Three More Days... (An essay on sharing?)
Added 2017-05-09 22:56:18 +0000 UTCThree more days until "When Will I Learn", the first song from my new album, comes out.
I am simultaneously feeling the giddy anticipation that comes from knowing a piece of myself is about to be shared with the world, along with the pure dread that that piece of myself might be rejected. I get this feeling every time I'm about to share something I care about. Like all my songs, it is a piece of me--of my past, my hopes, my dreams, my fears, my struggles--scrawled out onto a page, sung out into the void, and on Friday it will be set free into the world. Free for people to listen to and connect with... or scrutinize and leave condescending YouTube comments about. And though I know the latter is inevitable, it makes it worth it if there is one person on the other side of my computer who needed it. Who feels what I felt when I wrote it and who needed to feel a little less alone in that. So here's for hoping there's at least one of you...
Sharing yourself can be scary. It still makes me feel sick every time. But when you share, you free a little part of yourself, and you become a little more you, and you are a little less in hiding, and that is one of the best feelings in the world. I've spent a lot of my life in hiding. And while I somehow have gotten to a place where I regularly share vulnerable parts of myself through my music, it's something I still very much struggle with in real life and have been working hard to overcome.
Didn't know where I was going when I started writing this, but I think I just therapized myself into remembering that even though a little part of me wants to throw up when I imagine you all listening to my song on Friday, that sharing is good and important and something I am supposed to do.
So, I guess that's that.
Love you guys. xo
Kina
Comments
Haw are you
2017-09-16 05:55:40 +0000 UTC❤️
2017-07-04 11:51:12 +0000 UTCI love your honesty. It makes me feel more human. :-) Because you are a human, experiencing things. In your own way. Love ya!!
Pete James
2017-05-20 02:06:29 +0000 UTCthank you for the bit about the scariness of sharing. it's given me the courage today to keep working on my profile. i never imagined i would sing for people. and i never imagined there might be a possibility to receive support for making songs. it's daunting to begin! may you have a magnificent tour!
2017-05-13 17:50:46 +0000 UTCYou continue to inspire and amaze Kina. Thank you for sharing #ProudPatron
2017-05-12 02:21:08 +0000 UTCThere's one thing to always remember about negative comments, including even abusive ones: They're all from LISTENERS! Another thing to remember: You may wish to inspire only happy/positive reactions, or on occasion empathetic/sad reactions, but anger is also a valid reaction. The artist does NOT get to choose or control the listener's reaction! The worst outcome is no reaction at all. Total apathy. All those listeners who couldn't be bothered to say anything one way or the other. The big 'meh'. I'd say even sarchastic or mean comments are far better than a silent 'don't care'.
BobC
2017-05-11 04:37:25 +0000 UTCI love posts like this Kina. Thank you for being brave. I can relate in too many ways so I appreciate you coming out and being real with us.
2017-05-10 20:42:05 +0000 UTCReminds me, I recently listened to the audiobook by Anderson Cooper and Gloria Vanderbilt, *The Rainbow Comes and Goes: A Mother and Son on Life, Love, and Loss.* She advised her son to understand “a difference between being open to constructive criticism and letting jealous strangers say cruel things to you that make you feel bad about yourself.” The latter says more about the critic than you. They have no desire to help their target improve, only to distract themselves from their own pain. They have no power, they're just noise. But your music keeps reaching past the noise, and I am happy for that. Oh also, currently listening Pema Chodron. She talks about becoming fearless by smiling at fear. Smile at fear, Kina.
2017-05-10 20:27:28 +0000 UTCI think thats the reason why we like being part of this family. This is not about mainstream or trying to be something we are not. Here we know we are surrounded by real people. Cant wait for fridaaaay!!
2017-05-10 18:10:55 +0000 UTC"But when you share, you free a little part of yourself, and you become a little more you, and you are a little less in hiding" this is so incredibly true, and very easy to forget. The web has made it so easy for us to curate our interactions with the outside world -- even in leaving this comment I've edited my writing several times. Putting yourself out there, taking a leap to create, is not just for people who are brave or "made for it", but a good exercise for everyone who wants to be free.
2017-05-10 16:57:51 +0000 UTCBut Kina, we already love you. The kindness, compassion, and softness that is you are just a tiny portion of the reasons why. How could we not fully appreciate more insight into your beautiful soul? How could we not have profound respect and appreciation for allowing yourself to be vulnerable? How could we not love your love of helping people? Friday will be a day of love and liberation.
2017-05-10 15:22:02 +0000 UTCI appreciate your honesty everytime. <3
Rafaela
2017-05-10 14:18:04 +0000 UTC
