new music video! and a hello! and... the future??

hihihi.

still no baby yet!! but it feels super super nuts to know she could make her appearance ANY DAY. life feels VERY WEIRD. very surreal. overwhelming. exciting. strange. we have no idea what is to come but we know that it is monumental. holy smokes.

for the last music video of the album, it felt right to share a bit more about our journey getting here. i wrote a little blurb on our ivf journey and how it pertains to my song "light" in particular. it is below!!

so. i was hoooooping we might pull off one final coffee date before my little hiatus begins, but between pulling the last pieces of the album release together and preparing for this little person's arrival, i'm not sure it's going to happen 😭i'm not exactly sure what these next few months will look like, but i think there is a good chance i will take a few months to really soak this time in, be present, and adjust to life with this baby! i have prepared some covers to come out in the next months, so i won't be completely absent from the internet, but i do think i will be pulling back a bit while we adjust to this new norm. i will do my best to let you know i am still alive and give little updates when i can!!

welp. here we go. sending you all so much love!! thanks for being the ultimate best ever. 

xoxo

kina

oh ps--"light" mp3 download is attached!

-- here's my post on the new song "light" and my ivf journey! --

before starting ivf, the idea of it was crushing to me. i deeply wanted to believe that it would be possible for us to conceive naturally, and involving modern medicine felt cold and sterile and somehow less magical. but as time went on, my heart broke one too many times, and eventually i knew i was ready. i also knew if we were going to take this path, the last thing i wanted was to feel like a victim. as someone surrounded by friends and family getting pregnant with ease (and as someone with a needle phobia!), this was easier said than done.⁣
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but life's circumstances ended up being my greatest teachers (as per usual), and after a lot of tears and processing, i began to embrace my path. we emptied out the room we'd hoped might become a nursery one day and created a sacred place for my daily injections. each day, before i gave myself 3-4 shots, we sat, lit a candle, put on some music, said some words of intention, and meditated over my syringes to try and infuse them with as much love as possible. what i feared would be cold and sterile became one of the most love-filled and sacred experiences of my life, and how we ended up bringing our daughter into the world now feels like the most meaningful and powerful way we could have done it.⁣
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the footage for the "light" music video is from our third ivf egg retrieval, which (like most of ivf) was an emotional roller coaster. after my daily blood draw and scan, we would walk in the woods and try to talk ourselves back to being whole. every day a new worry or fear would arise, and we would spend the next many hours trying to remind ourselves to surrender, to keep open, to keep learning, to keep looking for the love that was still in our lives. the hardest part was working to believe that if at the end of all of this there still was no baby--we would still find joy, we would still create meaning and purpose in our lives, and we would still, ultimately, eventually, be okay. though that headspace was tricky to find and trickier to stay in, there was so much beauty in accessing that delicate little place where the light lives. touching that spot is what this song, "light", is about.⁣
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