XaiJu
clefchan
clefchan

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January Photoshoot

Hello my dear patreons. After 2 weeks of hell, I got a day off  of pain and took the opportunity to try my home made studio ( since I can't get out to make pictures)
I took some casual pictures I'll show you during the next days. I did this especially for Patreon. Patreon is one of the only thing that makes me fight more than I would if I only had a facebook page. Each day I wake up telling myself : I must do something for Patreon.
You may find this stupid. But I need this motivation to not let down. I know you are here and that you are supporting me with money, so I must provide content.   It makes me keep fighting.

I also did the acquisition of a kitty cat. She is also a reason for me to try and get up everyday. I need to force myslef to be here for her and to be here for you. It helps me.

After this photoshoot, I couldn't get up for the  whole next day. My body was limp and my brain was having like electric attacks. Today I feel drained but I'm happy I took theses pictures. I'm still here, I'm still alive, I'm still fighting. And you are one of the reasons I do.

Thank you.

January Photoshoot

Comments

muchas graçias Eliana , I'm so touched/

dicen que muchas veces nadie mas que tu puede saber como te sientes, por muy cierto que sea estamos aqui para apoyarte, como amiga aunque no te conozca, porque quizas por algo llegamos aqui, quizas para apoyarte en estos momentos. Fight! smile whenever

c'est très très dur.Par moment je ne me reconnais plus tellement mon cerveau est empli de désespoir qui n'est pas moi. Je sais que c'est pas moi qui parle mais cette chose qui attaque mon cerveau. C'est pour ça que Patreon m'aide à tenter de rester à flots. Même si il y a beaucoup de jours ou je ne peux pas bouger, je pense à le faire des que j'ai la Force.

It is really hard. If I was only listening to my brain I wouldn't do anything anymore. Some days it is like someone else is in my body , I don't recognize myself. I have some weird attacks coming from my brain and I know that is because I have boreliose bacteria and some more attacking it. I need to push very hard to to things ,to passe de dyziness and pain to bring back motivation and energy from where it is very deep burried . I know some days I dont have enough energy to even lift my legs. But I want to try anyway. I am very afraid of a day where my attacked brain would take over and stop myself to hope and believe I could heal. I know it can happen. I see it around me with the other's people that have the same disease. Im not religious but I do hope some mystic and positive force will help me to stay strong and hopeful. That is why you people are very important to me. You remind me each day to stay strong.

Merci aussi !!! Peu de personnes auraient ton courage, de nous offrir un tel sourire quand on sait ce que tu endures, Chapeau bas mam'zelle !!! ;-)

Thank you for your courage and strength - seeing you fighting as hard as you can, even when victories might seem small, helps me remember not to give up. Every victory is important, even rolling face-up when it just plain hurts.

C'est fort de ta part d'avoir le courage de faire un maximum de choses pendant tes bref moments de répit ! Mais tu as raison, c'est ce qu'il faut faire ! Superbe photo en tout cas !

Keep fighting love. You're gorgeous.


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