In Another Time, In Another Place, In Another Way.

Clark gave his friend a tap on the right shoulder, while brushing past to stand behind Bruce's left shoulder.

"You're nearly thirty, you know." Bruce pointed out. "One of these days, you'll grow up."

Clark just shrugged, "Insert something here about millennial angst and immaturity."

Bruce scowled at him as seriously as he could muster, before turning his attention back to the teleporter.

"Watcha doing, anyway?" Clark pestered him. "You know, the kids are all around to fuss over Di, you could spend time talking to your family."

"I'll see them when Diana gives birth." Bruce shrugs. "Something's wrong with the teleporter."

"What is it?"

..."It's getting some weird signal. Like a teleporter that's in the same place is trying to connect to it."

"Huh?"

"Exactl-"

The machine crackled and suddenly a full squad of incredibly familiar superheroes beamed into it. Wonder-Woman, Supergirl, John Stewart, Batgirl, a Robin, a woman who likes like a much older Zatanna, a ruffled Alfred Pennyworth... and Batman and Superman.

"What?" Bruce and Batman asked together.

"Bruce broke it!" Clark declared, throwing his hands up and walking away. "Dianaaaaa, Bruce broke the teleporter and now we're all cloned!"

Bruce pinched his nose, before studying the new arrivals, who were quietly whispering among themselves, and staring between Batman and Bruce, then Superman and Clark.

"Not clones." He determined. "Differences more than superficial."

"Perhaps an alternate reality?" Batman suggested, approaching him and staring him intently in the eye, while the rest of his group stayed back.

It took some explaining to both groups, before the two Bruce Waynes paired themselves off in an attempt to send the new group home through the teleporter.

"It'll take at least a few hours to complete. Until then, we don't know how safe it will be for our groups to interact, so don't-"

Dick bounced over to his double, talking over Bruce. "Hi me, I'm you. Nice to meet you." His hand came forth for a shake. 

Robin cocked an eyebrow, before taking Dick's hand and shaking it. "Weird. Like looking in a goofy mirror."

Dick scoffed. "And I think you've been hanging around Jason too much, Mr Broody."

"Who?"

"You don't have a Jason?"

"Weird. Cassandra?"

"Not ringing any bells."

"Jesus Christ. Sophie 'best-little-sister-ever' Forrester?"

"How many kids did your old man adopt?"

Dick grinned. "You remember back at the circus? With the clown car where Bozo would cram everyone in? It's basically like that."

Robin looked around at the children talking to Wonder Woman, the ones without doubles from his world. "I'm surprised he can stand that many kids."

"Oh no, he hates us." Dick assured him. "I adopted a Red Lantern for a pet!"

________________

John Stewart stared at the cat sitting on the bench in front of him. "You're the Green Lantern on the team?" He asked.

"Meow."

"Then where am I?"

"Meew"

"Lantern War?"

"Yoooooow."

"And you're a former Red Lantern!" 

"Rrrrrrr."

"You. You caught Bleez? For real?"

"Mrrrrrrrm."

"This world is insane."

________________________

"Do you miss it?" Supergirl asked Kara. "Our home?"

"Every day." Kara sighed. "But I'm glad that I've found my way here. I've made new friends and new family here. The Kents are wonderful people."

"They are." Supergirl agreed. "Even if they can be a bit fuddy duddy..."

"They can?" Kara quizzed. "...To me they're retired hippies."

"For real? Freaky. Heh. Imagine hippies back home on Argo."

Kara blinked... "Excuse me, where?"

"Argo. Our home. You just talked about how you miss it every day."

"I was born on Krypton. The city of Kandor."

"You're full on Kryptonian? Weird."

"I've never even heard of Argo." Kara mused. "Maybe... if it's habitable to Kryptonians, then maybe if I can find it, humans could safely live there some day. I wanna be an astronaut for Dick's company when I'm done with school."

"Dick is Robin, right? I... never talked to him much."

"He changed it to Nightwing," Kara pointed to the pair of dark haired boys. "And he's my boyfriend."

Supergirl choked on her spit, eyes widening. "Huh? For real? And you haven't... split him in half?"

"Believe me, I was worried."

______________

Barb made a gagging noise, scrunching her face up at her clone.

"Uch, think I just threw up in my mouth."

Batgirl's mouth was an uncomfortable line in the opening of her mask. "Not. My. Finest hour, no."

"With Bruce?" Barb retched again. "Gross! Uch! No! Dude, he's like ten years older than you are! And what about Dick? Were you and he....?"

"We were, but... grew apart. He was so angry all the time. And then he left Gotham... and Bruce didn't. And Bruce was..."

Barb stuck her fingers in her ears, "LALALALALA!" She drowned herself out, "I'm gonna go punch your Batman in the face for this."

And she did.

__________________

Little Zatanna stared at Big Zatanna...

"Soooooo... how come you're like, ten years older than me, when everyone else is basically the same." The younger one asked.

"Probably magic nonsense." Big Zatanna replied.

