Naruto: Freeloading is Great! 2 [20]

Even though unlimited respawns were allowed, very few teams actually managed to reach the third stage.

During stage two, Hoshino still occasionally saw other students around.

Granted, he had maliciously led them into traps to get them "killed" every single time, but still…

Ever since the dead-last squad had been forced into the third stage, however, they hadn’t encountered anyone else.

It wasn’t for any complicated reason. It was simply because, in this round, these garbage teachers had completely given up any semblance of dignity…

“Damn your watermelon balls! Who the hell said wild beasts and traps were the greatest threats in the forest—this is clearly enemy ninja! Using ninjutsu on students who aren’t even genin yet is shameless beyond belief!”

“H-he’s catching up! That ninja from the ‘Mountain Country’ is catching up! Hoshino, hurry and think of something!”

“Mountain Country my ass! That garbage teacher literally just stuck a sticker on his forehead protector—what kind of bullshit ‘Mountain Country’ even exists in this world!? How am I supposed to deal with such a shameless cheater!?”

“I don’t care! Gorilla Sakura was already beaten ‘dead,’ and this teacher clearly isn’t holding back at all. If we don’t do something, there’s absolutely no chance of escaping! Hurry up and think of something!”

“If I had a plan, would I be running like this!? It’s you who should be dealing with this garbage teacher—now’s exactly the time for you, the top-ranked Child of Destiny, to awaken your cheat abilities!”

Hoshino and Naruto sprinted frantically for their lives.

Far behind them, there was a "corpse" whose body was buried underground, leaving only a head exposed at the surface.

“Even though I’m already dead, my manly spirit will never surrender! Sensei, whether you plan to sit on my head like a stool, or perhaps…perhaps even pee on me…pee!? Guh-hehehe, I can’t wait… Sensei, hurry and punish me! Make it so I can never again lift my proud, manly head! Quickly! Do it now, sensei!”

“You pink-haired brat, shut the hell up! Don’t say such disgusting things to distract me! Dead people aren’t allowed to talk!!”

Gorilla Sakura’s face flushed red as he shouted these twisted, eager words, nearly causing the ‘enemy ninja’ teacher to stumble and fall from distraction.

Maybe the teacher never imagined that the person he’d assassinated with the Earth Release: Double Suicide Decapitation Technique would be such a freak.

Who would’ve guessed that Gorilla Sakura could be so useful at a time like this…

…I underestimated him.

“Sensei, are you ignoring me? Are you really ignoring me? Why won’t you punish me? Could this…could this be ‘neglect play’!? Ahh~ neglect play isn’t bad either—though it’s not as thrilling or intense as direct punishment, the slow, enduring…ahhh~ I’m feeling so comfortable all over! Dear, I’m sorry…I never thought I’d feel pleasure from another man’s punishment…”

“You perverted brat! Don’t you dare say anything even more disgusting!!”

“I can’t even talk anymore…? Such a harsh punishment…it feels…so good…! I can’t hold it any longer! I really can’t hold back…ahhh, ahhhh…! I-I’m going…I’m going…going to heaven…Ahhh!!”

“……”

The ‘enemy ninja’ fell silent for a long moment.

Then he cupped his hands into a megaphone, tears practically flowing down his cheeks, and shouted toward the distant figures of Hoshino and Naruto, still fleeing desperately.

“Negotiation! You little Konoha brats, I demand a negotiation—! S-stop running! Stop, stop, stop right now! I won’t attack you anymore—let’s negotiate! As long as you agree to my conditions, I’ll let you pass immediately!”

Skreee—!

Upon hearing the teacher’s desperate words, Hoshino and Naruto instantly stopped fleeing. Due to their previous high speed, momentum still carried them forward another meter before they finally managed to brake.

“Hoshino, that teacher doesn’t seem to be lying. If he really wanted to ‘kill’ us, he could’ve caught us in a few seconds, but he didn’t keep chasing.”

“I stopped precisely because he seems sincere about negotiating. Our luck might actually be good for once—if the negotiation succeeds, I won’t have to deliberately trip you and leave you behind to buy myself more time to escape and come up with another plan.”

“Hey—! Hoshino, what the hell did you just say!? I can’t pretend I didn’t hear that one! I’m mad—I’m super mad right now!!”

…Oops. Looks like I accidentally spilled my true intentions.

Fortunately, this brat was merely Naruto after all.

“Naruto, you have to remember: as the team leader, I have a duty to prevent the entire squad from being wiped out. Now think carefully—which situation is worse: all three of us dying, or just two dying and one surviving?”

“I guess… all three dying is worse?”

“Exactly! As long as you understand. Fine, I won’t hold your mistake against you. Let’s negotiate now~”

“Oh, thank you… Wait, wait a second!! Why am I the one who has to die!? Aren’t you a man, Hoshino? Shouldn’t you nobly sacrifice yourself for me and stay behind to buy time?”

“Tch—! So troublesome… Little Naruto-kun, how can you get stuck in your misguided logic again? Come, let me ask you another question: In a team, who’s more important—the leader or the team members?”

“The leader…is more important?”

“Correct! Now think again: in a situation like that, who should stay behind and heroically die? Me, the leader, or you, the brainless team member?”

“That…should probably be me, the brainless team member, right?”

“Exactly! As a brainless team member, it’s only right you die heroically for me! …And who am I? I’m the hope of you two, your glorious leader—the greatest person here!”

“Hoshino, you’re…the greatest?”

“Yes, I am the greatest! …The grief of losing comrades, the guilt and regret of surviving alone—such heavy sins could crush a person completely. But! Naruto, I’m your leader. I never want you to live the rest of your life trapped in darkness. Beautiful, blissful heaven is where you truly belong—let me bear this heavy sin alone!”

“H-Hoshino…thank you, thank you for bearing everything for me…uwaaaah—! Hoshino!!”

In the end, having thoroughly ‘enlightened’ Naruto with the power of ‘love,’ Hoshino gently placed his hand on Naruto’s shoulder as she sobbed uncontrollably.

“Don’t cry. This isn’t the time for tears. We still have hope—as long as hope exists, even if it’s tiny, I’ll fight until my last breath. Dry your tears and follow me; let’s go retrieve our comrade’s corpse together!”

“Yes, captain!!”

The mountain breeze gently brushed past their cheeks. With the resolve of warriors facing certain death, the two remaining members of the dead-last squad walked resolutely toward the enemy ninja, their backs both sorrowful and unwavering…

Meanwhile, the teacher who’d demanded the negotiation had only one thought echoing in his mind:

What the hell is wrong with this bizarre squad!?
A pervert, an idiot, and an Oscar-worthy drama queen—how the hell did these three even make it to the third stage!?

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This is a fan translation of 火影之软饭真好吃 by 肾亏能力者 All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!