Gnoll Boyfriend: Edragon (complete)

    I was six years old when my father was...you know what? Over the years I have called his death so many things. His murder. His assassination. Sanguis even told me once that my father deserved what he got.

    “People like your father deserve their deaths. Because in the end, their failure will destroy everything around them. Like a disease, it spreads so like a disease you squash the carrier. You father carried that with him, and so Mythri saw to snuff it out.”

    I hated her, Queen Mythri. I was never so sure why Sanguis adored her so much. Everyone did. All I ever felt when I heard her name was absolute hatred. The sound of it made bile crawl up my throat and burn my tongue. 

    My father had been working with Sanguis, he had been living in our home since I was very young. He always frightened me, but I was also fascinated by him. He has a charm around him, a mystery. Curiosity often gets the best of children, especially young boys. I was drawn to Sanguis and I wish I never had been. I wish I had listened to my father and just ignored him and left him alone.

    “But you work with him Papa,” I would argue.

    My dad’s face would pull into a strained mask of guilt and anger. He would look at me and I could see him grit his teeth to the point that should snap. “Just because I take him into my home means you get to play with him. You follow my rules son. Remember that. Stay away from that man and just leave him alone. He doesn’t need some annoying brat trailing around him.”

    All children love their parents, but at some point, they learn that their parents aren’t good people. You can love someone, but you may not like them either. I loved my father and I admired his work and how well he served Culuweth, but I didn’t like him. I never liked to be alone with him. After my mom died, I found no love in my home.

    Sanguis was strange, but at least he treated me with some form of affection. He gave me books to read, ones I greatly adored reading. High adventure stories with young heroes who I often pretended to be. Sanguis would play with me, he had even bought me a set of wooden toy soldiers. He was like the older brother I always wanted. He was nice to me and he showed me things about the world. 

    I was often alone in the house. Dad was gone a lot. Or maybe I should say he appeared in the house once in a while. Maybe once in a blue moon. It had gotten worse and rumors of war were spreading. Rumors of Bethsabe’s own imbalance had gotten out to the people. I had heard our staff talking and whispering, and one by one they started to leave. The people of Culuweth were abandoning their country on mass. I was left alone in that big house with only my toy soldiers as comfort.

    “My gods you’re still here.” The sound of Sanguis’ voice was music to my ears. I was just a child, barely eight years old. I was terrified and alone, abandoned to an uncertain future where the Rakshasa who were invading could have killed me. 

    Sanguis saved my life. He came back for me and took me away. We never left Culuweth. Instead, we traveled into the Berkset mountains where Sanguis and his Dragonborn brethren had been hiding. I was handed over to Reginald who at the time was healing from some nasty wounds. I was to help take care of him and in return he would see to my safety. 

    Reginald scared me. I had never seen someone so bloodied and horrid before. I had been kept sheltered by my father, even though he bolstered that I would become a soldier of Culuweth and lead wars. He never showed me this, he never let me gaze at the effects of war. Reginald was Sanguis showing me that war wasn’t a game that was to be played and mortal live weren’t little wooden soldiers.

    “Men and women are all just the same,” Reginald told me. “Don’t let anyone tell you differently or trick you into thinking someone else. They’re all capable. They’re all smart. They all have ways of tricking you into believing something or another. When you’re fighting for your life, they all bleed the same.” He placed the sword in my hand for the first time. “The special thing is knowing where to stick them, so they bleed the most.”

    I grew up in the Berkset mountains, so close and yet so far away from my home. I never knew what happened to my father or even what became of Culuweth when Sanguis took me away. It wasn’t until some time had passed that Sanguis took me aside to tell me everything.

    He sat me down in my room and looked into the small chest where I kept those toy wooden soldiers. He looked over them, noticing the usual wear that toys go through. Some dents and bumps, a chip here and there. The paint was fading away and some of the soldiers no longer had faces. He took one out of the box and rolled it around in his hands.

    “War takes many,” he told me. “War is blind and angry. There is nothing calculated about its wrath. It’s like a storm, just nature. War is man’s nature, man’s own storm.” He clenched the little wooden soldier in his fist and stood up. “It took Bethsabe and many of the people who stood at her feet.”