"The classic fallback." The younger smirked. "Always better then saying you've got no clue."

The pair high fived.

"So, a whole bunch of stuff seems different." The younger of the two figured, "Any chance the magi are alive and well where you come from?"

"Mmmmmmagi?"

"What we are? What mom was?"

"I'm just a full blooded human as far as I know. Didn't figure out magic powers deal until I was.... pppppbbbbbbbt eighteen? I trained with Batman over there under an escape artist. I had a thing for him, but h-"

"EEEEEEEEEEW!" The younger of the two shook her head, "Don't want to know. I'm dating his freaking son, don't make it weird."

"You're making it weird!" The older countered, mocking her alternate self's disgust.

________

Alfred straightened Alfred's tie.

"Thank you Mr Pennyworth."

"No problem, Mr Pennyworth."

"It seems everyone's swapping war stories from their respective lives."

Bruce's butler let his eyes drift upwards, examining the hairline of Batmans' butler. "I don't suppose you could tell me what led to- forgive me- the rather shocking state of your hairline. I'd hardly care to go bald."

The bald butler shook his head, "But of course. Stress, mostly. Master Bruce is a lot more tightly wound and prone to near fatal injuries than yours is."

"You might be surprised." The fullheaded Alfred quipped back. "I'm afraid we might just have better health care." He cleared his throat. "As it were, would you care to meet our- my?- your?- daughter?"

"Daughter? Truly?" 

Bruce's butler nodded, before calling Cassandra over from the wall, introducing her, then Jason when he came trailing behind like a lost puppy. "Alfred Pennyworth, Cassandra Pennyworth and her hanger-on; Jason Todd."

Jason took that in his stride, knowing better than to try and match barbed tongue with Alfred, while both children shook hands with the balding Alfred, who was trying not to tear up."
______________

"So." Diana was relaxing back in her chair, "They've relegated me to the Watchtower duties, while J'onn's away. Or at least Bruce says that's the reason." She rubbed her stomach, "I suspect... other intent behind it."

Wonder Woman paused, before her mouth fell open. "No!" She gasped. "You're-" Her eyes flit around the room, "Is it- It's not.... Steve's is it?"

"I do not know a Steve." Diana replied. "The father is on the Watchtower."

Wonder Woman's eyes flit over to the teleporter. "You're quite the fortunate woman then. Mine won't bite, no matter how hard I try to draw him in." Her eyes fell on Diana's belly, losing their hard warriors edge as warm, gentle curiousity replaced it...

"You can rub my belly." Diana whispered, giving herself a wink. "For luck."

__________

Batman was sporting two burgeoning bruises on his jaw, one from this world's Barbara Gordon. The other from a much younger Zatanna.

"Now, Zatanna, I could see, they never knew each other." Bruce figured, reaching for a wrench as he fiddled with the machine. "But for Barbara? You deserved that one."

"And this is why I don't mix my romantic life with work any more." Batman replied, examining the machine's code, feeling a loose tooth wiggle in his mouth.

Bruce looked up, "Seriously. You're lucky I don't break your jaw on that one. She's what? Eighteen? Nineteen? And your sons' ex."

"And I deeply, deeply regret doing it, and the rift it caused between me and Robin."

"Between you and Dick." Bruce corrected. "Use his damn name."

"Mm." Batman grunted.

"Mm." Bruce agreed. "And I never thought I'd be in the position to say this to a person. But stop being such a emo bitch and date Diana. She knows what's good."

"Mm."

"Also Selena and Ellen."

"Selena and who?"

__________

"Aaaaand that's how I ended up dating a Kryptonian woman who's nearly triple my age."

"Fascinating."

"So." Clark puffed his cheeks out. "No offense, but you seem kinda... generic."

"How so?"

"I dunno... you just kinda are there. You exist, but there's not a whole lot to define you."

"I'm a staunch believer of truth and justice!" Superman declared.

"Sure, sure... but like, are you funny or smart or something?"

.... "I'm a staunch believer of truth, justice AND the American Wa-"

"I'm gonna go talk to Supergirl over there." Clark decided, shuffling off. 

With two Bruce Wayne's and one Dick Grayson on the job the teleporter reversed it's charge, ('or some science bullshit, I don't know' Dick would add).

Robin split off from his conversation with Jason, as the extra-dimensional visitors filtered back to the teleporter, Diana giving Wonder Woman a quick squeeze on the arm and a wink before they parted ways.

"Are any of us gonna remember this when we get home?" Robin asked.

"Unlikely." Bruce figured. "Neither will we, most likely."

"Why's that?" The bald Alfred asked.

"Shhhhhh-sh-sh-sh." Zatanna shushed him.

And with a rev of the machine and a bright flash, they were gone, Zatanna and Barb latching onto Dick's arms possessively for a few moments and glaring at Bruce.

Then the teleporter wiped their memories through the power of non-canon science fuckery, and everyone returned to their day, though with a subconscious feeling that they should all cherish each other for exactly who they were.