Dungeon Myst Part 29

"Hellooooooo Nurse!" Vivian said when she saw the attractive redhead follow Myst out of the portal wearing a sheer nurse's outfit.

"Hello yourself," Amy replied with a grin as she looked at the naked blue haired girl that looked a few years younger than her.

"Where did you find the girls?" Vivian asked Myst as she glanced over the rest of the girls.

"I was practicing my wench conjuration skill," Myst replied as he glanced around the courtyard, wanting to make sure nothing was on fire or anything. "Did you run into any problems while I was gone?"

Vivian reluctantly pulled her attention off the gorgeous redhead in the sheer nurse's outfit and glanced at the rest of the girls. "Nothing serious, just a couple of dead skeletons because the dwarf was being greedy about the mithril node."

"Do I need to have a chat with him?" Myst asked, annoyed that he'd have to teach more skeletons to mine.

Vivian snickered. "Nah, I dealt with the problem or at least distracted him with alcohol and a pair of twins after I gave him a pink lemon and used the magic girl hat on him."

"Can the twins teach mining?" Myst asked hopefully.

"Nope," Vivian replied then continued when Myst sighed, "they can instantly teach people Dwarven Gemstone Mining which is better."

Myst smiled when he realized that she wasn't joking about them being able to teach an insanely valuable skill. "Fantastic, I'll have to get them to teach some of the undead and just park them on the node."

"That's the plan," Vivian agreed. "Can I get introductions?"

"Alanna, Fiona, Leah, Rain and Amy," Myst replied as he pointed to each of the girls. "Girls, this is Vivian, otherwise known as the girl you talk to if you want sisters."

"Sisters?" Amy asked, not sure what he was talking about.

"One of my magic abilities lets me create siblings of people, they'll stick around assuming you're willing to have sex with them," Vivian explained.

"Hell yeah!" Alanna exclaimed cheerfully, looking forward to having sisters.

Leah shrugged. "I wouldn't mind having sisters."

"Might as well," Rain offered, looking forward to having someone to help her research.

"Speaking of twins, let's get your magic squared away," Myst said as he pulled one of the better wizarding magic crystals out of his bag and tossed it to Vivian. "You might as well use it, it gives really nice mana regeneration."

Vivian used the magic granting crystal, opened her sheet and looked at her magic. "One hundred points and one mana a second, nice!"

"Most of the wizards had between forty to fifty points of magic," Myst replied as he handed each of the wenches two of the magic crystals, leaving him with one crystal. He used the crystal, boosting his host's magic up to a hundred and five. "You should be able to pull up your character sheet by thinking about it. Once you have your sheet up you can use the crystals by focusing on using them or by dragging them to your character doll. After that, we'll get you signed up for magic school and you can spend some time with Vivian so she can give you siblings."

Fiona used the crystals and smiled when she saw her magic stat jump up to eighty seven. "I'm going to need a genie costume."

Myst reached out and patted Fiona on her behind. "I'm sure we can find someone to make one."

"Awesome," Fiona agreed, looking forward to getting out of the ugly robes she was wearing.

"Before I steal the girls for a bit of debauchery, do you want twins for your current host?" Vivian asked.

"That's the plan, I just need to grab a better magic trinket first and get the minions raiding Ikea," Myst replied as he walked back over to the portal, touched the frame and changed the portal to the Infinite Ikea.

Alanna pulled her attention away from the strange tree in the courtyard and focused on Myst. "Why are you skull fucking Ikea's insurance rates?"

"Because they're evil," Myst replied with a laugh. "Kidding, mostly. The portal actually goes to a pocket dimension filled with Ikea merchandise, it's basically a never ending or at least massive Ikea store filled with monsters at night. Speaking of monsters, I have a bunch of undead minions and gremlins, try not to kill them."

"Undead minions?" Fiona asked warily.

"They're cheap, disposable and you can scour their bones with cleaning spells which is a hell of a lot better than zombies…" Myst trailed off as he saw a suspiciously familiar and scruffy looking person walking towards the portal carrying a magazine. "Hello?"

"Is that a portal?" the man asked as he walked over.

"Yes," Myst replied, wondering how long it had been since the man had washed his clothes.

"Is there any chance that you can send us back?" he asked, studying the attractive girls that looked like cultists.

"I doubt it," Myst admitted, not seeing a reason to give him false hope.

"Excellent," the man replied, relaxing a bit once he realized that they couldn't send him back. "Do you have any beer?"

Myst briefly considered telling the man that alcohol wouldn't solve his problems before deciding that he wasn't that much of an ass. He used his food conjuration spell to conjure a mug of beer and handed it to the man. "Here."

The man glanced between the beer and the girl in a cultist robe. "You're not going to try to claim my soul if I drink this, right?"

