Lore Post #3: Smasher-Masher-Flabber-Crasher

Beastiary Entry #2: Cantu Petram

Common Names: Smasher-Masher-Flabber-Crasher, Knockers, and Bonkers

Habitat – Caves, Mines

The Cantu are a short, sturdy creature most known for their mace-like right arm—which they wield with deadly efficiency. They reside underground and have never been spotted in sunlight. Given their eye structure and their ability to see in dark settings, scholars question whether they are capable of withstanding bright lights. Well-lit caverns have proven to be a fairly effective defense measure against the creatures.

Mostly found within the Dragon’s Spine mountains, there have been isolated reports of the creatures as far south as the Divine Spires. Old legends tell of a large underground network of tunnels that may explain how these creatures managed to travel so far south, but the existence of such a network has never been proven. It is just as likely they are capable of traveling above ground during the night.

While these creatures tend to avoid human activity, they become incredibly aggressive when their territory is invaded. A plague on most mining operations within the northern mountain ranges, the Cantu have earned a number of nicknames from the miners who work those mines. Perhaps the most colorful is “Smasher-masher-flabber-crasher,” which appears to originate from the goblin tribes who reside in the Dragon Spine mountains. While lacking scholarly merit, the nickname does accurately define the creatures’ behaviors.

A coarse brown fur covers the creature’s body and helps it to withstand the often cold nights. Observation of the creature’s natural behavior is extremely limited, but one scholar, “Wherzat Thys” authored an essay titled, “The Eating and Mating Habits of the Cantu Petram.” In the essay, Thys describes how the Cantu are able to break through rocks walls to find water and small insects. Thys also claims to have witnessed a Cantu assault a female miner—claiming the creature possesses a thin phallus located within the fur of its nether regions. According to Thys, the Cantu will aggressively assault human women, which begs the question of what form the female Cantu take. Thankfully, the vast majority of miners are men, which alleviates this issue.

Attempts were made to reach Mr. Thys for further questioning, but his whereabouts are unknown at this time. He was last seen in the Cirtan Mines north of Kavidan conducting further research on the creatures. Miners reported they have not had contact with Mr. Thys in over three weeks, but that he had disappeared for lengthy periods in the past. Follow-up attempts will be made to contact Mr. Thys in the future.

Given what we know, the Cantu Petram have been labeled a manageable threat for kingdom mining operations. We recommend using male miners and keeping all active channels well-lit. Miners should be told to listen for "knocking” sounds, like rocks being smashed together, for indications that these creatures may be near. It is recommended that miners do not engage.

Sudoh Lu’Kear

Royal Cartographer and Historian