Brother Bewitched 40
Added 2024-06-17 02:06:16 +0000 UTCAsryn and Serrenia get to know each other. The players align as wedding day approaches.
Comments
Glad you liked it! Thanks for the review!
Taylor Galen Kadee
2024-07-01 04:45:54 +0000 UTCSorry, I thought I made a review of this but I guess. I didn't amazing work as always. Two girls on each other, then the strong man Devin comes in It says he must have both women and I submit to his sexy male dominance. Good chapter. Look forward to the next one and see what happened to the craze king princess.
Joseph c guillory
2024-06-27 21:13:56 +0000 UTCGreat idea! It would really be nice if you go in this direction. Foreshadowing gives your story more depth and a sense of fate! (🙂 Remember the three sorcererd forecasting in Macbeth ☝️🧙) On the opposite, a wrong forecast weakens the story. Example : the fascinating scene you wrote featuring lady Arthur and Lancelot watching a male squirrel chasing a female white one through the trees. I was absolutely convinced it forecasted an idyll between the knight and the princess king... And nothing happens! Lancelot poorly choosing to have sex with a dumb pixie instead... 😢 I bring to your knowledge the trick of some writer whose name I forgot, aiming to bring more sense and consistenty to his story. When starting a novel, the guy wrote in the same move both the first and last page of his story. So he set the start and the beginning of the novel with the same energetic spirit you get at the very start of a trip. And as he knew where he was going, it automatically structured all his writing for a minimalist cognitive load Maybe you will find this useful.
Alexia
2024-06-19 08:00:38 +0000 UTCI will do my best. I do hope to provide a good ending for everyone. Thanks for all your comments!
Taylor Galen Kadee
2024-06-19 03:21:01 +0000 UTCI feel the Devin character makes this version of the story interesting with a much different dynamic. I would like to do more writerly things in the future where there is foreshadowing, or scenes and comments that make sense much later in the story.
Taylor Galen Kadee
2024-06-19 03:20:21 +0000 UTCThank you so much. I did spend a bit of time on that "look."
Taylor Galen Kadee
2024-06-19 03:18:12 +0000 UTCI'm always hoping to give enough but leave room for the reader's imagination to conjure up some nice images and moments. I suppose I am prone to be too brief!
Taylor Galen Kadee
2024-06-19 03:17:52 +0000 UTCOne last word: It seems to me that you have all the ingredients for a great ending. Please don't hurry. 🙏 You've surely reached the right moment to wrap up the story, but don't do it abruptly. Take some time to polish it because this nice story deserves it. 🙂
Alexia
2024-06-19 01:37:16 +0000 UTCI also love Devin's strong and dominating male figure. It's nice to have him balance the otherwise overwhelming power of the goddess' servants. The conversation between Paternia and her witch is interesting. It effectively resolves a consistency issue in the storyline that I hadn't noticed before. There's no doubt in my mind that the magical power protecting Nina comes from the wizard hired by Devin. Now, I understand the conversation between Devin and his wizard much better.
Alexia
2024-06-19 01:34:44 +0000 UTCI love the picture of Asryn surrendering to Devin. She has a cute and innocent look that Serenina unfortunately lost in the last episode due to mature and sexy makeup.
Alexia
2024-06-19 01:30:47 +0000 UTCWhen Serren and Asryn started to play together, I was moderately interested. I told myself: OK, it's still a variation of the old 'as we are both girls, let's have girl-to-girl action so we can more or less pretend we are still boys.' But Devin's irruption changed all that for a much better story, in my opinion. More than the threesome itself, I love Devin's attitude and Asryn's surrender. Intense scene, but unfortunately short. It appeals to comments and girls' talk...
Alexia
2024-06-19 01:13:17 +0000 UTCRight. She has no idea. Also, she is crazy!
Taylor Galen Kadee
2024-06-17 20:07:05 +0000 UTCThanks!
Taylor Galen Kadee
2024-06-17 20:06:40 +0000 UTCI do like to keep people a little surprised!
Taylor Galen Kadee
2024-06-17 20:06:29 +0000 UTCA threesome is a big surprise. Will devon have two brides? And seren's sister is crazy. I wonder what she would say If she knew about how Their father really thinks of His son. Even Before he became a girl.
Joseph c guillory
2024-06-17 19:19:25 +0000 UTCGood episode! 🙂
Alexia
2024-06-17 12:42:18 +0000 UTCWow I did not expect a threesome
Joe Blow78
2024-06-17 11:09:54 +0000 UTC
