Naruto: Freeloading is Great! [25]

By evening, Naruto shuffled out of the bathroom, sulky, hair dripping, pajamas clinging damply.

Totally baffled. All she did was eat one banana—why wasn’t brushing her teeth enough? Why did she have to be forced into a full shower, too?

“…Hoshino? What… what are you doing?”

Naruto eyed him warily. Hoshino sat cross-legged on his bed, masked and gloved, wearing a doctor’s coat, with a bottle of eerie green liquid at his side.

What was this, a human experiment?

No way—!

“Quit backing up. You’re clean, so hurry up and lie down.”

“C-can I not? You look exactly like a doctor about to dissect me with a kunai! Don’t, I’m still young, I don’t wanna die—!”

“Move it! If you don’t, you’ll find tomorrow’s sun won’t shine for you!”

Naruto didn’t want to go anywhere near him, but under Hoshino’s vicious glare, she obediently climbed onto the bedding he’d laid out and flopped face-down.

“Do you not understand human speech? I said lie on your back, not face-down.”

“…Because your eyes are terrifying, Hoshino… I totally—”

Before she could finish whining, Hoshino smacked the back of her head.

“Why hit me ag—wait wait wait, I get it, I’ll turn over now!”

“Good. Now take off your shirt.”

“O-okay… o—ehhh—!!???”

Naruto shot upright, shrieking, arms clamped around her chest as she scuttled back to the wall.

Wh-what the hell, why that request all of a sudden!?

Even if he was in heat from seeing Sasuke again, wasn’t this way too much!?

“Don’t clutch your damn chest like that. You think I’m into you? Relax, I’d never in my life see you—as effeminate as you are—as the opposite sex. Get over here. I’m doing this not just for Sasuke’s sake, but for yours.”

But instead of reassurance, Naruto’s face turned even paler.

This guy… wanting to touch a girl’s chest but refusing responsibility—what garbage!

If you don’t see me as relationship material, then don’t touch me at all!

‘This is for Sasuke and for you’—what the hell’s that supposed to mean? Sure, I don’t want you jailed for trying to rape Sasuke, but taking those flames of lust and venting them on me—how is that good for either of us!?

Naruto froze, unable to get a single word out. Hoshino grew impatient.

“Can you hurry it up? Once I’m done massaging your chest, I still need to massage my own long thing. Don’t waste my precious time. Get over here!”

“…Hoshino, I… I-I-I… c-can you spare me?”

Oh?

Hoshino blinked. Well damn. The brat had seen through him—realized he was planning to test the oil on her before using it on himself. Her analytical skills weren’t bad.

Sure, using someone else as a guinea pig wasn’t exactly moral. But this was just a bit of medicinal oil—no harm in applying it. And Naruto was the Child of Prophecy, tougher than cockroaches. Better to test on her than on himself, right?

And besides, hadn’t someone said it before? Better my companion than me. So…

“No way! Lie down properly, shirt open, don’t move until I say okay!”

“B-but if I do that… no one will marry me…”

He wanted to call her a damn bastard for that line, but Hoshino forced himself to hold back.

“You have three seconds. Either you lie down yourself, or I beat you into a mummy and make you lie down. Three…”

“I…”

“Two…”

“H-Hoshino…”

“One…”

“Hoshino, put down the kunai already!!”

In the end—terrified of being abandoned, terrified of Hoshino going after Sasuke if his flames weren’t vented—Naruto gave in. She zipped across the room and lay flat on the bedding.

“Shirt open.”

“Before I do… one last question. You… you’ll swear… swear just the chest is enough? You won’t touch… any other part? Especially… my pants…”

“Of course, idiot. The rest is Sasuke’s problem.”

Hoshino snapped, annoyed.

He was a straight man. This was nothing but prevention—keeping Sasuke from pursuing him while pushing her toward Naruto. He was only reluctantly massaging her chest for growth. Who’d want to touch anything else? Gross.

But when Naruto saw the disgust flicker in his eyes, her feelings turned complicated. A little relieved, but also hurt—his “I wouldn’t touch anyone but Sasuke” stung deep. Even as just Sasuke’s stand-in, it hurt.

“Hoshino, you super scumbag! I hate you!!”

Hoshino chuckled. “Thanks for the hate. Makes me feel a lot better. Now shut up and strip.”

“Pervert! Scum! Trash! Unrecyclable garbage…!”

...

Thirty minutes later.

“Alright… time’s up. Huff… fuck, I’m dead tired.”

“…”

“Quit pretending to be dead. Besides moaning, you laid there like a corpse the whole time. What, trying to look more exhausted than me? Quit panting and tell me how it felt.”

Naruto, body flushed red and drenched in sweat, gasping as if she’d been wrung out, nearly lost it. Not only did he not comfort her, he mocked her instead. She grabbed the pillow under her head and hurled it at him.

“Still… huff… still asking for… post-game feedback… huhhh… dream on…!”

“Fine, don’t say it. Judging by your sorry state, I already know. The oil works.”

“Lame… so lame… hhhhhh…”

Seeing Naruto gasping like she was about to suffocate, Hoshino didn’t… no, couldn’t keep looking.

Too weird. Why did this brat’s sweat smell faintly of milk? Why did it hit him like pheromones?

Looking closer, with her hair grown out, pajamas slipping off one shoulder, she looked… like a cute little girl.

“Guess that’s what happens when I live off ramen. Malnutrition’s giving me hallucinations after just a little fatigue. Disgusting brat… urk…!”

“N-no… need ox… oxygen… ugh… d-don’t throw up… I-I’m not that… that ugly… don’t—don’t look at my face and puke… mmmphh…!”

Naruto, drained of all strength, stammered out those words before sleep crushed her. She collapsed and drifted into unconsciousness.

---

T/N: @ _ @

This is a fan translation of 火影之软饭真好吃 by 肾亏能力者 All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!