"Is it actually worth anything?" Myst asked, fairly sure the man wouldn't have believed him if he said no.

"No," he replied and took a drink, savoring the taste of the first beer he'd had in three years.

"Do you have a name or any useful skills?" Myst asked.

"Al Bundy and I sold women's shoes before I found this little slice of purgatory," Al replied with a shrug.

"Purgatory?" Leah asked.

Al finished another drink. "It would be heaven if they actually had beer or football games."

"I can probably help you out with the beer, how do you feel about teaching people how to bowl?" Myst asked, figuring that was safer than asking him to teach people how to sell shoes, mostly because he was a sarcastic bastard in the show, then again he'd lasted a hell of a lot longer as a shoe salesman than he would have considering some of the customers he remembered from the show.

"Do you have a bowling alley?" Al asked, wondering how much his game had suffered over the last three years.

"Not yet but I'm sure we can figure something out," Myst assured him.

"This is my first beer in three years, I'm willing to do a lot for a decent supply of alcohol… even work," Al assured him.

"Good to know," Myst replied. "Have you run into anyone in the Ikea that wants to leave?"

"Most of the idiots want to find their way home," Al replied, not sure why anyone would want to go back to a dead end job.

"And you don't?" Vivian asked.

"I don't have to pay rent, the toilets never clog, we get free food and I get to beat the shit out of the staff on a regular basis, what's not to like?" Al asked. "Best part, I don't have to deal with my wife…" he trailed off when a pack of skeletons came into view. "What's with the skeletons?"

"Free labor," Myst replied. "How many people are trapped?"

Al watched the skeletons as they ran towards them, wondering where the wires were since he couldn't see any. 'Might have built in motors,' he mused, deciding to play along for the time being, if only because the girl could conjure beer. "I'm staying with a couple of strippers, there's a couple of cultists that are running from a 'demon lord' that we occasionally trade with, there's a group of nuns that have managed to find each other, half a dozen cultists that run around wearing the clothes they stole from the staff and ranting about a spaghetti lord that is going to save them any day now and a couple of military vets that have a few jars of screws loose but are otherwise decent folk."

"Do you want…" Myst trailed off when he turned around to check on the skeletons and Buffy was standing there in her magic girl costume.

"I smell coffee!" Buffy exclaimed cheerfully.

"All you can drink," Al assured her, recognizing a fellow addict.

"Al was just telling us about the people he'd run into in the Ikea, do you want to make friends and liberate some coffee?" Myst asked Buffy, wanting someone that could fight to make the rounds in case the isolation and idiotic staff had driven the survivors completely around the bend.

"Yes!" Buffy replied as she headed through the portal, looking forward to getting a decent pot of coffee.

"If you help her out and introduce her to people, I'll give you a keg of beer," Myst offered.

"Deal," Al agreed, knowing he still had a few hours until the store 'closed' and the monstrous staff changed to night mode and started attacking everyone.

"I'll leave you to it," Myst replied as he turned to look at the couple of intelligent undead that were mixed in with the trolloc skeletons. "Start looting the area around the portal, we need tables and beds for the gremlins to take apart."

"Understood," the skeleton replied.

'Worst case, we can drop them off in Harry's world,' Myst mused as he turned and headed for the inn. "Let's go."

0o0o0

Buffy glanced between the display model of a decent looking table and the boxes filled with tables, wondering if the instructions were written in a language Xander and Dawn could read since most of the names on the boxes were less comprehensible than the names of some of the demons she'd killed. "Have you actually tried to build anything?"

"There are plenty of display models," Al replied, not seeing a point in admitting that following directions wasn't his strong suit.

"I want two dozen tables," Buffy ordered the collection of skeletons that were 'slowly' clearing the shelves of anything that looked remotely useful. "Coffee and meatballs are that way, right?" she said, pointing in the direction she could smell the coffee.

"Good nose," Al said as they headed toward the restaurant.

Buffy frowned when she noticed an ugly Ikea employee walking down the aisle towards them. "Do you normally kill them or leave them alone during the day?"

"It's not worth it during the day, if you start attacking them, they'll continue attacking you until you're dead or they are and any employee that sees the fight will join in which causes problems and that's actually Bob, he's an accountant. There was an accident with chili a couple of months ago, his pants were completely unsalvageable," Al explained.

"I thought we weren't going to mention that," Bob complained as he got closer.

"I was just explaining why she shouldn't kill you," Al replied.

"Most people can tell the difference between humans and the actual employees," Bob argued.

"She's new," Al replied with a shrug.

"My condolences," Bob offered.

"I've got a way out, just follow the line of skeletons," Buffy replied as they continued toward the restaurant.

