Writing About Life: Moving, Cosplay, (not) Staying Focused

Guys can we be so real right now. I do not have any sort of interesting work-related things to share right now. I've been holding out on posting this month because the "secret sketches" I had were so minimal. Basically life has been filled with a lot of other interesting and time-consuming things outside of work right now, and a lot of work-related things that involve waiting for revision, reading, and sketching things I cannot share yet.

Moving 

Something really exciting happened this week--something that, when I zoom out and view what is happening from a past-Jamie perspective, is kind of unbelievable to me. My roommates and I signed a lease for an apartment IN Chicago. I am going to be living IN CHICAGO. We've been living in the suburbs 50ish minutes outside of the city for a year and a half now, and we knew that eventually we wanted to move into Chicago proper, but it all seemed really daunting. I won't bore you with the details, but places (especially in the specific neighborhood we wanted) have been extremely rare to come by that accommodate everything we are looking for as a household. We found something unbelievably perfect last week, and in a matter of a few days, toured it, applied, and after 72 high anxiety hours, got the lease to sign (!!!)

I've been losing sleep over this moving situation. I really didn't think it would happen for us in the exact spot we wanted so the fact that it worked out still has me in shock. We get the keys NEXT WEEK???? and our current move-out isn't until June 1st....lol....so we are going to be paying two rents for a little while (we cannot sublet here). So that's a financial hit, but one I'm happy to take rather than risk losing a place like our new home. We'll have months to slowly move, which is a bonus to the few-month overlap. 

I can't wait to show you the new place (even while it's completely empty!). It's a charming chicago-style brick duplex with fun built-in features, wood floors, and on a gorgeous neighborhood street in the heart of Andersonville, Chi. (doxxing lite) Whenever I think about how it's going to look in Summer and Autumn I feel butterflies in my stomach....I'm embarrassingly smitten with this place. If I could show my kid self this living situation they would surely shit their pants. <3 I've now lived in three apartments, all of which where modern apartment complexes with minimalist design and fake greyish wood floors. I'm going to be down on my hands and knees LICKING the warm real-wood planks of my new place.

Chicago was never where I thought I would be. And I don't know if it's endgame. Hard to tell right now. The midwest has a certain charm I think I would miss if I left it. I've become prideful calling myself a midwesterner. But all the time I think I'd probably love living all sorts of places. There's even things I miss about Florida, despite how badly I wanted to leave for 22 years of my life. There's things I certainly miss about Appalachia despite never feeling quite at home because of the social/political climate in South Carolina. I could see myself ending up anywhere...the pacific northwest has called me for a long time, so who knows. Anyways, I'm getting off track here--my point is that Chicago wasn't ever a place I thought I'd be living, especially the CITY of Chicago. It is cool to see where life can take you if you leave your mind open. :)

Cosplay

I really can't believe I'm consistently cosplaying again. It's not to the degree it was when I was in high school--that was like all I lived for. It was con-to-con living. 8 cosplays a year kind of thing. I'm too old and withered and adult-spending for that now, so one to two cosplays a year is a very sweet spot. My roommates and I have been working on our katamari cosplays a lot this past week, and I wish I would have documented more of the process. It was a lot of planning and diagramming and googling. Everything is going smoothly so far......it's quiet....too quiet. This is usually the point when I realize something is going horribly wrong, but it's not. It's all looking really good. I'll choose to accept that and not question it!

This has been a nice way of exercising my creativity completely outside of my job. I'm a little nervous to get to the body part of the costumes, but I'm sure that I'll find a good pattern to alter and it will feel just as exciting as making the head piece. 

(not) Staying Focused

I've found it hard to focus lately. On anything, for the most part, but especially on work-related things that I do have going on. And I know exactly why that is, with so much coming up, and moving, and spring coming--it makes sense to me, but it's still frustrating. I link a good amount of my self worth and satisfaction to Getting Stuff Done (which is kind of like duh maybe that's literally everyone) so when I'm unable to force myself to sit and work and finish something, I feel like I've failed. And I can't stop thinking about the tasks I have yet to complete. This is such an obvious revelation, and nothing special whatsoever, but I just wanted to put it out there in case you're feeling similarly right now. 

Feels goofy as hell to say this (and so lucky) but I met up with my buddy Leigh (Hi Leigh) yesterday because she's visiting Chicago, and we spent the first hour talking about: how creating feels lately, documenting that creation process online, the dichotomy between displaying our "creative lives" vs our "personal lives" online, negative feedback (and how we're both okay if you're mean to us as long as you make it funny), how it feels to be perceived as a certain "type" online, and COMPLAINING and WHINING (and how we are so addicted to doing it in front of an audience)...and farting/pooping.

All this to say I think that not staying focused won't last forever, it ebbs and it slows, and the things that I feel passionate about creating and sharing also changes all the time. I think what I need to practice right now is finding what I enjoy working on and sharing, rather than forcing myself to share about my work life because I think that's what people are here for (when I have been told repeatedly this is thankfully not the case but for some reason I just can't believe it!)

Closing this out with some random fun things:

-got my first baggu and it's big and red and hot and a statement, here i am wearing it in this shot paparazzi got of me and leigh??!??

- I've decided to start my spring 2024 playlist early. I have one for every season and it has no theme, but it includes music that I find/am replaying during that time! here is my winter 2024

-walks outside are becoming a possibility again here in the midwest, and we're about to have our warmest day coming up next week :)

-i started watching dungeon meshi finally and it's just as wonderful as everyone was saying and i have no notes

-found out an aesthetic that i love has a name this past week, frutiger aero 

-i keep buying consistently good fruit lately. like the best sumo citrus of my life, good strawberries, big blueberries, bananas as the perfect ripeness right from the store

-protein french toast 

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That's all for now, I have some (hopefully successful) downloadable textures coming to my deciduous patrons this week!!

-JG