Something to say

只是想说一些最近的情况吧，知道我的老粉丝应该都知道，在2022年5月左右我所在的工作室开了联盟比赛，没错，今年的5月也要开，如果没错我依旧是OB（控制游戏视角给观众看的职位），每一场都要就位，很消耗精力，预赛还好，决赛那天要坐将近8小时，这个比赛去年做过所以有一些经验，所以不会像上次那么累了。

但是6月份我又要参加一场虚拟演唱会，我要在这段时间从零开始学习UE5（虚幻引擎5），虽然组里说我的位置不会那么累，但我压力还是蛮大的，在这之后还要学很多东西，为未来的一些计划做准备。

我不知道我做HMV的时间还有多久，逐渐变得麻木起来了，要做的事太多，还没有开始做就要被压垮了，希望这只是我多虑了而已。

为了自己能更好的工作和娱乐买了新的电脑，但因此我也有了将近九千块的债，可笑的是我根本没时间玩游戏，硬盘里装了几百G的游戏他们几乎没被我打开过，买了新电脑感觉自己像是丢了什么东西一样，失去了很多心情和感觉，也许我真的需要一次旅行放松一下，可惜不行。

在未来的5月和6月我不敢说我能稳定的更新，也不敢说就算更新了质量能不错，最近我的心里似乎失去了太多。周五现实工作再次变更，5月的比赛，6月的演唱会，甚至做这些事情的决定似乎都不是我，在一开始我只是抱着试试看的感觉去了，结果就变成了他们需要我做这些事，我去做就好了的感觉...但我不去做的话有感觉辜负了他们辜负了自己，也许我不该在这里胡思乱想。

就说这些吧，最近真的压力很大，谢谢你们的支持，但我不知道能坚持多久......

Because there's a lot to say, but I'm afraid the translator will make a mistake. So let me briefly explain my current state of mind.

On Friday, I'll be changing jobs again, this time with a lot more to do.

In May, our studio will once again host a player-as-player League of Legends tournament. I still hold the position of OB (controlling the game perspective for the audience to watch)

In June, the studio will hold an online virtual concert. So I'm learning Unreal Engine 5 from scratch.

After the online virtual concert is over, the studio will have to choose future goals, and I will follow others to make other projects.

Perhaps you won't believe that the work in the studio is unpaid.

A recent purchase of a new computer has left me about $1,300 in debt. I thought I could play the game for a while, but I didn't have the time. I have a lot of work to do, and the pressure is getting bigger.

Lately I've been feeling like a child locked in a room who can't cry. I am confused about the future, I don't know what I need to do, and I feel my heart is very empty. Let's hope it doesn't last long.

I can't guarantee that I'll be able to reliably update in the next two months, and even if I do, I can't guarantee the quality. I hope you can understand.

But, thank you so much for your support. ：）