A Very Unchronological Fantasy Heroine snippet
Added 2022-12-31 14:11:41 +0000 UTCI mean, I promised you one for the New Year. And since Joriam suggested I might like to try a worldbuilding exercise, I decided to introduce you to the in-universe reason that people seem to heal from their injuries more quickly than you might expect.
I have, not including this, 51,000 words of novel right now, and I am missing at least half a dozen scenes between Caroline and Henry.
Ha.
Ha.
What is my life, even.
This snippet, at least, does not require any weird formatting, as Caroline is not present.
Happy New Year! And if you look on the blog, there are somewhat updated versions of two of the scenes you have seen already.
Comments
If Rodamund is first born and they married and had her at the same age then they'd be mid to late 50's. And well done on the Charlotte question, took me severay minutes to get that ๐๐คฃ๐
Fenrir Wolfganger
2023-01-11 16:10:32 +0000 UTCThe second part of the story is a flash back to her time with Hugo where she may very well have been pregnant with Edmund. What in this snipped caused you to consider than she might be pregnant with Leo's child? Although this might be a great way for Rosamund to very gently break it to Leo by bringing up her first pregnancy!
Ekij
2023-01-06 12:31:50 +0000 UTCI have to confess to being thrown initially regarding who was speaking. "โI have a question.โ Charlotte completed her practice strike" made me think it was Charlotte who had the question, when later context makes it clear it was Leo. It took me a few exchanges and a re-read to work it out. It also wasn't clear what the "caladrius" were. I initially assumed Charlotte was asking Leo why the people from the country of Caladria liked him. I know this is a snippet and so may be clearer based on the preceding text but I wanted to mention it. You could precede the snippet with "Leo had been wondering about the little 'caladrius' birds that were so common on the Hawkhurst estate. He felt it would be good to see if Charlotte could practice her sword while partially distracted and so asked"
Ekij
2023-01-06 12:19:54 +0000 UTCI feel like I was already a bit of both, but this project has really given my Inner Caroline some ideas ๐
Jill Bearup
2023-01-05 07:43:00 +0000 UTCI'm amused by the fact that you feel like you're turning into Caroline when you use something similar to your normal voice for Rosamund instead of her.
Oisin Creaner
2023-01-04 22:01:15 +0000 UTCThat had definitely been the vibe I was getting behind Leo's "thought about the recent behaviour he had seen from the birds." That he'd seen them being "moody" towards Rosamund and she was just joining the dots for him.
Oisin Creaner
2023-01-04 21:45:53 +0000 UTCI sympathise entirely :)
Jill Bearup
2023-01-01 21:14:01 +0000 UTCIn my work im mainly concermed if Its coherent at all xD
Angerboda
2023-01-01 19:06:59 +0000 UTCThank you!
Jill Bearup
2023-01-01 19:01:42 +0000 UTCI had been a bit concerned that I was failing to imply anything and they were all just flailing about having feelings that I could see in my head but not describe. So Iโm glad it worked ๐
Jill Bearup
2023-01-01 19:01:30 +0000 UTCThank you! I appreciate you taking the time to comment ๐
Jill Bearup
2023-01-01 19:00:03 +0000 UTCI was going to post this on the blog, but "comments on this blog are restricted to team members". So I'll post here instead. Comment for ""Patching Up Your Hot...Wife" Since you asked for comments - and noting that I usually review technical reports plus I'm an unabashed fanboy, so neither experienced nor impartial - here goes nothing. I think you've got the level of detail about right. "He cleaned and dressed her wounds" would be far too brief for the scene you're writing, but neither character seem to be the type to talk about partial-thickness lacerations and so I'm glad you haven't. (If they had called the physician, language might change.) The level of attention Leo gives to Rosy also rings true-to-life. If one of my nearest & dearest were to end up with a nasty cut, but not one demanding an A&E visit, I'd be following a similar approach - clean it, close it, dress it, then monitor it & them. I can't comment on your characterisation (they're your characters, not mine) beyond observing their speech and actions are consistent with what we know of Rosy and Leo.
Dave Sheddi
2023-01-01 17:52:29 +0000 UTCIf you're taking video suggestions: it has been brought to my attention that Bernadette Banner does costume reviews, such as https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lBkLsbDrlNI classifying in five tiers. And she takes guest collaborators. One of them was Zac Evans. Of course I immediately imagined a meme-style matrix with Just Stab Me Now to I'd Wear It on one axis, and That's Not It to 'Tis Peak on the other.
Aguido Horatio Davis
2023-01-01 11:48:30 +0000 UTCMaybe Rosy's habit of going everywhere stealthily armed to the teeth feeds into the "unreasonably violent Page" reputation if you squint just the right way. Are either Gramps or Gran Page still alive? They'd probably be in their early 60s, now.
jmundt33a
2022-12-31 22:09:57 +0000 UTCA lovely treat. Always fun to read a draft that isnt my own. I like how you make things keep moving, while implying but not spelling out things that the characters are thinking about
Angerboda
2022-12-31 21:58:39 +0000 UTCSo fun!! I love these snippets!
Karly Nelson
2022-12-31 18:02:04 +0000 UTCNot as far as I know, but I just write her. :)
Jill Bearup
2022-12-31 17:34:27 +0000 UTCaww, how sweet. โฆshe isnโt pregnant with Leoโs child, is she?
Biscuit
2022-12-31 17:15:35 +0000 UTCSounds like you've got a handle on this (such as can be had when writing long-form fantasy narratives from scratch). Best of luck!
John Cox
2022-12-31 16:13:04 +0000 UTCThe Pages, that being Rosamund's family, are thought of in some quarters as jumped-up merchants (because they are), and unreasonably violent (which is...at least a little bit true) and altogether a bit unnatural. Also, Rosamund is not much for socialising, which makes it easy to spread rumours. As to the second question, I had an interesting conversation with her in Tesco before Christmas on that subject, but the answer is currently, 'I don't know'. It has come to my attention that I am slowly turning into Caroline, but there we are.
Jill Bearup
2022-12-31 16:04:32 +0000 UTCI've mostly dealt with it by using them as a rough guide to events rather than trying to write the shorts. So we start, not with Caroline being introduced to the character, but with Rosamund's fight where she wrenches her shoulder, and various other characters doing political things. And then I got to add in a scene which I wanted to put in the shorts but didn't fit that overarching narrative particularly well. It has been an interesting challenge!
Jill Bearup
2022-12-31 16:01:16 +0000 UTC:)
Jill Bearup
2022-12-31 15:59:30 +0000 UTCA witty few snippets! I do want to ask though how you've dealt with the difficulty of having many shorts and trying to piece them together into a longer story. I've seen before when a long story seems to be pieced together out of shorts, and the end result feels a bit rough. The fantasy heroine series became popular as shorts, but now you're 50,000+ words into a longer piece (impressive!) and I'm guessing that you've come across the difficulties of trying to put together many short scenes and something doesn't quite seem cohesive about it. How have you dealt with this?
John Cox
2022-12-31 15:50:05 +0000 UTC(:
Aguido Horatio Davis
2022-12-31 15:37:34 +0000 UTCAwesome! But that leads to two questions. 1. Our conniving villain had halfway convinced two different royal courts that Rosy was a cross between Lady Tremaine and the pharmaceutical company from V For Vendetta? Thatโs really impressive in its own way. 2. Will Charlotte be taking over the flock care in the next few months?๐
jmundt33a
2022-12-31 15:25:27 +0000 UTC
