Holidaze

I’m sitting alone in a quiet house after walking the dog under the full moon. I’ve got all the candles going (including this adorable bunny candle from Ms.O) and I burned some cedar, lavender, and part of a snakeskin I found in the forest. The cedar is for protection, the lavender is for friendship and connection and the snakeskin is to dispel negative energy, wash away bad vibes. It’s the last full moon of this wild fucking painful year. It felt important to take some time to honour it.

This past week has been full of bad vibes, and so much bullshit, but I kept my eye on the prize and the kids had a great Christmas, and that’s what really matters. I’ve squeezed so many happy moments out of this hell year hell holiday. And even though I keep having to set boundaries and be tough, I’m getting better at it and it’s actually getting easier.

Here are some of the lighter moments:

We went to a Dark Sky Preserve for solstice, hoping to see the Jupiter/Saturn conjunction. It was cloudy! We saw nothing! How very 2020! But we hiked across the frozen lake and had a snowball fight and a wrestle in the dark forest. I love this picture, it represents this whole year so well.

I bought myself a new robe! It’s super soft and warm and velvety and it has peonies and cranes on it. Excellent gift-to-self.

Max got me a stocking full of treats and sweets and high-end honey-dipped kief-rolled indica spliffs!!! Totally the kind of thing I would NEVER spend money on, but a luxury I ABSOLUTELY enjoyed. She also bought me this adorable elephant pendant, proceeds went to elephant conservation. We’ve named him Lou, Louis if we’re being formal.

My favourite thing about the holidays is spoiling everyone with presents. My second favourite thing is reviewing beautiful handmade gifts from all of the kids I know and love. My own kids are old enough that their Christmas crafts were mostly memes, but my neighbours kiddo sent this delightful card and beautiful ornament and it tickled me as much as my nieces drawing of me with pink and purple rapunzel hair.

Me me me under the Christmas tree! 🎄

Woke up to a winter wonderland. I love when everything’s covered in snow. Looks like a fairy tale. But then...

We’re on lockdown so we cancelled our usual holiday plans, dropped gifts on porches and went for a winter walk... and came across the most METAL Christmas sight, a hawk took a pigeon out in midair and just fucking ate it. Right there on the sidewalk! Merry Christmas!!!

Another really thoughtful gift I got was from one of my brothers. A few weeks ago he sent me a video of an Arctic hare hopping across an avalanche. You can google the video, it’s hard to even understand what you’re seeing, but it’s incredible. I joked that it was a visual representation of my year. He replied “Keep fucking going 👏👏👏☺️” and I felt warmed by his kindness. On Christmas Day ge delivered this necklace. Just a trinket, but sentimental value through the roof. It makes me smile every time I look at it.

A good reminder talisman.

Sugar plum kisses 💕

This adorable pouch from a friend was from a series called “anxious animal portraits” 😂

Since it’s lockdown again I’ve been spending a lot of time drinking tea and working on this god forsaken puzzle. It’s bare skin and roses so the whole thing is 2 colours of soft warm petals and parts. It’s infuriating and the perfect distraction from all of the absolute emotional fuckery this past week has served.

How are you all hanging in there? Holiday hangover kicking in? Thanks to the folks who said hi! Don’t be shy.