Sorry for being so --
Added 2020-06-05 05:58:53 +0000 UTCAnxious and nervous lately.
I'm doing my best to overcome a lot of ingrained fears and panic over being more social online. Which I know sounds dumb, I feel so helpless with it all. I mean, I was really looking forward to streaming and chatting online with everyone but every time I tried I got so overwhelmed and afraid I couldn't.
Because he used to hurt me for it, I remember when the fandom was fresh and new, I was on skype every night that summer streaming, talking to everyone, making friends, and he hated that.
He would literally PHYSICALLY pull me away from my laptop, slam it shut in the middle of a stream, force me into the bedroom, and I know he isn't here, he can't do anything to me but my brain and fear is so.
I'm going to try though, when I do I might be super nervous and anxious, please be patient with me! I really do want to share drawing more and bounce around ideas, I want to create a community for us.
In times like these I want to offer what I can the only way I know how and that's offering my friendship ya know.
Sorry I've been meaning to say something about why I haven't been on discord and I hope you all understand. It's so enraging that there are still parts of me that are barely beginning to heal and issues barely being brought to light.
I am so grateful for everyone of you here, thank you so much for your continued support and friendship!๐ญ
Comments
You're very welcome! And again, it's understandable. I am glad your facing your inner problems head-on and dealing with them. Progress may be slow sometimes, but you also can't rush things. :) By the way, whenever you are open to Skype again, I'd love to add you one day if you're up to it. :D
Maxx001
2020-06-10 06:54:33 +0000 UTCThank you! I know I personally don't want to stop the effort!
2020-06-09 06:34:16 +0000 UTCI guess I worry that a lot of people share my families mindset, that since I'm not in that situation anymore that I should be perfectly okay now. I only want to share and make friends again, even if it takes me a while, I really do try not to let my trauma keep me from doing things but - heh, I'm not trying to ignore my issues anymore. Thank you so much Maxx! I will continue to do my best!
2020-06-09 06:33:43 +0000 UTCThank you so much Rapid, I really appreciate your friendship and support! I can't believe how long we've known each other, here's to many more years of friendship and art to come!
2020-06-09 06:30:52 +0000 UTCSome days are just worse than others, don't beat yourself up over it. You are making an effort, and I am sure with time it will show!
SpiritD
2020-06-07 17:18:34 +0000 UTCIt's quite alright, Tsu. I, myself, used to struggle really hard to socialize with people in person and online, and after all these years I still kinda am. However, you have gone through a lot more than most people have and that definitely takes some time to overcome. It's totally understandable that you still need some time and space to cope with what happened to you (I actually didn't know that his cruelty stretched 'this' far until now...) and I'm sure everyone will understand perfectly that you'll start your streams and chats whenever you are ready. :3 After all, you're a very kind and caring person (as well as amazingly talented), so I think it's safe to say that anyone here won't hold any delays against you. Please continue to stay safe and keep up the amazing work as always ^^
Maxx001
2020-06-05 19:51:38 +0000 UTCAs a person who also has anxiety when drawing art and/or creating music myself, I had plenty of memories that were...not favorable. The only difference between your situation and mine is that I caused the problems. I even was once blocked online at some point for disrespecting an artist's character. His attitude towards me still struck a nerve to me personally, where I had to reshape who I am now. Anyway, I understand the frustration you're going through, but I will always support you and our friendship. Again, you're one of my favorite, artistic friends I've ever met.
Rapidkirby3k
2020-06-05 13:51:14 +0000 UTC
