Bahamut's Light: Chapter 15
Added 2022-07-17 22:08:27 +0000 UTCIn which questions are laid before William Threlfall.
Sorry for the delay, was working on this massive chapter, +fourth of july stuff and visiting friend. It ended up being divided into two chapters, reworked to no end. Hopefully you guys like this and the next one.
Things happened that I didn't think would, and I learned more about Arcturus' relationship with Selina, Geoffery and Skywing around.
Comments
Just a suggestion, when Nivra suggests the wet bitch maybe have mention how she's heard of a guard or two hanging around there at times to strength the ties of wanting to go there for info. Yes the scoundrel thing is a good reason but adding the guards would help reinforce it.
Cryodrake
2022-07-25 13:26:34 +0000 UTCnot speaking a word to the numerous sapphire guardians that did look him over. (im on the fence if this is a me thing or actual wording thing. Might want to double check this.) unjustfully (i believe its just unjustly) All they think about is politics and their blasted pride.” “Annoying isn’t it.” (not a typo i just want to say i laughed at this comment XD) her frail, dark skinned body (olive skin) “Any why must their be a motive, could I not go and visit an old friend?” (there instead of their) “Free for these golden claws to retrieve and return to their masters.” (They just know, might want to add simple fix to this.) His head spun, how where they to get Arcturus out of this mess before they held whatever this trial was. (were instead of where) quarters, (word says the comma should be a semi-colane so i guess so?) “She has to, I mean, by this point if she doesn’t know what I’ll do, its really on her.” (word was flipping out, it's instead of its) Lacking her, the best bet for you would be a small tavern called the wet bitch. (Capitalize Wet Bitch) It’s times like this I had a bell on my companions, it would be harder to lose them. (i think you wanted to add wish to this sentence) Pack light and not linger for long. (i think you wanted, do not) fought along side him (alongside instead of along side) There is no plane that I would believe he wouldn’t tell me this. (might want to reword this but its technically fine) “Did you not question them? They were in a brawl!” Steve laughed, (Steven instead of steve) “It’s always hard to see the day were your friends betray you. (where instead were)
Cryodrake
2022-07-22 03:20:39 +0000 UTC
