FML RUMBLE 2 TOP 3 FINALISTS VOTE NOW

VOTE NOW for the DIY Rumble 2 Starring Becky top 3 finalists. DEADLINE IS SEPTEMBER 20TH 2024

“Stinking Robbers: The Motherload” by nguyennhatnguyen8255 via YouTube

EXT. DRIVEWAY

A car pulls up into the drive way. Becky is being driven home from a date. Becky is a little drunk.

GUY: Well, here we are....

BECKY: Oh my god, this is MY house!

GUY: I mean, this is where I picked you up from. I haven't um...been inside yet.

BECKY: Oh my, was THAT a sexual reference I hear? (giggles)

GUY: No, I mean it COULD be...Are you thinking coffee?

BECKY: No, I don't have any protection... I used them all on my toys. Can't be TOO safe. (giggles)

GUY: Oh boy. Well, I had a nice time tonight.

BECKY: Dude, I'm SO glad the “Beer Hole” let us bring in some food... I was gonna be SO drunk otherwise.

GUY: For sure, sorry the only place near by was Burrito Barn.

BECKY: *burps Yeah, shit. You said its name, now it wants out...

Becky grabs her stomach and farts in the seat.

GUY: Well, I should let you go then....

he leans in for a kiss, but she farts even louder and he pulls away.

BECKY: Sorry, I wanted to kiss you...

She makes kissy faces at him.

GUY: Maybe next time.

She farts again and throws up a little in her mouth. She wipes her mouth on her sleeve.

BECKY: Okay, I should go... um, if it helps... I would have done it on the first date.

She farts again. Guy sees a couple of other people coming out of her house.

GUY: Looks like your roommates are calling you inside, better go.

She gets out of the car, farting the whole time.

BECKY: Wait... I don't has roommate?...

He pulls out of her driveway and speeds off.

BECKY Oh boy...

Becky runs up to her front door.

CUT TO:

INT. FRONT DOOR

Two women have broken into her house. One is peeking out the front window.

KRIS: Ah oh, I think that's HER!

Aly drops the things in her arms and runs to the door to peek out.

ALY: That's her alright.... I think she might be drunk as a...

Suddenly the door pushes opens with a very drunk Becky coming through. The girls are both knocked to the floor.

BECKY: Bathroom, I need the bathroom!

Becky ignores the women and runs into the kitchen. She seems lost.

BECKY: Oh my god, where did I leave my toilet?

Kris and Aly hide along the wall.

KRIS: (whispers) I thought the bathroom was that way?

ALY: (whispers) It IS! (shrugs)

They peek around the corner and see Becky pulling her pants down.

BECKY: Gotta go, gotta gotta go right now!

ALY: (whispers to Kris) She's gonna make in the kitchen.

KRIS: (whispers) Not my problem.

Becky braces herself between he refrigerator and the counter and starts to squat with her pants around her ankles.

Aly peeks around just in time to see her make directly into her pants.

ALY: OH MY GOD!

BECKY: Hello, is someone there? Do you know where my toilet is?

Becky crawls toward them dragging her poopy pants along the way. Aly steps out from around the corner to help her.

KRIS: What are you doing??

ALY: Someone has to help her! (to Becky) Come with me if you want to poop.

Becky takes her hand and she pulls her off the floor, Kris feels bad and jumps n to help.

BECKY: Oh thank you. (to Kris) Are you my guardian angel?

KRIS: Yeah, just call me Charmin.

ALY: And I'm Angel Soft. Lets get you to the bathroom.

As they all walk down the hallway toward the bathroom, Becky stops. Almost causing a pileup of women.

BECKY: Wait, wait, I can't make it. Its coming back up or out.

KRIS: Which way is it coming? Up or down?

BECKY: I'm not sure...

KRIS: (to Aly) In the bottom cupboard there are bags, go grab two. I'll cover the front, you get the rear end!

ALY: pfft The HELL I am!

