Naruto: Freeloading is Great! [19]

Even if a five-year-old’s “tool” couldn’t be used yet—lacking any real “combat” function—Hoshino still couldn’t swallow the humiliation of feeling like his flower had been defiled.

“Calm down… Hoshino, calm down a little, the edge of your kunai is really about to touch my throat…! It wasn’t me, Sasuke was the one who pulled down your pants. I just followed along to take a close— I just glanced, that’s all…”

Damn it! He said close, didn’t he!? Just now he definitely said it!

If Naruto hadn’t tried to explain, it might’ve been better. But the moment he opened his mouth, Hoshino could feel the icy edge of steel graze against his skin.

“No, no, no… I admit it, I admit I peeked too! But I really didn’t touch anything, Sasuke was the one who did all the handling! You’ve got to believe me, I have absolutely zero interest in touching that filthy thing of yours!”

Being told his second life was “filthy” annoyed Hoshino a little. But thinking it over, Naruto’s words actually sounded reasonable. He loved Nii-chan Jr. so much—why would he be interested in Hoshino’s incredibly handsome, witty, sunny, perfect male “strength”… (skip ten thousand characters of self-praise)… yeah, probably not.

Since it was unlikely Naruto would ever have dirty thoughts about his “perfect” body, Hoshino finally moved the kunai slightly away.

“Talk. What exactly did you two do while I was unconscious?”

“We didn’t do anyth—ahh! Blood! I’m bleeding! I’ll talk, I’ll talk, I’ll talk…”

After Hoshino’s kunai nicked a scratch on his neck barely big enough to fuss over, Naruto spilled everything.

In the end, Sasuke had only stared at Hoshino’s “strength” over and over while he was out cold. Still hard to accept, but a thousand times better than his flower actually suffering serious harm.

If things had gone too far, Naruto and Nii-chan Jr. would’ve been stabbed to death the next time they met, no question. Who couldn’t go “punish society”? Trading one random mob life for two chosen ones’ lives—profit!

Brat. You forgot who was the one holding your hand when you cut yourself, didn’t you? Now you’ve got Nii-chan Jr. and suddenly you’re flying high, huh? Instead of kicking the one who did it, you kick me, the victim… what a joke!

Having gotten the whole story, Hoshino didn’t want to waste more words on Naruto, who defended Sasuke to the point of brain damage. He slammed the door and stormed out.

After he left, Naruto sat back on his mat, lips pouting, finger drawing circles on the floor.

“Whatever. You won’t even tell me where you’re going…”

Hoshino was frustrated. But Naruto wasn’t any better off.

Never mind having to occasionally provide orange cloth to satisfy someone’s perverted male hobby. Just the fact that Hoshino had gotten fickle about Sasuke was bad enough. Yesterday he’d even gone into heat, almost committing the serious crime of attempted rape.

Sure, Sasuke explained it had only been because she accidentally aroused him, that his white-fluid brain took over, and she forgave him after “seeing the real thing.” But attempted rape was still attempted rape.

“Becoming more of a pervert every day… scumbag Hoshino.”

Utterly helpless toward his perverted ways, Naruto hugged her knees angrily, vowing she wouldn’t show him a good face until he admitted his mistakes.

But that resolve didn’t last long…

“How is it sunset already and he still isn’t back? Lazy as he is, how could he stay out this long? The ramen’s going to get cold…”

“Ah… it’s totally dark. The night’s so cold. Walking around outside with only that thin sleepwear, is that okay? Should I go look for him… n-no, it wasn’t my fault anyway…”

“I-it’s only 3 a.m., just a little longer. If I go out now and he comes back while I’m gone, what if he worries…?”

“Alarm clock…? M-morning already? That won’t do, it’s time for breakfast… w-why still not back? Please come back already, it’s so dark, it’s too dark here… Hoshino…”

Bathed in the sunlight coming through the window, the orange-haired little girl whimpered in a baby’s cry about darkness—though the cheap apartment was brightly lit.

…

Flash back to noon, just after Hoshino stormed out.

Often, without a goal or a push, people lack motivation to act.

Take training. After being shocked by Naruto’s crappy Bunshin no Jutsu, and then burned by Sasuke, Hoshino had finally gotten the urge to distance himself from those two gaylords and train seriously to become at least some kind of ninja.

Why were his goals so salty? Because he knew he had no bloodline.

Never mind becoming jōnin. Even if he somehow did, what would it matter? Just a higher-class cannon fodder.

As for copying the standard transmigrator routine—“train taijutsu with more willpower than Rock Lee”—

Heh.

Anyone with that kind of willpower could succeed at literally anything. Why transmigrate to be a ninja? Why not just be a winner on Earth? Always babbling “I was just an ordinary person before I transmigrated”—what a joke. It was like top students saying “I never study at home.” Hate that fake modest crap. Go die.

Hoshino knew he didn’t have that kind of freakish drive. His aim was simpler: just become a ninja. Then, using chakra to wall-run as a passive skill, transfer jobs into something actually useful… like firefighter, or mailman!

Humph. You stupid transmigrators. While you’re stuck in “backed-by-powerful-clan thugs” drama, fighting over ‘That’s my woman’ or ‘Bow or be destroyed,’ I’ll be enjoying my easy, lazy life. Jealous yet? Wahahaha…!

So Hoshino, grinning like an idiot, began training—not that it was particularly harsh.

The regimen was laughably basic: running, climbing trees, punching and kicking at air.

He didn’t have the cheat-willpower of those “modest” transmigrators, but he could at least push himself until his muscles strained all over. Not that hard—easier than standing at attention during military drills.

Within half an hour, his body was already jelly. Though he wanted to stop immediately, he remembered that after intense exercise, you shouldn’t just quit cold. So he slowed to a walk to ease his heartbeat and blood flow.

And that’s when it happened—on his very first attempt at “training,” he ran into a goddamn lunatic leaping out from behind a tree.

“Young man! I see great potential in you! With your looks, you’ll surely achieve greatness! You have the talent to become my disciple—the Konoha’s Blue Beast! Well? Come join me in the training of youth!”

“…Sorry, I’ve got things to do, I’ll just—wahhh!”

“Mhm mhm! Since you’re not walking away, I’ll take that as a yes! Ooohhh~ never thought you’d agree without hesitation to become my disciple! As your master, I’m so touched—!”

“No, don’t spout that nonsense—! You damn bowl-cut watermelon in green spandex, let me go! Stop clinging to my leg! This is forced sales tactics! I don’t want to be your—hey!! Quit wiping your tears on my pants, and don’t you dare smear your snot on them too—!!”

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T/N: hes cursed actually cursed LMAOOO

This is a fan translation of 火影之软饭真好吃 by 肾亏能力者 All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!