Rin Bonus Story: You're Real (nonbinary Rin)

Are you there?

"Of course I'm-" I turn to Rin, then stop when I see their mouth isn't open, their gaze isn't on me.

Oh.

I look around for the source of the question, peering into the darkness of the desert at night. A better question might be what couldn't have called out to me. Beyond the edges of our campsite nestled in a grove of cacti, there are almost endless shifting shapes. Ghostlike figures drift under patches of starlight, some larger than a human and others so small they dance between the needles of the plants. Some make sounds, others send feelings out on the air, and all of them disappear if I look at them directly, reappearing only in the safety of the corners of my vision.

"Yeah, you're not kidding," Rin snorts.

"I'm not kidding about what?"

"About Night Season out here. You said-" they stop just as abruptly as I had a second ago. "You didn't say anything, did you?"

I shake my head. "I know these fae are harmless, but..." I rub the back of my neck, uncomfortable.

"Three days of this is too much," they finish for me, frustration evident in their silver eyes. "I feel like I can't tell what's real anymore. These things just get better and better at imitating your voice."

"They like to talk," I hum, looking up at the stars to steady myself but finding they're tinted a hazy orange - another illusion, though its purpose I'm unsure of. I give up, turning back to Rin.

"That's one real thing, at least," I mutter.

"What?" they ask. "Was that you, or the fae again?"

"Me," I smile slightly. "I was talking to myself. I was thinking that you're real, at least. The illusions don't seem to be strong enough to imitate a whole person."

Rin blinks, as though just realizing the truth of what I've said. "Yeah," they nod. "That's... good. It's better to have company out here."

"Yeah, I'm glad the Den's not crazy enough to send agents out alone," I say, suppressing a shudder at the thought and scooting closer to them. Maybe 'harmless' isn't the right word to describe these fae. They can't hurt us as long as we don't listen when they beckon us beyond the point of safety. But that's not always the easiest thing to resist...

A second later Rin jumps to their feet, hands on the hilt of their sheathed daggers - before with a sigh, they relax again.

"What did you see?" I ask as they sit back down.

"Nothing worth talking about," they mutter. But despite their dismissal, they link their arm in mine. It's a small touch, but out here amidst the shadow and lies of Night Season it's like solid ground beneath me.

It's real. They're real. I lay my head on their shoulder, and their hand shifts to grasp mine. Real. Solid. Steady. I can feel the certainty grow, looping between us until my breathing comes slower, and the voices beyond our camp that call out to me dim.

When it's my turn to sleep Rin makes no move to pull away. They keep watch with my head in their lap, their thumb tracing idle circles where it rests on my shoulder.

"Hey," their voice stirs me some hours later. "Your turn."

I drag myself up, yawning. I rest my head at the crook of their neck for a second, too groggy to realize how forward I'm being. But they don't seem to mind. Their hand finds the base of my neck and stays there. When I finally pull back they keep it there for a moment, a gentle pressure that asks me not to go too far.

The voices have grown louder, I realize as I stare silently at Rin. I can hear all kinds of noises and people, whispers on whispers, trying to lure us beyond the safety of our wards. I wonder for a second if I'll fall prey to it once Rin's touch leaves my skin.

I wonder if they're worried about the same thing. That would explain why they kiss me.