    “No,” I whimpered. “Bethsabe is dead?”

    Sanguis looked down at me with those dark eyes of his. “I’m sorry, but she’s gone. She’s been replaced and someone else is on the throne.”

    I was quiet for a long time. If Bethsabe was gone then my dad must surely be dead too. I was a child and I was hopeful still, even if I didn’t like my father. I was still just a little boy who knew nothing else and wanted his father to still be alive.

    “Edragon,” Sanguis knelt down and opened his palm to show me the wooden soldier. “Your father was captured by the Rakshasa and was put on trial by their queen.” He places the wooden soldier in my hand. “She fed him to a dragon.” He took my hand and closed it around the toy. “Your father is just one of many, but he is the kindling to the flame inside you.” He turned me to the fire. “Let those flames light the way to your future.”

    I looked at the little toy in my hand and back to the flames. Reluctantly I tossed the toy into the fireplace and watched as it lit and caught fire. Sanguis’ hands dug into my shoulders, making me stand there and watch as the toy burned away until it was nothing but ash.

    I was trained alongside Sanguis’ men. Reginald saw to it while Sanguis provided me with an education. I thought for the longest time what I had was good enough. Learning to serve Sanguis and avenging my people was all I wanted. I was happy to do, enthusiastic even. All I wanted was to make Sanguis proud. 

    I was never allowed to visit Culuweth. Whenever Sanguis sent Gnolls in to go gather supplies, I wasn’t ever allowed to go. He made up excuses about why he needed me to stay in Berkset. I always believed him, I trusted him. Why would Sanguis ever lie to me? I was young. Stupid. Gods was I so stupid.

    I thought that everything I was doing was for restoring the honor of Culuweth. So I went along with everything Sanguis told me. I assumed he and Reginald knew what was best for me, so I went along with everything. I was the good little boy doing what his family wanted. I just wanted to make Sanguis and Reginald proud of me.

    Eventually, I was given orders to go to Obresh. Apparently, a loyalist army of Bethsabe’s was still active near there. To me it was shocking. Bethsabe had died so long ago, who the hell would stay on like that? The General was someone I knew, someone I had met as a child. General Thanyx was a hero in Culuweth, learning he was alive and still fighting was a huge motivator for me. With someone like Thanyx on our side, the world would see that Sanguis is a force to be reckoned with.

    But I failed. I could not get Thanyx to join our side, instead he was taken back to Culuweth. I learned that the new Emperor of Culuweth, Nadeem, had taken him back in. I also discovered that Culuweth was thriving, it had not fallen to ruin after the death of Bethsabe like I had been lead to believe.

    I was...beyond angry. I threw a table and I pitched a fit. It was my first loss, and just one in a series of never-ending low blows. “How can you not be enraged?” I roared at him. “We needed Thanyx! His regard and honor was what we needed to make our efforts seem legit!”

       Sanguis was all to calm and I couldn’t understand why. “Are you saying we aren’t legit?” He asked me and his cool had me rattled.

“Of course not, my lord.”

Sanguis brushed his fingers along my cheek, making sure I knew how much his talons could hurt should he choose to use them. “It sure sounds like it.” His voice was becoming a threat.  “We don’t need an old soldier to make us look good. We have everything we need to do that.” He then laughed and I was certain I’d be in trouble. 

Sanguis tilted his head and stepped away from me. “Had I known you were putting so much faith in an old man I would have given you much closer council.”

   “No, my lord!” All I wanted was to make him proud. “It isn’t that. I respected Thanyx, my father respected-”

   “And your father died,” Sanguis’ voice was like knives. I could feel him cutting me with each well-chosen word. “Eaten. Gobbled. He was a mid-afternoon snack and no more than a toenail.”

   I had often imagined my father was eaten the way carrion birds feast. It had haunted my dreams and become vicious nightmares I had suffered all my life. “My father was a-”

“Impudent,” Sanguis hissed as he sauntered back towards me. “Trying. Rage-filled mongrel.” Sanguis was right in my face as he said this. “You are better than he ever was.” I couldn’t believe the words he was saying. It almost seemed too good to be true. 

“You are smarter, fairer, and more cunning than him.” He then smiled at me. “You are what we need to make our desires a bountiful effort.”

