Confidence and body acceptance

Hello, delightful patrons!

We've been thinking about how lockdown has mixed effects when it comes to confidence. For some people, it's given them the freedom to present however they want in the safety of their own homes, while for others, it's led to being unable to present how they want at all due to unsupportive home environments. And for almost everyone, it's meant no access to hairdressers for a while! So we wanted to share a few thoughts on body acceptance and confidence.

1) The ideal body is a breathing one. This is a phrase that Jo learnt from a non-binary friend who deals with chronic pain. That friend uses it to remind themself that whatever frustrations they have with their body, it is still useful in that it keeps them alive.

2) Conventional beauty standards are extremely bigoted. Nobody wants to buy in to racist, ableist, sizeist, sexist and transphobic nonsense, but because we all grow up immersed in a culture that pushes those ideals of beauty, it can take a lot of work to free yourself from what you've internalised. When those thoughts appear, don't guilt-trip yourself over them - try just acknowledging their presence, then asserting a counter-argument to yourself and moving on with your day.

3) Consciously choose to celebrate what you like about yourself. Inner beauty, outer beauty, and your personal strengths are all solid options. Take a moment to appreciate your positive qualities whenever they come up - e.g. when you do something kind, get dressed in the morning, or use your skills. Do things that make you happy when you can.

4) Give compliments to others. Do this readily and sincerely, and you'll see how easy it can be to make someone's day. For people you've just encountered (e.g. customers, staff, new acquaintances) it's fine to focus on aesthetic compliments - but try to make these about something they've chosen, such as their outfit, accessories or make-up, rather than something they can't help, like how pretty/handsome/stunning you think they are. For people you already know, complimenting them for their personality or actions can be even more effective at giving them a mood boost. After a while, you may even find people begin complimenting you back!

5) Fake it till you make it. The oldest piece of advice about confidence ever, we know... but it can really help. Try imagining how you would feel if you were someone you really admire - then hold on to that feeling. Eventually it'll become second nature!

We hope this was helpful to someone out there - and hopefully it didn't come across too preachy! Do you have any tips about building confidence and/or body acceptance? If so, please share them with us in the comments!