Weren’t You Only Using Me As A Stand-in? [99]

Where the hell did it make all these dog connections?

Kitahara Takeru looked around at the circle of dogs surrounding him, his expression twitching with visible confusion.

Sure, he had arranged with Tiny to meet here at 8:30 p.m. on Friday—but he had no idea what kind of plan the mutt had cooked up.

All Tiny said was that everything was “arranged,” and he just needed to bring a wooden sword.

Kitahara didn’t understand why he had to bring a bokken, but he trusted Tiny’s IQ enough to follow through anyway.

And now, he arrived to find the dog being attacked by a pack.

Knowing his own dog as well as he did, Kitahara didn’t need to guess: these were definitely fake attackers. Hired goons, no doubt.

If this were a real fight, that border collie would’ve ditched the girl and bolted long ago.

You think he’s stupid?

That dog’s as sly as they come.

“Woof woof! (That’s my poop-shoveler—don’t actually bite him! Just make it look good!)” Tiny whimpered pathetically from within Nakano Miku’s protective embrace. His cries sounded tragic, but in truth, he was just relaying orders.

Miku, thinking her dog was seriously hurt, instinctively tightened her hold on him. Her eyes shimmered with moisture, on the verge of tears.

Wait, did she seriously use face wash before crying?

Kitahara glanced back and twitched his mouth.

This dog never skimps on theatrics.

I haven’t even used face wash myself, and you—you're living better than your owner? Unbelievable.

“Haaah…”

Kitahara barely restrained the urge to turn Tiny into hotpot, then slowly exhaled and raised his bokken in both hands, falling into stance.

The German shepherds and the rest didn’t understand a word Kitahara was saying—but they did know he was the one they were supposed to “fight.”

All they had to do was fake a skirmish, take a few hits, then bail. And afterward, each of them would get a can of gourmet dog food.

For that kind of reward, they’d even let him really smack them around a bit.

The German shepherd bared its teeth with a vicious growl, then leapt toward Kitahara.

Kitahara responded immediately, launching an overhead strike—crack—right on the shepherd’s skull.

“Woof!”

The shepherd knew it was supposed to take a few hits. But damn—that one felt real. Its eyes went wide, and it nearly passed out on the spot.

That one blow knocked the shepherd clean out of commission.

Kitahara didn’t bother checking on it. He casually raised his leg and booted the chihuahua out of the way, then launched into a rapid series of strikes, swinging wildly at the husky, the shar-pei, and the shiba inu—sending them fleeing in all directions.

Oddly enough, the husky was making the most noise… even though Kitahara had barely touched it.

When the German shepherd finally came to, it saw that its buddies had already abandoned it.

Rage filled its heart.

At that speed, they weren’t acting! They actually bailed on me!

It barked furiously at Kitahara twice, but when Kitahara raised his sword again, the shepherd tucked its tail between its legs and scrambled off.

Kitahara didn’t bother chasing the scattering mutts. He turned and walked toward Nakano Miku, who was still clutching Tiny tightly in her arms.

Only now did he get a proper look at the girl.

Tonight, she wore a light blue cardigan, a green pleated skirt, and black tights that wrapped snugly around her legs.

Her proportions were stunning—long, slender legs and a waist so slim it looked like it could be encircled by one hand.

Long hair with bangs that fell over one eye, and a pair of Audio-Technica headphones resting gently on her neck.

Her face—identical to Nakano Yotsuba’s. But her whole vibe was darker, more withdrawn. A bit of that shut-in otaku aura.

[Target: Nakano Miku]
[Age: 16]
[Intelligence: 4]
Charisma: 9]
[Stamina: 3]
[Origin: The Quintessential Quintuplets]
[Secret crush: Uesugi Fuutarou]
[Relationship status: Single, available for dating.]

Kitahara ignored the system window and crouched down, speaking calmly: “Let me see.”

Miku was introverted by nature, never good at talking to people.

Especially not to people like Kitahara—arrogant, free-spirited, practically glowing with normie energy. He was her natural enemy as a closet otaku.

And yet, when he spoke to her like that… she didn’t dare say no.

Because short-haired Kitahara had a completely different aura than his long-haired self.

With short hair, he gave off less of that intellectual, literary vibe and more raw intensity—like a school delinquent.

The kind of guy you knew had bullied kids before.

When he raised his hand, Miku instinctively flinched, thinking he was about to hit her.

But Kitahara simply reached into her arms and pulled Tiny away, placing the dog down and inspecting him thoroughly.

Just as he expected.

Not a scratch.

He gave the mutt a light slap on the head. “Get up.”

What the hell is wrong with this guy?!

Even if the dog was okay, did he have to hit him?

Miku’s lips puffed out in silent protest—but when Kitahara’s eyes swept over to her, she instantly lowered her gaze.

Yup. Confirmed. Team Doormat.

Tiny, done faking, slowly stood up and gave himself a shake.

“What kind of half-baked plan was that?” Kitahara asked, tugging his ear.

Tiny barked in protest: “Woof woof woof!”

Watch your tone, punk! Half-baked?

As the only dog with free access to the quintuplets’ rooms, he knew everything about their preferences.

And Nakano Miku? She loved warring states generals.

That’s why he planned this whole hero saves the damsel act.

Tiny would bet his next ten meals—after tonight, Miku was going to be head over heels for his poop-shoveler.

She likes Sengoku generals, huh?

Kitahara mentally filed away the detail and began brainstorming an angle.

When it came to Chinese military generals, he was something of a connoisseur.

Guan Yu vs. Qin Qiong, Xiang Yu vs. the Five Tiger Generals, Zhang Liang outwitting Guiguzi… What hasn’t a webnovel author written about?

If you wanted to learn about them, just read the comments under each chapter—plenty of passionate history buffs eager to enlighten you. Honestly, sometimes the comments were more entertaining than the story itself.

So yes—he knew a ton about Chinese generals.

But Japanese ones?

He really couldn’t care less.

Why? Because Oda Nobunaga was only 170 cm tall, and the Japanese still called him a “towering giant.” One European missionary even wrote in his journal: “The Japanese cavalry looked like a bunch of monkeys riding dogs.”

Yeah… okay.

“Um, excuse me.”

Miku’s voice cut through his thoughts, soft and tentative.

Kitahara turned his head slightly to glance at her.

The second their eyes met, Miku immediately looked down, fingers playing with her bangs like she wanted to hide behind them.

“Could I… have my dog back?” she asked, barely above a whisper. “He’s hurt, and I want to take him to the vet.”

Kitahara raised an eyebrow. “Your dog? Since when?”

Miku bit her lip and clutched the hem of her skirt. “He… is.”

That made Kitahara chuckle.

He stood up, walked over, and stared down at the 159 cm potato in front of him.

Miku shrank back in fear, but bumped into the wall—no room to retreat.

“If that’s your dog,” Kitahara said, “then where’s my dog?”

“I… I don’t know.”

Kitahara nudged Tiny with his foot. The border collie immediately got the message and trotted obediently to his side, rubbing his head against Kitahara’s leg with exaggerated affection.

“Let me introduce myself: Kitahara Takeru. I’m Tiny’s owner.”

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T/N: erm actually oda nobunaga is a cute girl

This is a fan translation of 不是说只拿我当替身的吗？by 雪碧加冰. All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!