Not long after, I watched him die. He was stabbed clean through by the son of a woman who had killed my father. Not only that, they took Sanguis’ wife and child with them. Reginald had to carry me away as I was only filled with a white-hot seething rage. I was blinded by it. I just wanted the Rakshasa to die. All of them. I didn’t care. Men. Women. Children. I didn’t care at all. I just wanted them all to die.

Reginald filled me in on the plan. Now that Sanguis had a child, he would be able to be resurrected. We just needed to get the baby back. We did everything that Sanguis told us to do. He left us very detailed and explicit instructions that would lead to his resurrection. Once we got the baby and the blood of Dhaval, as well as a few selected others, he returned.

It was a traumatic vision for me. I had thought the nightmares of my father getting eaten and picked clean would be the worst of my dreams. But no. Watching Sanguis be born again replaced all of that. I can still hear the snapping and crackling of bone and cartilage. I can hear the ripping of flesh. He rose from the pool of blood on the ground like he was tearing his way out of hell. His screams were silent, but they were inside me. I could feel his screams and roaring inside my body. He was in my head. He was everywhere. He clawed at me, ripped me apart step by step as he became flesh again. My nose was bleeding when Sanguis stood before me fully formed. His body was all raw and pink and new and I felt far too old.

And then there was Bastat. I was...I was wrong. I watched all of Bastat burn. I watched women and children die. I got my wish. I had wanted all the Rakshasa to die. But I was wrong. I was so horribly and terribly wrong. And this was just a tiny oasis. This was nothing compared to what Sanguis had in mind. I knew then in Bastat that I no longer wanted what Sanguis wanted. I didn’t want to make him proud anymore. I wanted to run. I wanted to get as far away as possible.

So when Reginald was given Sothen again I asked to join him. Sanguis remained in Gravelmeuse and had taken Lord Jasper as his new bodyguard. I felt replaced, like I wasn’t good enough anymore. So I asked to go with Reginald.

“If that is what you think is right,” Sanguis replied after I laid out my request. “Although, I don’t really want you to go.”

“You have all you need here, my lord.” I was trying to keep a level head about this. I didn’t want him to know I was having doubts. I had seen him kill men for less. If he sensed any doubt within me I would be done for.

“I hope you don’t think I’m trying to replace you.” Sanguis shook his head. “Lord Jasper is insurance. He means nothing to me the way you do.”

“I feel I will better serve you in Sothen. Reginald will need me at some point,” I forced myself to laugh. “You’ll have to send me to him eventually, so I might as well just go and do that now.”

Sanguis sighed. “I suppose you’re right.” He stood up and walked down to me. He put his arms around me and embraced me.

I thought about how much I adored him when I was little. How much he meant to me and how I would follow him anywhere. He saved my life, he spared me from the Rakshasa. But did he? Did he do all those thing expecting nothing from me?

Sanguis stepped back and smiled at me. “You’ve grown up so much, Edragon. I trust your judgment.”

I left with Reginald, traveling to Sothen where he was taking rule again. He had once held Sothen, but Demir knocked him down. Since then, Sothen has served as the capital of the Unified Nations. Now, it is a symbol of what life once was.

“Something has gone wrong in you,” Reginald told me. “Ever since Sanguis came back, there has been something wrong.”

“Nothing wrong,” I answered. “Just different.”

Reginald laughed. “Even in Bastat, the place I thought you’d be happiest, you seemed to show no joy there. All your life you’ve hated Rakshasa and yet, when we took down that little oasis, you didn’t seem to feel anything except guilt.”

“Perhaps I’m still just a green little boy,” I laughed. “You know I’m not one for blood.”

Reginald scoffed. “True. I remember when you were just a sprout and going through the training.”

I was soon sent away again by Sanguis. He sent me to back to the Berkset mountains and send him a report about everything that is going on there. All I found on the outside were ashes and signs of thieves. I found nothing but ghosts there. The voices of those Sanguis had used, his Bloodborne, I could hear them screaming at me everywhere I went. I could feel their pain, their misery. All those years I had lived in Berkset I had known Sanguis’ plans. I knew what he was doing, the creatures he was creating. But I had assumed it was nothing. In my mind, they didn’t matter. They were nothing. 

