The Best At Everything (One Shot Crack Fic)

I died.

Simple as that.

One minute I'm fapping to a big booty milf from a trashy Manhwa then the next I'm floating in a dark void.

"Welp. Can't do nothing about that anymore... I didn't even get to finish..."
I trailed off to look at my surroundings.

I turned around.

Nothing here.

Nothing there.

Wait...oh, nothing there as well.

Man, I thought death would be an escape from my boring stupid life.

But instead of Isekai or at least hell (no way I'm going to heaven) I was in a stupid void.

Worst.Death.Ever.

"I wish there was a superpowerful god who will grant me a wish and let me Isekai into any world I want."

"Ta-da! Super powerful god at your service. Ready to help you move on to your next life; anywhere you want and grant you any wish you ask!"

I blinked and a small and cute blue eastern dragon popped up before me.

"Cute?! Cuuute?!! I am a superp pow..."

"Hey where'd you come from. Are you some kind of pervert voyeur who likes to watch innocent souls in the void?"

The small dragon snorted.
"Innocent. Pfft...get outta here. As to your question? I don't know, I was created only 4 seconds ago. A quadrillion years in human time."

I'd been in the void that long? Cool.

I chose to move on from the implication that I had created him the instant I wished for a god to appear.

"So about the reincarnation thing..."
The small dragon said, pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Let me think about it first."

(A million billion trillion quadrillion years later)

I snapped my fingers.

"I got it!"

"Finally! You took so long, I thought I was going to reach puberty!"

Ahhh

Moving past that.

"Okay. I want to go to Marvel and the power I wish is for is...I want to be The BEST AT EVERYTHING!"

My voice reverberated out into the void.

The small dragon looked at me as if I was crazy.

"Whaa?"

"You heard me. I want to be...The BEST AT EVERYTHING!"

"Stop that! You screaming it out loud doesn't mean I'll hear it better! And fine...if that's what you really want..."
He trailed off.

"Of course it is."
I frowned.

It had taken a looooong time to think about that wish.

"So about my background, I want to..."

"Bye."

I blinked and found myself falling from the sky, clouds surrounding me from all sides.

Did he just...boot me out of the void and teleport me to a great height?

My situation caught up with me when I started descending, buck naked, with my pecker slapping my thighs.

"Fuuuuuuuuuccccckkkk"

What to do what to what to what to do

I passed by a gliding falcon and made eye contact with it.

The bird gave me the stink eye and I got the impression it was mocking me for flailing my arms in a panic.

Well fuck you too!

The ground finally became visible once I broke through the clouds.

Tall skyscrapers jutting through the new York skyline, ready for me to splatter against one.

Then I remembered I had an ability. One might wonder why I asked for such a normal sounding power. One might even draw parallels to Taskmaster's own ability.

However, my ability had no conceivable limit. To be the best at Everything means exactly that.

There was a lot of everythings in the world.

Including birds. Including that stupid Falcon that had mocked an innocent man in danger.

Well I say unto you bird, suck a dick! Your boi can...FLY!

I started flapping my hands like the Falcon's wings and focused on being the best at flying.

300 meters away from the ground, wind started gathering under my hands.

250 meters, my legs started improving my aerial coordination.

200 meters, I could glide without flapping my hands (thank god, that shit must have looked embarrassing as fuck)

150 meters, away from the cold and hard concrete of the New York streets, I could move in the air like a fish in water.

100 meters, people started looking up and pointing at me. What I didn't know was that the sun was shining through the space between my legs, highlighting my dick for all to see and record.

50 meters away from the ground, I clenched my buttocks waved at the shocked New Yorkers and shoot through the sky, flying under my own power.

Flying faster than anyone, easier than anyone.

I was the BEST.



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This is NOT MEANT to be serious. It's just a commission from one of you guys. Enjoy.