XaiJu
cornbringer
cornbringer

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UPDATE.

I know I've been missing. I had a terrible month, on and off sickness, and lack of will to write altogether.

I think with everything that had happened before, the hurricanes, my constant debuff of being sick, and other stuff, I was reaching the point of burnout. Not because I was writing too much, that has never been the problem... I like writing, but I was reaching the point of no return because outside factors were pressing down on me, more and more.

At the beginning of this month I got sick. Nothing bad, mind you, but I was sick, and despite this thing not being as bad as anything else I had suffered, medically speaking, it just... drained me.

I didn't want to write, read, watch tv, anything other than just be on the bed, wondering my my ceiling is white if the walls are blue, it felt like I was stappling my balls every time I tried to do anything productive or fun for that matter.

It was a weird sensation. I mean, I know what it feels wanting to do nothing, as in, just chilling and playing, normally that's what my wanting to do nothing means: Having Fun.

This was the first time I ever... truly wanted to do nothing. I just wanted to sleep and that's it. Hell I even lost my appetite, if it wasn't for my wife lovingly shoving food at my face, I probably would've just... eaten when extremely necessary.

Eventually, this feeling vanished. And once again, I started writing. Initially, I tried to return to Naruto, but damn, I would find myself in the loop I like to call, the writer's hell, which is rewriting the same chapter, over... and over... and over again, and never feeling it's right.

My wife recommended I tried working on other stuff, to allow the creative muscle I was using for the Naruto project to rest for a bit, and so I did. First I started with DBZ idea, because... well, I love DBZ, and while the show has almost no story to work with, meaning is very linear, I just loved it.

I won't lie and say: OMG, as soon as I started writing something different my brain was like, hell yeah baby, wooooo!

On the contrary, I was like: What do I do?

I had ideas, but I just couldn't implement them, every time I tried to write I would end up with version of Takeshi in the world of DBZ with the first chapter lacking that... first chapter charm, instead feeling like you were reading the story from the middle.

But at least, I was writing, and it wasn't as bad as when I was writing with Naruto.

I continued experimenting with random ideas, anything that came to mind. From Harry Potter to Supernatural, and with each creative struggle, it became easier and easier to write. I guess the best way to describe it was that... I didn't feel like I was swimming against the current anymore.

So, once I felt I had recovered my mojo, I came back to Naruto, today, on XMAS, and well, I wrote a chapter without feeling anything bad.

I learned a few things during this... journey I took.

One, I need to find a way to deal with my stress, putting in on the back and pretending it doesn't affect me just hurts me more.

Two, I need to balance myself better. I was already under a ton of stress and my dumb ass thought the best thing to do was post 2 to 3 chapters a day on Webnovel, because that's what I needed, a bigger workload.

Three, I need to do more than one thing. Even if that second thing isn't something I will post or share. Giving all your mind to a single project, overtime, turns something you once loved into something you want to burn with a flamethrower.

Anyway, for those here that want to know when I will be updating on webnovel. Tomorrow, the 25th. One chapter a day, Sunday to Friday. Saturdays will be my day to waste as I see it fit. I won't do double chapters, stone events for more, anything like that anymore, at least not for the foreseeable future.

Love you all, a very tired but happy to be back, Corn. 

Comments

Been married for two years now. I love my little gremlin, hahaha.

DocTock

You have a wife that’s crazy

Wyatt Coney

Mental blocks are the worse, but welcome back

EmmericH.

Happy to Help! Marvel Gamer Path introduced me to your work and helped me during my own difficult time when my dad passed. So I’m glad I could help out in a small way. Also I know this is totally off topic but you mentioned it and I can’t stop thinking about a Supernatural story by you. Is there a chance? Maybe? Sorry I’m a supernatural fan and there’s not that many good fics out there Lol.

Jkmurph847

Thanks, I really needed to read this.

DocTock

Glad to have you back! Also I have authors I like to read who update maybe 4 chapters a month if we’re lucky and in my opinion your quality of works is insane! So I think I can speak for a lot of us when we say write when you feel like it. As someone who lost their own father just over a year ago I can tell you that it is insanely easy to fall into that hole and hard as hell to climb out. I’m glad you have a good support system and are feeling better. Praise Corn!

Jkmurph847

I am, thanks. The time I took just... messing around with any idea I had really reignited my love for writing, so we all owe that to Miss Corn.

DocTock

Yeah, I think I was in denial about my goals being unrealistic. Pretending the stress wasn't there. Writing used to be fun, something I would do and feel like I was having the time of my life. I don't know at what point I turned that into something draining, and at this point it doesn't matter. I'm just glad I realized what I was doing to myself before I started hating all of this.

DocTock

Glad your okay Corn

TheRagFromTheCrag

Good to hear you are doing better and setting a bit more reasonable goals for yourself. IMO it would be perfectly reasonable to take a break over the holidays and start again strong in the new year, but if you feel like posting chapters then I'm sure folks would love to read them over the holidays. Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays.

LongSongGolden

no probleem man we alle go troug divernt probleems man jou just haaf to keep going that life but i am happy to jouw got jour mojo back i will pray for bless and happy holidays

Larsiebo J


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