"Where?" Bob asked, not having seen any skeletons moving around.

Buffy gestured behind them. "That way and two aisles over, you can't miss them."

"Wait, you're telling me that you have a way out?" Bob asked in disbelief and hope.

"It's not like I'd joke about something like that," Al complained, knowing that most of the people wanted to return home or at least escape.

"Thank you!" Bob blurted out before running off to confirm that people had a way out.

"He seemed really eager to leave," Buffy mused, thinking of her time in the hell dimension in L.A. and the broken people that she'd rescued.

"The place drives most people a bit off kilter. Just don't make any sudden moves and you'll be fine, some of the people need a vacation from their vacation," Al said as they reached the restaurant and saw the locals that liked exchanging stories. "I found someone with a way out."

Buffy glanced between the various groups of people that looked like they needed showers and fresh clothes, as well as some time with a shrink in a couple of cases. "I can't get you home but we can get you somewhere else."

"Sounds good!" one of the guys that was wearing faded military fatigues called out.

0o0o0

Vivian glanced away from the group of gremlins that were assembling the solid frost iron table in the middle of the inn and watched the group of catgirls that were hauling Borgin's body out of the inn. "Have you considered getting a patch?" she asked as Myst walked over, back in his 'normal' ex-slime host.

"Patch?" Myst asked, wondering what she was talking about.

"Like the patches that smokers use to quit smoking, they probably have one for killing assholes," Vivian teased.

"Pretty sure you have to want to quit," Myst admitted, fairly sure the world was filled with assholes given the church sponsored adventurers that had shown up earlier. "Any problems with the girls?"

"Nope, I talked Nynaeve into regenerating Alanna's teeth and hitting everyone with healing magic then we took a bath in the hot springs and got to know each other. You should probably assign Amy and her sisters to the nurse's office, they're really good," Vivian told him.

"Already taken care of," Myst replied with a grin, glad to have a couple of competent people take over the nurse's office and train the rest of the nurses. "I also signed the rest of the girls up for classes, started construction on the dorm and finished the solarium for the gremlin school. I'm feeling productive."

"Are Borgin's sisters sane?" Vivian asked.

Myst glanced over at where the red haired twins were sitting at a table having sundaes then focused on Vivian. "Sane enough, the sex education class should get rid of their greedy traits and they should be decent instructors for curse breaking."

Vivian turned and looked at the door when she felt someone with demon touched magic walk into the room. She stared at the attractive girl with dark purple hair and worn jeans and a black hooded sweatshirt for a couple of seconds then focused on the athletic looking teenage boy that was standing next to her. "She feels like a demon."

"I'm only half demon," Raven replied defensively as she studied the girl that didn't quite feel human but seemed too cheerful to be a demon.

Myst smiled when he turned and saw a girl that looked like Raven from the Titan's show along with a younger version of Dick Grayson. "Welcome to the city, I'm Myst, this Vivian. How did you get stuck in the Ikea?"

"We needed a place where my father couldn't find us," Raven admitted as she studied the man that appeared to be in his twenties and had a fair amount of magic. "I'm Raven, this is Dick."

Richard pulled his attention off the various half dressed girls that were scattered around the inn eating and or playing chess and focused on the man that seemed to be in charge. "Richard Grayson," he offered with a charming smile.

"Are you possessing your host?" Raven asked, having noticed that Myst had two different auras even if one of them was faint.

"Technically," Myst admitted. "He's also a transfigured ex-slime so it's more of a meat suit than an actual person."

"Are you a demon?" Richard asked warily.

"Not that I know of," Myst replied with a shrug. "I'm basically the guardian spirit for the city. I don't have a problem with purification magic and I generally don't possess innocent people without permission unless there's a good reason."

"I'm a half demon, is that going to be a problem?" Vivian asked the strangers.

"That depends, what type of demon?" Raven asked, curious since the girl didn't feel like her father or any of the demons she'd run into over the years.

"I'm an Imp of the Perverse, we basically feed off specific emotions or kinks, mine is happy incest," Vivian explained.

"Happy incest?" Richard asked dubiously, not sure how that worked.

"Sisters that are a bit too close, cousins that can't keep their hands off each other, none of that twisted shit where some asshole is taking advantage of a kid," Vivian complained, thinking of some of the demons she'd met over the years that needed to be set on fire or tossed in holy water until they drowned.

Raven frowned as she thought about some of the cultists that she'd run into over the years that were more than a bit unhinged, especially when it came to family dynamics. "What happens to the people you feed off of?"

Vivian shook her head. "I don't actually feed off people, I feed off the emotions they generate which means it's completely safe. I'm also not looking to take over the world or any of that shit, too much paperwork."