But it was just like Reginald told me. We all bleed. We all suffer. We’re all the same. And these voices of the suffering, the Bloodborne created here, they reminded me how little it took for Sanguis to forget what makes us all human. So I left the Berkset Mountains without further investigating. 

I was returning to the port in Culuweth when I saw this beautiful girl at the docks. She had this, surly, ugly lion hanging around her. She was so cute and small, I couldn’t stop watching her. I will admit, I have had my fair share of women. Reginald told me there were nothing but trouble and to keep away from them. But I was helplessly pulled into the allure of women. I loved spending long nights in bed with them. I loved their bodies, their voices, everything about them. But I had never spent more than a handful of nights with a woman. But this beautiful girl at the docks, she made me fall at first sight.

I soon found out that she was Princess Aksha, only daughter of Queen Imani. She was traveling around and visiting royals hoping to save the peace within the dissolving Unified Nations. If there was any hope for me, I knew it was her. I wanted to push her away, but I needed her. She may not be able to save my life, but she could save my soul.

I open my eyes and look up at Aksha as she stares at me. “I’ve never had a moment of free will in my life. I have either been owned by my father or manipulated by Sanguis.” I shake my head and sigh. “The first time I felt free was when I saw you.”

Aksha clutches her clothes to her chest. In all the time she listened to me, she never got dressed. “You must understand,” she whispers, “in all of this-” she hangs her head. “Edragon, if only you had been someone else.”

“I can be,” I go to her and clutch her hands. “I am someone else. If you save me I will be someone else. Edragon will be dead and I will take over.”

Aksha looks at me, tears in her eyes. “It’s not that simple.”

I reach for my bag and take out the knife inside. I unsheathe it and Aksha grabs my wrist in fright. 

“Don’t!” She cries.

I take the blade and place it against my face. “I’ll do anything,” I whisper. “I’ll change my face. I’ll cover it in scars. What must I do to show you I am speaking the truth? I cannot go on living as Edragon, but maybe I can live as someone else.”

Aksha clings to my wrist and places her fingers around the blade. I drop the dagger and kiss her, falling into her arms and taking hold of her. I only feel real here. I only want to breathe when she kisses me.

“Who are you?” Aksha whispers as she presses her forehead to mine. “If you are not Edragon, then who are you?”

“I’m a man who loves you,” I whisper.

Aksha sniffles and shakes her head. “Don’t be like that.”

I laugh and grasp her face between my palms. “I mean it!” I then grin and hold my tears. “I will serve you, loyal and willing to lay my life on the line. Let Mero beat me to a pulp and smash my face in if you must. Just hide me.”

Aksha takes in a deep breath and nods.

I kiss her again, pushing her down into the bed so she can feel every moment of my gratitude for her.

“Stop. Wait.” She pushes me back gently. “So...who are you?”

I kiss her paw. “You create me.”

Aksha wraps me up in her arms and we lay together in silence. I hold tight onto her and soon she sits up and looks at me.

“You’re Isaac,” she murmurs. “Because you made me laugh so much.” She puts her hands on either side of my face. “You saved Mero and I, so I took you in to return your kindness.”

“What did I save you from?” I whisper. 

Aksha closes her eyes. “I don’t want to decide that.”

“I’ll have Mero decide,” I kiss her again. “I may be healing for a very long time though.”

Aksha kisses me and has me lay down on the bed. “Then let’s not waste a moment,” she whispers. 

“This is my first time as Isaac,” I moan as she straddles my hips. “I’m a virgin now. You’ll have to be gentle.”

Aksha smiles. “Joking already?”

“I just needed to see you smile. Believe me when I tell you I’m still terrified.” I rub her thighs and watch her belly flutter. “But seeing you smile reminds me there is still some good in the world.”

Aksha pets down my chest and belly. “I wouldn’t do this if I didn’t think there was something worth saving. Isaac is the good in you.”

I pray to the gods she’s right. I so want to be good for her, to deserve her. Maybe as Isaac I’ll be able to atone. I want to believe I can be forgiven and redeemed. I want the screaming I heard in Berkset to end. I want to save the world from Sanguis. I want to protect Aksha at all costs.