KRIS: We ain't got time to argue!!

BECKY: (burps) Oh god, I can taste the Burrito....

KRIS: Its coming up on my end! Hurry!!

Aly books it to the kitchen, leaving Kris to hold her up. She finds the bags and runs back, handing Kris hers.

KRIS: (to Aly) Okay, you hold her up while I hold this bag in front of her.

ALY: Okay.

BECKY: Oops, I was wrong.

Becky bends over and shits all over Aly.

ALY: (screams)

KRIS: (laughs)

BECKY: Oh nope. There it is.

Becky leans forward and pukes on Kris.

ALY: (laughs) How do you like it?

KRIS: Oh yeah?

Kris tickles Becky making bend over and shart back on Aly.

ALY: You b!!

KRIS: Serves you right.

ALY: You know what... You're right.

BECKY: I don't feel so well...

ALY: (cont) I knew I should have gotten the fish tacos. With the HOT SAUCE!

BECKY: Please stop talking about food...

KRIS: Don't you dare.

ALY: I can just SMELL that fishy fish stench.

BECKY: Nope...not gonna vomit...

KRIS: Come on, hurry lets get her to the bathroom!!

ALY: Sure, just as soon as I...

Aly starts spinning Becky around.

BECKY: Oh god... Oh god....

KRIS: You son of a....

Becky pukes back on Kris.

ALY: (laughs)

Kris brags Becky's head and forces her to bend over, causing her to s all over Aly again.

BECKY: I think I'm done...I'm done... I just wanna lay down now...

Becky collapses as Kris and Aly stand covered in bodily fluids starring at each other.

KRIS: (laughs) Ya know what... I suddenly don't care about the engagement ring anymore...Let him keep it.

ALY: Oh? Is that a fact? Well, you're not the one covered in S!!!

KRIS: F your life.

ALY: No! F yours!

BECKY: F everyone's life.

“Poop on a Stoop” by Brian via email

INT. BEDROOM

Becky is sleeping in the nude on her bed as her alarm sounds off. She sleeps though it. After a brief snooze, the alarm sounds off again, only this time Becky turns on the snooze. Finally it sounds off a third time and Becky wakes up.

BECKY: I'm up! I'm up!

BECKY NARRATION: Today, is the first day at my new job! After a playing political chess with my boss, I now find myself in her position.

She looks at the clock.

BECKY: Oh S! I overslept!

CUT TO:

INT. KITCHEN

Becky runs into the kitchen dressed for work, she rips open the refrigerator door scouting for some quick breakfast.

BECKY NARRATION: I didn't have time for a poop or a shower, but I'll be damned if I'm gonna miss breakfast. So, I quickly scraped some leftovers together and made a breakfast Burrito consisting of Leftover chicken, beans, and broccoli for greens.

She rushes out the door chewing on this monstrosity.

CUT TO:

EXT. PARKING LOT

Becky sits in her car eating lunch.

BECKY NARRATION: So far, so good. No one seems to notice I haven't showered today, and since pinching it off this morning, I STILL haven't been able to go, so I decided to tickle my bowels with a MEGA Chicken and Shrimp Burrito with added beef and jalapenos from the Burrito Barn for lunch.

She has one bite left, when it hits her. Her tummy is really complaining.

BECKY NARRATION: Ugh, okay that did the trick... but what now? I have twenty minutes of my lunch break left, and I'm approximately the same distance away from home or work.

She throws the last bite out the window and pulls away quickly.

BECKY NARRATION: Well, I chose home cause I REALLY didn't want to start my first day off as BOSS, destroying the employee toilets. So, I rushed home in the hopes I can exorcise this demon privately.

CUT TO:

EXT. HOME/DRIVEWAY

She pulls into the drive way and stops hard. Her door swings open and she walks as fast as she can while clinching her cheeks.

BECKY NARRATION: I'm gonna make it! I'm gonna make it!

