Luxury

*Patreon flagged the photo used here as explicit (even though both women were wearing lingerie) - I’ve removed it to comply with their request. This often happens when I pair a non-explicit photo with explicit writing.

I always identified as a person who didn’t like receiving oral sex. It just didn’t do it for me. It takes long for me to orgasm, and I need to really relax… and it’s difficult to really relax if you’re anxious that the person going down on you wishes you’d hurry up.

Knowing now that my clit is so tiny and hidden, this makes sense. I’m a hitachi girl, I like a chainsaw approach. I need a lot of stimulation to get there. With oral it takes me time to warm up.

Max thinks there’s nothing more luxurious than oral sex. “Lay back, and let me take care of you.” That’s her love language. When we first started dating and I fussed about how long I take, she countered, “I love it so much I wish you’d take longer.” I was a little dumb struck. But this comment gave me permission to relax and take as long as I needed.

Gold Medalist (in soccer but also probably in pussy eating) Abby Wambach has said she feels like when her wife Glennon interrupts to say “I’m taking long, let’s just do something else” it’s feels like she’s cutting in on her fun. It’s been so helpful for me to hear people say this out loud, that they don’t mind if it takes a while, that the challenge is part of what turns them on. The perfect reminder for an anxious girl like me.

Now I ask for it. I crave it. I ask Max nicely and she beams. She considers it a point of pride that she has changed me into a girl who loves getting head. She’s happy to oblige.

I think this is an issue for a lot of women. They worry they take too long, or worry about how they look, they worry about their hair, their smell, their taste. They worry the other person isn’t enjoying it. It’s hard to relax. Of course there’s nothing wrong with deciding something isn’t for you, and your boundaries about what your body enjoys are yours to create, but shame shouldn’t be the reason you can’t enjoy something.

(And I’m happy to be able to enjoy one of life’s simple pleasures.)

Photo by Guy New York: Heart & Piper