Naruto: Freeloading is Great! 2 [2]

It hadn’t even been that long—at most half an hour since the first kids arrived—yet little cliques had already formed.

When Hoshino walked in, he still received some friendly looks. But the moment Naruto followed behind him, those looks all turned strange.

Among the gazes, there was one especially odd. Full of hostility—but bizarrely, not an ounce of malice.

“You, the fox demon who leads people astray—how dare you come to the ninja academy too!”

“Ah, it's Bitch Woman~”

Naruto, hearing Ino point at her and shout, instinctively blurted out the nickname Sasuke had given her.

“Don’t call me Bitch Woman!”

“If not Bitch Woman, then what? Bitch Man?”

“You’re picking a fight with me on purpose, aren’t you!? I told you, my name’s Yamanaka Ino—stop calling me with some nickname that’ll give people the wrong idea!”

No need to look at her face—the tone alone said this girl was about to blow a gasket from Naruto’s antics.

Honestly though, Ino really was attention-grabbing. Not because of looks or aura, but because of the two very distinctive boys sitting with her.

One, the fat one, was stuffing chips into his mouth. Noticing Hoshino’s glance, he instantly clutched the bag protectively to his chest.

No one wants your damn chips, fatso. Don’t glare at me like I’m some dangerous predator.

The other was thin, collapsed over the desk like a corpse. A sign stood propped on his table: [Don’t talk to me. Dealing with you is too troublesome!!]

God, what ugly handwriting. This is supposed to be the Hokage’s top IQ? Try practicing once in your life, it won’t kill you.

Whatever. With weirdos like that, Hoshino had no desire for chit-chat. He just tossed out a “Morning, Ino Bitch~,” ignored her furious grab for a pen to throw at him, and walked toward the empty desks in the back.

No helping it—the classic “protagonist seat,” second row from the back by the window, was already taken. What, was he supposed to slap the kid and kick him out?

For reference, the one sitting there was a brat with upside-down red triangles on his cheeks, radiating that “I’m so aloof” chūnibyō aura.

Great. Another lunatic.

So, Hoshino ended up at the very back window seat, with Naruto plopping down on his right.

Not that he minded Naruto sitting beside him. Actually, being next to that idiot was more relaxing. But still—Naruto was infamous as dead last…

“Hey, Naruto, can you sit up in the row ahead? I wanna sit with Sasuke. He’s my future, after all.”

Hoshino nudged her arm, impatient. Better to sit with genius Sasuke than with dead-last Naruto—especially since then Sasuke would be on his right, Naruto behind him. Much easier to cheat during exams. No risk of flunking.

“…No way. You’re trying to abandon me. Even if you kill me, I won’t let you. And besides, letting you sit next to Sasuke would be way too dangerous!”

“How the hell is that abandoning you? You’d still be right in front. And what danger? As long as I’m careful not to get caught, everything’ll be fine. Not a big deal.”

“Not get caught!? You actually planned on doing that kind of depraved thing—! No way!!”

Naruto nearly exploded. Sure, Hoshino was always scummy, but to think that at school he’d instantly go full pervert…

She knew how stalkers acted—exploiting girls’ fear of public shame to grope them in crowded places.

And Sasuke wasn’t just any kid—she was clan-born, with a reputation. If Hoshino molested him in class, Sasuke might swallow her pride and suffer silently just so Hoshino wouldn’t lose face.

With how perverted she knew he was, he’d definitely enjoy every moment of messing with a girl in class, thrilled by the sight of her forcing herself not to cry out. The more she endured, the worse he’d get.

“Perverted my ass. Sure, it bends the rules a bit, but what the hell’s that got to do with being some deviant!?”

“‘Just bends the rules a bit’? That’s a crime! A serious one!”

“Crime my dick! Shut up already and haul yourself to the front row! Now!!”

Fists clenched, Hoshino seethed. Goddamn pineapple bowl-cut, how is cheating on a test suddenly ‘a crime’!? Deserves a beating!

Just as Naruto was about to get her head smacked again, the chūnibyō brat in front turned around.

“Foolish mortals, your ignorant voices are too loud. They’ll awaken the being sealed within me… hm? N-no, impossible. The seal’s weakening! Calm yourself, Krastori, calm! This time it’s not an enemy!”

With grave expression, he clutched his arm and squirmed dramatically. Then, wiping nonexistent sweat from his forehead, he muttered on.

“Phew… Krass… Krasss…”

But when he got to the made-up name, he stalled, face twisted in concentration.

Oh for fuck’s sake. At least remember the fake name you made up.

Hoshino was about to remind him—you said Krastori—when the brat suddenly sighed, eyes shadowed.

Giving up? Was he really about to abandon his own “set lore”? Poor Krastori, killed off so soon…?

“The seal of Krasslily has stabilized… what a close call. If it had awakened, this world would face calamity. You two, remember—don’t raise your voices again. If you rouse Krass… Krassdep this time, no one will be able to save you.”

Wrong again. Twice. And you’re still going? Dumbass…

At last, unable to watch any longer, Hoshino turned his head away. The boy finished his spiel, sat down, and dropped his head with a “clunk”—hiding a face already burning scarlet with embarrassment.

Bet it’ll take him days to crawl out from the shadow of failed chuuni roleplay. Knows what shame is, yet still acts big. Go die, idiot.

Anyone with half a brain could tell he’d just been improvising nonsense.

Naruto, terrified, turned to Hoshino.

“H-Hoshino… I-I know such a huge secret now… I-I won’t be killed to silence me, will I?”

“…Go kill yourself.”

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This is a fan translation of 火影之软饭真好吃 by 肾亏能力者 All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!