"Makes sense," Raven agreed, glad that she didn't have to worry about finding a particular type of emotion to eat. "Buffy mentioned something about a magic school, can we take classes?" she asked hopefully, wanting to change the subject before Dick made a bad joke and offended them.

"You're welcome to take classes," Myst replied as he pulled a handful of magic granting crystals that he'd taken from some of the more annoying gremlins out of his storage. "Do you want magic Mr. Grayson?"

"What's the catch?" Richard asked warily, wondering what Myst got out of them taking classes.

"Thirty hours of teaching, we're a bit short on qualified teachers and you look athletic which means you probably have something to teach in the field of athletics," Myst explained.

"That's fair," Richard admitted.

"Do you mind if I check the crystals first?" Raven asked.

"I'd be surprised if you didn't check," Myst replied as he floated the crystals over to Raven with a levitation charm. "What type of classes do you want to take?" he asked as he opened his school menu to look over the available classes.

"Do you have any classes on preventing possession?" Raven asked hopefully as she grabbed the floating crystals with telekinesis and started checking them with a spell.

"Not specifically but mental defense training should be covered in our magic defense classes and I have access to a couple of magic items that prevent possession that I'm willing to let you study," Myst offered as he signed them up for a Defense class with one of Snape's sisters, figuring that would be a good start.

Richard stared at the strange window that appeared in front of him asking if he wanted to take a magical defense class. "Nice message spell."

"It's a function of the world or the school," Myst explained as he swapped over to the classroom creation tab. He added the Nudist, Nude Wizarding calendar options then added the Magitech option, figuring it would give them the option to make the gear they'd need for the class. "Just hit the accept button when Raven is done studying the spell."

"Give me a minute to finish checking the crystals," Raven told him.

"Take your time," Richard said, not in a hurry since there were plenty of nearly naked girls to look at, something he’d begun to miss while they were trapped in the Ikea. 'At least Wally isn't here, he'd be making a fool of himself.'

'Grayson would be older in Titan's, I don't remember Raven in Young Justice which means it's probably a generic world or I haven't read enough comics to place everything,' Myst mused as he selected the option to double the size of the classroom and tossed two hundred units of Eldritch stone into the box along with a hundred units of Faerie Wood. 'As long as Trigon can't reach into my world, we're probably fine,' he thought as he double checked everything and hit the button.

"Naturalist Newspaper Classroom acquired and unlocked. Magical Newspaper and Printing Press unlocked."

'Thirty percent boost to experience if you're naked while in the class or working on projects for the class, a five percent chance to get a journalism or photography related talent per class which drops to two percent after your first talent. That's better than I was expecting, especially considering you get double the experience for journalism or photography related projects as long as they're a class project. I wonder if Luna's father wants a job helping me get the paper setup, I doubt the Quibbler takes up all of his time.'

"The crystals look safe," Raven said as she handed them to Richard.

"How do I use them?" Richard asked.

"You can focus on using them or you can think about your status screen then drop them on your character doll," Myst suggested as he selected a new classroom and added the spell creation option along with the nudist option, if only because it would increase the experience.

"Status screen…" Richard trailed off when a window appeared in front of him, looking like a video game character sheet. "Huh," he muttered as he glanced over his physical scores, not particularly surprised that his agility and vitality were higher than his strength score. "Is thirty strength good?"

"The only human that I've seen with a higher strength in their human form is a blacksmith and he's built like a tree," Myst replied with amusement as he tossed a bunch of crystals into the box then paid the thousand mana to create the classroom.

"Nudist Spell Crystal Creation Classroom acquired."

Myst looked at the description for the new classroom, skimming over the basic nudist bonus. 'Spell Creation experience is doubled and the failure chance is halved for spell creation and being in the room allows the use of the Create Spell Crystal spell, which can be learned with enough practice. Seems straightforward enough which probably means there's a trick.'

"I've met people like that," Richard said as he dropped the first crystal on his character doll, causing his magic to jump five points. "What's a decent magic rating?"

"Depends on what you're trying to do and what you're fighting, if you're using magic like an extra toolbox, you can probably get away with ten to twenty points to start with," Myst offered. "If you're a primary magic user, I'd want at least thirty points and a decent amount of creativity which is why there are six crystals."

"Do I want to know how expensive the crystals are?" Richard asked as he quickly used the rest of them.

Myst glanced at his mana pool when he felt it recharge then queued up another twenty gremlins so he'd have more gremlins to turn into magic using gremlins and magic granting crystals. "The five point crystals aren't particularly hard to get, it just takes time and attention."

"I'll take that for a no, I'd be happy to run some self defense classes," Richard offered.

"Awesome," Myst replied as he selected the design for the frost gym and started tossing the material in the box, figuring they had enough healing that the extra agility would be awesome.