Deepest Apologies: October/Indefinite pause (update)

(TLDR at the end) -

As I am writing this, I will be waiting to pause payments for October (it is not available yet). - I would also like to apologize in advance for the rambling nature of this post. My thoughts are not clear right now.

————-

I am currently still substituting teaching (FT/OT), and currently do not have the headspace to figure out content. So naturally, October will be paused.

How long until I can hold a pencil again? I frankly don’t know anymore. The most truthful answer is I simply haven’t been able to. I have a lot of ideas, but no desire to draw them. The strange thing is, this has never happened before in my 8 years of content creation, the way I dropped cold turkey. I had always picked myself back up, but this time is different. I just couldn’t. Not right now. I don’t know when, of if I will ever be able to. I just don’t know.

Naturally, I can’t (and won’t) charge if I’m not producing content, especially here. So I’m pausing until I pick myself back up again, or start drawing once more.

I’ve also realized I’ve been really, really unhappy for a long time, and the recent death in family made me finally admit it. I’ve slowly fallen out of love with drawing, and constantly fell into a cycle where I would compare myself with other paid creators.

I also have a “Sanity Meter” with kinky stuff. It gets old fast, so I need to lighten it every once in a while. I know the top earners draw the most extreme stuff, something I can’t ever do.

I realized, I don’t know what I want to do anymore. I have no desire to do anything creative or go outside. If you’re on the discord, you will know I’ve been spending a ton of free time playing Genshin Impact - it’s kept me happy. Happy, or distracted? Happily distracted? Both, lol..

I just.. don’t know when I will be drawing again. I also don’t want to delete this page, because I’ve invested so much time and effort into it, even built a commmunity. It was the only thing I built all on my own, with no outside input. I simply don’t have the heart to delete 3 years’ worth of content. But I’m also at a standstill - so now this place is just a placeholder. No one new can sign up, only exit. I got so far but events set me back so far down. If you feel the need to leave all this time, I don’t blame you. I completely understand and wish you the best.

I need time to figure myself out.

Thank you for your time and patience.

-Cherry

Maybe if I draw something, it will be posted for paid members only. But what are the chances at this time? :”v

************

TLDR: indefinite pause (for now) until I can pick up a pencil again and figure things out.