She reaches the door only to realize her keys are still in the car. She looks back at the car which seems like a million miles away.

BECKY NARRATION: Oh my god!! I'm not gonna make it. I'm NOT gonna make it!!

She attempts to go back, but only ends up on her knees as she completely fills her underwear, falling out of her skirt as it drips all down her legs.

BECKY NARRATION: There was nothing I could do to stop it, so I pulled off my skirt and just let it happen to me... I mean, there's no one here to see me right?

Suddenly the package man walks up to her with packages in hand.

UPS GUY: I have a package for a Miss... Oh my god, is THAT Burrito Barn??!

Becky looks up at him with shame.

BECKY: I'm sorry what I'm about to you...

UPS GUY: What?

She lowers her face in agony as her butt rises and fires.

BECK NARRATION: Good thing he's already wearing brown.... FML

“Primal Needs” by Carmen via email

INT. FRONT DOOR

Becky walks in to her house.

BECKY NARRATION: Today, I was so excited to FINALLY get my bathroom fixed after the last debacle.

INSERT: FLASH BACK

We cut to the scene from “Stink 2 Stink” where Becky is Yelling at her plumber for installing a second toilet facing her existing toilet.

BACK TO:

Becky doesn't hear any construction work.

BECKY: Hello? Miss Dolittle?

Scooby Dolittle, the plumber peeks her head outside the bathroom.

KRIS: Hey, Miss....Miss... Um...

BECKY: (sigh) Smith!

KRIS: No, that's not it...

BECKY: Yes it is. I should know my own name.

KRIS: Okay, if you say so.

BECKY: I know so! (sigh) Look, how is it going in there? Can I see it yet?

Kris looks behind her and back to Becky.

KRIS: I wouldn't. I don't think I'm gonna be able to finish this job today ma'am. Its almost quittin' time.

BECKY: What? You can't leave me without a toilet to use! I kinda have to use it now.

KRIS: Well, what about your down stairs bathroom?

BECKY: Oh, you finished that one?

KRIS: Oh...No, I guess I haven't.

BECKY: God! I need a toilet to use!

KRIS: No PROBLEM! Scooby Dolittle is on the case!

CUT TO:

INT. FRONT DOOR

Becky comes inside and finds Kris on her way out.

BECKY: Boy, I do NOT recommend using the Burrito Barn toilet.

KRIS: Alrighty, Miss, um... Miss.... uhhh??

BECKY: SMITH!!

KRIS: Yes! I will see you tomorrow at 430PM.

BECKY: Wait!! Did you find a solution for my toilet needs? I kinda had a Burrito at the Barn if ya know what I mean...

KRIS: Yes, my partner in crime, Bobby is finishing it as we speak.

They both turn to see Bobby walking out the bathroom.

KRIS: See, there she is now. Hey, Bobby did you fix the stinker?

Bobby gives her a thumbs up and a smile.

BECKY: Can I please see it?

Kris nervously looks to Bobby, who nods yes.

KRIS: Why yes we can!

CUT TO:

INT. BATHROOM

Becky is starring at a potted plant sitting in the middle of the bathroom.

BECKY: What the hell is this?

KRIS: Modern problems require ancient solutions.

BECKY: You want me to pee in this bush??

KRIS: Just until we can finish your bathrooms. Think of it this way, you'll never have to pee alone again!

BECKY: But I LIKE peeing ALONE!

KRIS: Well, close your eyes. You'll never know she's there.

BECKY: SHE??

KRIS: Her name is Brenda.

Bobby shakes her head yes with a smile as they both leave Becky behind in the bathroom starring at this plant.

BECKY: (sigh) How am I supposed to do this??

Her stomach rumbles.

BECKY NARRATION: Suddenly, The Barn came knockin' and I had like two minutes at best to figure this out.

Becky pulls her pants off and tries sitting, hovering, and even leaning on the bush. She gets pricked by a branch and jumps off.

BECKY NARRATION: This is going to be a long night.... FML