Naruto: Freeloading is Great! 2 [15]

Soldier pills: even better than compressed rations. If you don't move much, a single pill can sustain you for a whole day.

Although it sounds exaggeratedly powerful, they're expensive, taste like garbage, and, most importantly, have serious side effects. For growing kids, they're prohibited unless it's an absolute emergency.

Therefore…

“W-why am I the only one who can't catch anything!?”

Gorilla Sakura shouted to Hoshino and Naruto on the riverbank.

Right now, Gorilla Sakura was barefoot in the middle of a small creek. Meanwhile, Hoshino had already thrown kunai to skewer three fish, and Naruto had gone off to collect mushrooms after starting a fire.

Are these two barbarians or what? How are their wilderness survival skills this strong?

“If you often found yourself in situations like, ‘Ah~ no food today again, guess we’re starving,’ then you'd easily manage this too.”

“Uhh… I’m sorry! Please don't keep talking—I don't want to hear anymore! Your backstory is too sad!”

As soon as Hoshino opened his mouth, Gorilla Sakura plugged his ears and fled to the side.

He really didn’t want to listen to these two barbarians discuss which insect larvae tasted better again.

While Sakura was busy wondering how Hoshino and Naruto had survived all these years, Naruto—completely confused about Sakura's sadness—asked Hoshino:

“Hoshino, we're still in the middle of a test. Is it really okay for us to openly make a fire and roast food like this?”

“What’s wrong with it? We’re already dead-last and third-to-last. What’s the point of fighting over that stupid ranking? It’s better to take it easy. As long as we reach the summit eventually, that’s good enough~”

“But exposing our location means the teachers might attack…”

“I've already set up a trap. No worries.”

“You call that a trap!?”

“How can it not count as a trap!? It’s just your IQ is too low to appreciate the brilliance of my trap.”

...

—Regarding Hoshino’s "trap"—

Right now, not far from the creek, behind some trees…

A teacher dressed in a wolf mascot suit, having spotted the smoke, rushed over to "massacre" these brats.

Wolf-sensei couldn't understand what the "bear" and "tiger" teachers responsible for this area were doing. Such obvious smoke signaling the kids’ location, yet no one had dealt with it after all this time, forcing him to come running from his distant post to check things out.

"If everyone is this lazy, how are we supposed to teach these brats their shortcomings…? Seriously, these kids lighting fires—don’t they know this place is crawling with 'wild animals'? They’re blatantly revealing their posi—"

Wolf-sensei paused, staring at a conspicuous sign hanging in front of him.

Which sneaky, bastard brat made this annoying sign?

It wasn't even really a sign—just a large piece of tree bark with charcoal writing, hung from a branch by two vines, gently swaying in the breeze.

[Attention, beasts: Don’t forget you're supposed to be wild animals. Real animals would never approach open fires!]
[Ignore this sign!]
[Keep going.]

[Dear beast: If you're still approaching after reading this sign, I must conclude you’re lower than a beast!]

Lower than a beast!? Can’t I just pretend I didn't see the damn sign!?

He took another step forward—

[You worthless thing that’s lower than a beast—I know your teacher ethics are rotten, and you'll definitely pretend you didn’t see my sign, planning to come beat me up anyway. So go ahead! Come beat me if you aren’t afraid of death! After this, I'll definitely report your incompetence and blindness to the Hokage! We Uchiha fear no one! Prepare to be demoted to genin!]

“Aha, ahahaha… It—it was the young master of the Uchiha clan! I didn’t realize he was not only a genius but also a terrifying schemer… Um, anyway, this place isn't really my responsibility, I'll…I'll just head back to my own ‘territory.’”

Following the bear and the tiger, Wolf-sensei was successfully driven away by Hoshino’s "trap."

...

“Here, brother, this is my carefully grilled fish. You eat first~”

For the first time ever, Hoshino didn’t rush to devour the fish he grilled. Instead, he smiled and handed it graciously to Gorilla Sakura.

Hoshino willingly giving away food was an incredibly rare occurrence. Usually, when eating with Sasuke and Naruto, he’d always eat first—and often even stole meat directly from their bowls.

But this situation was different. Gorilla Sakura wasn’t Sasuke or Naruto. Who exactly was Gorilla Sakura? A little girl!

Precisely because of this, Hoshino didn't hesitate at all in giving the grilled fish to Gorilla Sakura.

He planned to use this fish to make Sakura fall madly and hopelessly in love with him.

If anyone wondered why Hoshino was so confident, the answer was simple—he was a legitimate transmigrator.

Besides plagiarism-level perfect memory, what other passive skill did transmigrators usually possess?

Grilled fish and meat!

It was common knowledge that regardless of age or gender, anyone who tasted meat grilled by a transmigrator would instantly fall in love with them!

“Th-this…isn’t really appropriate, right…? Br-brother, I…I’m not hungry yet… You eat first.”

Gorilla Sakura stammered hesitantly.

Although he hadn’t eaten all day, Sakura wasn't exactly lying. After all, the fish Hoshino grilled was not only as black as charcoal but was also giving off an aura of death…

This lump of charcoal labeled "grilled fish" was definitely demon food!

“Aiyoo What’s inappropriate? We’re brothers, aren’t we? Trust me, though it doesn’t look pretty, I’m a master with passive cooking skills—I guarantee it tastes amazing. Here, say ‘Ahh,’ I'll feed you. Aaah—”

Facing Hoshino’s overly enthusiastic creepiness, Sakura was momentarily at a loss for how to refuse.

His sworn brother had worked so hard on this; refusing would be far too cruel.

But this clearly deadly piece of charcoal…

Sakura desperately shot a pleading look toward Naruto.

Save me!!

“...A-ah, my fish is done grilling too! Fish time, fish time! You guys continue, continue.”

Unfortunately, Naruto immediately grabbed her own grilled fish and turned around, burying her head in eating and pretending not to see anything.

Spineless pervert coward!

After cursing Naruto silently, Sakura opened his mouth tearfully, ready to accept Hoshino’s grilled fish.

“…Aahh, uhh—wumumu…mmm! Mm!?...Delicious!!!”

“See, I told you so! You shouldn’t judge food by appearances alone; you need to consider—”

“I want some too!”

Naruto, who had expected Sakura to collapse bleeding from every orifice, immediately widened her eyes. Without waiting for Hoshino to finish his nonsense analysis, she sprinted over and snatched the grilled fish at lightspeed.

Naruto took a huge bite, and before even chewing, tears of "joy" spilled from her eyes.

“Y-you gorilla bastard! Your brain is clearly made of muscle, yet…yet you actually tricked me…ugh!!”

“Haha—ha, ha. W-we’re all teammates, after all. If there's trouble, we must sh-share it equally…urgh!! N-no good…I kept the meat in my mouth too long… Ah…Grandpa… Weren’t you…already dead? Why…why are you standing on the other side of the riverbank? Grandpa, what are those red flowers blooming along the shore?”

---

This is a fan translation of 火影之软饭真好吃 by 肾亏能力者 All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!