Chapter 183 - Amputation

Ollie woke up with a gasp, the cold air piercing his lungs and ravaging his hoarse throat. The glare of the daylight through the white sheets that formed a large ceiling made his eyes weak, his body struggling to get up. Ollie swore he could feel his muscles creak, as though they had not been used for days.

There was a noticeable din outside, with what sounded like thousands of people walking past the temporary large tent that Ollie was in now, the wind buffeting the fabric slightly as the inactive arctech lanterns hung from the top swayed gently. There were a few bloody bandages on the side of his bed, along with someone sleeping at his bedside.

He was far from the only one in the tent – there were close to a hundred other patients in the large tent, all suffering from some form of wound or diseases. Ollie had no idea how long he had been here, glancing around to get an idea.

Trying to sit up with his left arm, his body barely budged, creating a sense of confusion for a brief moment. Ollie glanced down at the white tunic he wore, the left sleeve dangling freely with nothing under.

“Ollie…?” A groggy and dishevelled Bola yawned as he stretched his arms, before it suddenly dawned on him that Ollie was awake. “OLLIE, YOU’RE AWAKE! ELLIE! ELLIE!”

“B…bola…” Ollie’s voice came out hoarse and ragged. “Are… are we winning?”

Bola grinned, patting Ollie gently on the thighs. “We won, dummy! Of course we would win! Now you stay here till Ellie gets over with the nurse and give you a look over.”

Ollie grinned in response, relaxing his shoulders on to the makeshift pillows and bedding. It wasn’t a luxurious hospital bed, the sheets obviously repurposed curtains, but it was better than what Ollie had been sleeping on before he joined the Seven Snakes.

Ellie soon rushed in with the nurse, with her hugging Ollie tightly. “Oh thank Yual you’re still alive. Everything okay?”

“…ye…yeah… water…” Ollie tried to speak normally, but his throat just wasn’t working today. “…how long…?”

“How long?” Ellie muttered as she handed a water flask over to Ollie. “Oh, it’s been about three days now.”

“Can you move your right arm for me?” The nurse interjected, focused on checking Ollie’s pulse. “Any pain in your left shoulder?”

Ollie’s attention was brought to his missing left arm, his body still fooling him as though the arm was still there. His mind could recall how to move it, creating a weird imbalance in his motions.

“Don’t worry, just take it easy. Any pain you feel in your left should go away with time, okay?” The nurse checked Ollie’s face and eyes, trying to spot any disorientation. “Seems like the amputation went well. I’ll do a final check up on you a few hours later and you’ll be free to go.”

Ellie heaved a sigh of relief, sitting down on a wooden stool next to Bola. “Ollie, once you’re out, you can stay with us at one of the temporary housing the Seven Snakes has set up. Might be a bit crammed with the whole squad, but we’ll take care of you.”

Ollie smiled, a sense of victory washing over him. Two months of non-stop fighting lifted from him like a heavy weight, his body fully relaxed now. “..good… now you and alex can get married… haha…” Ollie cracked a joke, trying to lighten the atmosphere.

Ellie’s and Bola’s face almost immediately darkened for a brief moment, exchanging glances between the two of them. “Uhh… yeah! Yeah…” Ellie mumbled in response, her eyes cast downwards in melancholy.

“What…? What’s wrong?” Ollie squinted his eyes in suspicion, but Ellie and Bola’s face brightened up again, as though nothing had happened.

“Nothing! Nothing at all. Now don’t worry about anything and just have a good rest, you hear me? Me and Bola have to go to work now, we’ll come back later to pick you up after you’re cleared by the nurse. Don’t wander anywhere else!”

She’s acting like a mom for some reason. Not that I know how having one feels. Ollie nodded, confused about the awkward atmosphere.

Ellie gave him a hug again while Bola patted him on the back before the two of them went off, leaving Ollie alone on his bed again. He sighed, looking up at the ceiling once again. As he closed his eyes, he drifted off to sleep once more.

His dream was far from peaceful, instead Ollie found himself back at the war, witnessing the cataclysmic duel between Kyle and Ares. Yet he himself was fighting hard again, using everything his arsenal to defeat the grim Cretin in front of him.

He could still recall the eyes, the look of horror on the Cretin’s face when Ollie had jabbed him in the neck, the blood spurting onto his hands in a grimy sticky state. Ollie could feel the sweat cling to every pore, sticking his clothes in the limbs and shoulders as he used both hands to force the knife even deeper.

The dirt and soot of the explosions around them hardly matter: all Ollie could focus on was killing the man in front of him. His heart raced, beating faster and faster until a familiar hand grabbed him from behind.

Ollie woke up screaming, his body sweating furiously as the nurse was taken aback. “Hey, hey, hey! Calm down!”

Ollie nearly lashed out at the nurse, before realization dawned on him that it was just a dream. He slumped back into his bed, breathing heavily as he could still his heart pounding fast in his chest.

“You’re not fighting anymore, you’re good, okay? You’re safe here, kid.” The nurse tried to assuage Ollie’s fears, but Ollie was not focused on that, instead recalling something else thanks to the dream.

“… where’s alex?”

“Who?”

“Squad Leader Alex, Logistics Team.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t know who that is. But I can help you find him once I’ve cleared you. Others are currently waiting for this bed, so you’re going to have to clear out today.”

