Derideal 11 - 40+41
Added 2023-01-12 13:26:57 +0000 UTCI'm thinking I could remove this page, and the story would work just the same.
what do you think? I could remove page 40 and just leave 41
anyway, needs text revisions!
Comments
You could remove it and the pacing might marginally improve but the tension is pretty notable and might bring better emotions to the flow
Kit Foxboy
2023-01-12 21:16:26 +0000 UTCsomeone didn't wanted to take any chances xd
Andrés Barra
2023-01-12 14:58:38 +0000 UTCThat's a lot of explosives.
Arcticfox
2023-01-12 13:56:08 +0000 UTCI think it can stay.
Jailen
2023-01-12 13:43:41 +0000 UTCI'm just considering it because this episode got too long for it own sake, but I also like the dyanmic this page brings before the explosion.
Andrés Barra
2023-01-12 13:39:54 +0000 UTCNot really: it would remove the action of "Ivory" trying to save her companion. Thus, reduce the importance of their relationship after they've lost their original memories. It would make the page with the explosion less impact on both the readers and characters involved.
Shadow
2023-01-12 13:33:32 +0000 UTC
