XaiJu
zenyahima
zenyahima

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an update

hey pengoons, i'm really sorry for the suddenness of this. i'm been mulling it over in my head on whether i should just push through and do it, or just cancel, but...

i wanted to go through with the stream tonight, but truth be told i don't think i'm in the right headspace for it. something negative happened all of a sudden after my stream earlier and well i'm just too mentally ill to ignore it i guess, it's been getting to me. i guess i'm kind of the type of person where stupid shit can ruin my whole night huh?

i don't think it'd be good for me to try to force myself to go tonight. i don't think you would like that either...i want to be able to be myself and enjoy it, but when i'm like this, i don't feel like i can. i really want our time together here to be the best it can be, i don't want to disappoint you either and not live up to your expectations

and yet i already know this will probably be disappointing to you too, so i feel kind of stuck...i'm sorry, but i do think it's best overall for me to postpone tonight's stream...it really breaks my heart too knowing you might have planned for this, changed your schedule for it, that any new time i set might not work while this time did, that you paid for this with the intent it would be at this specific time...i'm really really sorry, i just can't do it tonight. I will try my best to make up for it when i can. trust me, I was looking forward to it too...

would tomorrow night be good? same time? that's what i'm thinking...let me know. 04/27 9PM EDT then? I should be good by then! I probably just need a good night's sleep to get over it and feel better...tonight maybe I'll try to chill and get my mind off things with some xenoblade

i'll do my best to avoid this stuff in the future, but ahh what can you do sometimes? >.<

I love you lots okay, thank you so much for being understanding ;-; 💙If it's a dealbreaker for you though, well I completely understand too, feel free to be upset at me for being stupid and having to cancel something you were looking forward to, uuuu u can just beat me up okay? >~<

Comments

sometimes life is just too much and i get it -_- we've said it many times before and its still true . you matter first . and if you're unwell and pushing yourself i'll just feel impressed at first at how far you're going for us and then feel bad because you've lost your voice for us :( oh and.. im a lil sad i don't have the asmr right now lol HOWEVER i get to be there ! AAAH im sorry for the others who won't make it but i can for once !!!! but again ....... if you don't feel up to it don't push yourself your needs are more important than our wants. love you miss Zenya

Space

I hope you feel a bit better at least now. This is part of being human, and I think most of us here will understand. Ignoring something that's on your mind and just changing your frame of mind just to stream must be something incredibly difficult to accomplish.

luis

you never have to feel bad for taking days off. do what's best for yourself. your wellbeing is important to us. we're here to support you. i hope you feel better.

wav

Man, what a shame. Their loss I guess. No need to feel bad about missing your own stream. Stuff happens, and sometimes we can't control it. I'll be at your stream no matter when you decide to host it 💙 Love you too Zen 💙

Ike


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