Ollie nodded, letting the nurse do his final checks. The nurse helped him to stand, handing him a walking stick to support himself. “Slowly, slowly…”

Ollie nearly stumbled, almost tripping over his feet, but he soon got the hang of it, being able to move on his own, albeit slowly. The nurse supported him, walking him towards a desk where the administrative nurses were working overtime, eyebags distinct.

“Bed 461 cleared out. He’s good to go. Kid, you got someone picking you up? Otherwise we can arrange for a wagon to the mall.” The nurse asked.

“Where is Squad Leader Alex, Logistics Team?”

The nurse nodded, letting Ollie sit back down on a nearby stool before quickly thumbing through documents. A sinking feeling was in Ollie’s heart, but for some reason his mind could not accept the truth, even if it was most likely the case. He leaned on his stick, praying to any gods that it wasn’t true.

Soon, the nurse came over, kneeling down in front of Ollie. “Hey kid… I… erm… he’s not here…”

“Don’t!” Ollie almost yelled at the top of his lungs, but stopped himself, taking a deep breath. “Don’t treat me like a brat. I’ve fought as hard as anyone else in the Seven Snakes! Just tell me!”

“He’s dead. Killed in action. According to the report, he died saving you from a falling piece of rubble.”

Ollie’s grip on the stick tightened, his eyes closed as he cursed internally, infuriated like never before. “Where’s the grave?”

“Sorry?”

“Where is he buried?”

The nurse gave him the directions. “Kid, you should stay put until someone comes to get you – it’s hard to navigate when you can’t walk properly!”

“I can handle myself just fine!” Ollie defiantly retorted, limping out of the large medical tent.

The street was a clusterfuck of collapsed buildings, bombed out roads, and exposed sewers and utility pipes. Potholes abounded, while he watched construction crews clear out the debris, collecting the concrete into sacks that they hauled to a wagon, preparing the site for a new apartment.

Ollie continued walking, determined to make it to the cemetery. He walked for nearly two hours, staggering his way through. Anyone who offered him a ride was rejected promptly, Ollie focused on making it there himself.

He soon reached the graves, where hundreds of new gravestones had been erected, albeit hastily. Some of them did not even have a gravestone, only having a temporary marker made for them. Ollie grunted as his steps caused the gravel path to crackle, slowly looking for his row.

Other families were already at the graves, leaving behind gifts and flowers on the graves. Ollie trawled through each row, trying to find Alex’s grave. Deep down, Ollie did not want to find it either, some part of him hoping that what the nurse told him was not true. He felt as though he was reaching the end of the line, the end of a story.

However, he found the grave, the gravestone unremarkable but covered in flowers. Only his name was written on the stone, with no eulogy to speak of. Indescribable sadness took over Ollie as his body crumpled to the ground in a sobbing mess, the walking stick clattering to the ground.

“…FUCK!” Ollie roared in anger, punching the ground with his right arm as the tears streamed down his face uncontrollably, his heart clenching tighter than ever. Why did Alex give up his life to save me?! Why!?

It wasn’t the first time Ollie had seen someone close to him die. Two months of fighting meant everyone you met could be gone the next day. Even when he was still living in the slums, sickness and diseases took lives everyday. Ollie would have thought that he would be numb to Alex’s death, but it was far different from every other death he had witnessed.

This time, it was far closer to his heart, Alex being a literal father in his mind. Idiot! You had two daughters to take care of! Why didn’t you let me die instead?!

Ollie’s thoughts ran wild as he couldn’t stop thinking about how terrible the two daughters must have felt, knowing their father had died for someone else. I don’t deserve to live! Ollie slammed his head into the ground, the gravel tearing into his forehead skin in a graze, sobbing continuously.

“OLLIE!” Ellie’s voice could be heard as she ran to him, still wearing her construction gear. “I…”

“I don’t…” Ollie could barely speak between sobs. “I don’t deserve to live! Why did he sacrifice himself for me?! WHY?! He has two daughters and…” Ollie couldn’t finish the sentence, but Ellie knew what he wanted to say, her own heart twisted in sadness.

Ollie was about to slam his head into the ground again, but instead of Ellie comforting Ollie, she knelt next to him, grabbing his face and slapping him with everything she could muster.

Ollie was jolted out of his spiral of despair, confused for a moment when Ellie grabbed him by the ears, looking him deep in the eyes.

“How dare you claim you don’t deserve to live and try to hurt yourself! You put shame onto Alex’s actions! He valued you higher than his own life, so how can you say you don’t deserve to live?! Don’t let his sacrifice be in vain!” Ellie shouted.

“But…” Ollie couldn’t stop crying, knowing that Alex’s budding romance with Ellie had been ripped to shreds because of him, yet he could tell Ellie was far stronger emotionally than him.

“Death comes to everyone, and Alex chose his death with willingness!” Ellie rebuked Ollie, checking Ollie’s bleeding forehead. “And if you tried to kill yourself, I will never forgive you!”

Ollie could already see tears welling in Ellie’s eyes, his emotions uncontrollable as he bawled on the ground, with Ellie hugging him tightly.

“Alex died for you – you have to live on!” Ellie spoke with a trembling voice. “Live on for a better future. All of us have to live on. That’s just life.”