XaiJu
derideal
derideal

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Derideal 11 - 40+41

I'm thinking I could remove this page, and the story would work just the same.

what do you think? I could remove page 40 and just leave 41


anyway, needs text revisions!

Derideal 11 - 40+41 Derideal 11 - 40+41 Derideal 11 - 40+41

Comments

You could remove it and the pacing might marginally improve but the tension is pretty notable and might bring better emotions to the flow

Kit Foxboy

someone didn't wanted to take any chances xd

Andrés Barra

That's a lot of explosives.

Arcticfox

I think it can stay.

Jailen

I'm just considering it because this episode got too long for it own sake, but I also like the dyanmic this page brings before the explosion.

Andrés Barra

Not really: it would remove the action of "Ivory" trying to save her companion. Thus, reduce the importance of their relationship after they've lost their original memories. It would make the page with the explosion less impact on both the readers and characters involved.

Shadow


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