fact I’m afraid to. I hold the gourds to them and the chief stands. He approaches me and bows his head.

    “These gourds were grown here in Bastat.” My voice is quiet and low. “I grew them.” I hold them up further. “Please, take them.”

    The chief takes a gourd and passes it back to one of his men. He then takes the other and looks up at me. “Will you still grow now that all has been taken?”

    “I still have seeds,” my voice cracks. “And all is not gone from us. We still have more than the eye can see.”

    The chief smiles at me. “Join us,” he offers. 

    I glance to Othet who nods and I come to sit at the fire with him at the nomads. To my surprise I learn the chief is not much older than I am, and the two men with him are his brothers. They tells us that recently an illness had struck their tribe and they had been stranded where they were, unable to move as so many of them were sick. They said that they thought the word they received from us was a blessing, a chance to heal and recover as well as returning the favor, all in the same breath. The chief, Sebek, seemed just as desperate to help his people as we were. 

    “I am terrified,” Sebek says, “that I am not afraid to admit. My people are suffering and if I cannot find a way to help them then we are lost. Finding we have brothers who are also suffering is a comfort to me. If we can save one another, then perhaps our worlds were meant to join since the beginning.”

    “What must we do?” Othet asks. “If there is something we can do to help you now, then let’s discuss it. How do we reach your people and bring them here?”

    “It took us two nights to get here,” Sebek answers. “And it will take many men and carts to retrieve our people and transport those of us who are sick.”

    “We can provide that.” Othet nods gently. “We have people here who would be more than willing to help. They are not of Bastat though.”

    Sebek glances to his brothers and then looks back to Othet. “You keep outsiders here?” 

    “My wife, my Chiyo, she is not from Bastat. But she was raised here and will probably die here. And there are others, and they may not be from Bastat, but they are giving their all to see that it does not fade away so easily.” Othet steels his gaze. “I understand if you have your reservations. But know that these people are here to help us.”

    Sebek’s brother, Sut, raises his eyes. “Most of us have never seen someone from the outside. Some of our people would be afraid.”

    “We can ask only those from Bastat to go,” I suggest. “That way, it will not be a shock for them if others suddenly appear. They will be made aware during the journey.”

    Sut smiles at me. “Would you be willing to go as well?”

    “If I must,” I say with a nod. “Then I would be happy to go.” I look at Sut and smirk. “Just because we live in an Oasis, do not count us as soft.”

    Sut grins and laughs. “I would never say such a thing out loud.”

    I nod my head to him and give Sut a gentle smile. “I believe you. But sometimes eyes speak what the mouth does not.”

    Sebek nudges his brother and whispers something to him to which Sut becomes steely eyes and stiff again. 

    “Forgive my brother,” Sebek replies. “He has not yet been blessed by a woman.”

    “Few men are,” I reply.

    I return to the tent where I find Benjamin in bed with the girls asleep on either side of him. He sits up and looks at me expectantly. 

    “Well?” he urges.

    I sigh and sit down on the edge of the bed. “The tribe is sick and needs medicine. They’ve agreed to help us and in return we help them.”

    Benjamin’s smile is honest and lovely. “That’s great,” he whispers. “That’s so amazing! I’m so happy for you.”

    I nod. “I’m going to help bring the tribe here,” I murmur. “I need you to take care of Zizi and Anouke.”

    “You’re leaving?” Benjamin’s expression becomes grim.

    “I was asked to.” I look at Zizi and touch her cheek. “The people of the tribe have rarely ever seen outsiders. Sebek fears it could cause a shock. So Othet is gathering natives of Bastat to go and help bring them here.”

    Benjamin sighs and closes his eyes. “I understand. But I will worry.”

    I lean in and kiss him. “Thank you. I am blessed to have you in my life.”

    We gather what carts we can and together with Othet and many of Bastat’s best we travel into the desert with Sebek, Sut, and Shafra. During the journey, Sut stays close to me. He rides beside me and at night he sets up his tent beside mine.

    I am charmed by his innocent ways of flirting, but that is all I feel for him. He is tall and quite good looking, but my heart remains with Benjamin no matter how much I tell myself that Sut could provide a good match.

    “I have a daughter,” I tell Sut one day.

    “What is her name?” He asks. “I am uncle to five beautiful and wild girls. They are all my favorite.”

    “Her name is Zizi.” I smile at him and chuckle. “Sebek has five girls?”

    “His wife has five girls. She has Sebek for a husband as well Zamir.” Sut replies. 

    I furrow my brow. “She has two husband?”

    “There are more men than women in our tribe. It became custom long ago for women to have more than one husband.” Sut says nonchalantly. “It has proven to be bountiful to us. The men are cared for and the women thrive. If our mother had not had all boys, the firstborn daughter would have taken lead. Sebek is the first male chief in over a century.”

    “Oh wow,” I grin. “I am liking your tribe more and more Sut.”

    “I am liking you more and more,” he winks at me.

    Once we find the tribe we give out medicine that we had collected. Back in Bastat Chiyo was going to her sister to find doctors and bring back even more medicine. I loaded men, women, and children onto the carts. Sut took two of his nieces onto his horse with him and I couldn’t help but be impressed by how good he was with them.

    Once we returned to Bastat we helped the nomads adjust. Soon Chiyo returned with Mythri and doctors and the nomads were looked after and started to make their recovery. I took Sut to meet Zizi and Anouke and instantly he was smitten with them. 

    “I like you very much Sut,” I tell him. “But I must confess, there is a man I already love. But I know if I am to help Bastat thrive again, I must also be with someone like you.”

    “Is this man an outsider?” Sut asks.

    I nod. “He is. But he loves Bastat  as much as I do.”

    Sut leans in and kisses my forehead. “You already know it is not uncommon for the women of my tribe to have multiple husbands. I will welcome this man as a brother if you ever choose to welcome me as one of yours.”

    “I must say,” I sigh. “I feel horrible for how harshly I judged the nomads before I met you, Sut. I am blown away by you and yours peoples kindness.”

    “You best be lucky you found us and not some of the others.” Sut smirks at me. “There are some who are a bit more intense.”

    “Oh,” I gasp.

    Sut then smiles at me. “I would like to meet this love of yours.”

    I feel a wash of relief come over me and I place my hand over Sut’s. “I’d like for you to meet him too.”

    This isn’t the life I pictured, not even close, but it’s better than I hoped. And with any luck Benjamin will still be a part of all of it. And Sut is so kind, I cannot wait to see what there is for us.