Art From the Bahamas

I promised a story about modeling. I'm always asking myself why modeling? I often describe it as the one job where being an emotional person is a good thing. People actually want me to express myself, whereas I'd spent 20 years (before I found mdoeling), trying to be as emotionless as possible to be considered a reasonable and good student. Fitting in was something I never excelled at, until I found this community. I've thought about modeling as a hobby, but it is hard for me not to give all my attention to this. And to be around my friends or the community I love in this, it is easier to have modeling as my career. Creating for others is fun and interesting. Getting to know people is interesting. Constantly competing to be my best self is motivating. It is all so weird that I love it, but I think that what it is to model is so misunderstood.  I'm not a person that likes the way I look, but it doesn't really matter with modeling. It's like I'm finally able to say how I feel or what I mean. Maybe I would dance if I had any sense of balance or rhythm. So rarely do I have to be or think I'm pretty to model. While that can really get into my head sometimes after seeing a lot of photos of myself, I often do shoots that remind me there is something more important than the way I look, but the way I express a self. I think behind the camera, I'm waiting for soemone to feel or act the way I feel, but with modeling I can feel and do it. I can learn and micro tweak my body language to better communicating. I'm not always modeling what I might want to express in the moment, but the many genres put me in a new perspective and let me  find a lot of different sides to myself to try on. I find that I am a multidimensional person. I am more than a genre, look, vibe, aesthetic. I can imagine most people are, but we're often pressured into a bubble. It is easier, and hard to find the time to me many things. With modeling I can be 3 to 4 people in a day depending on the amount of shoots I have. I love the modeling more than anything else I've done. Becaue of that, I take better care of my body so my joints don't hurt, my body doesn't get stuck in position, and I have more range in general. I fell into nude art modeling and underwater so much because of the focus on the body and expression in it. Who or why I am isn't important. I'm relatable simply for having a body and feeling, and there isn't anything to make me seem otherwise unrelatable.  I've since spread out of any one genre. I find it so fulfilling to be multiple genres! There is something about finding a self in looks that are so unlike me and realizing parts of myself after being given the opportunity to try them on. Identity and self actualization is such a first world problem, but a quest I feel like I was put on from a young age. Modeling as given me a lot to ponder and find inspiration from. One day I want to create more thought out self portraits, but I've been impressed what in the moment will bring. Like these ones. I didn't get very many photos of myself in the Bahamas, but a friend helped me take these shots with my camera. I cropped and edited them. I took so many photos of and around the ocean, and I feel like each is so different. Maybe because I don't live around the ocean, but it feels like I could never finish taking photos of the ocean or water. I do need to figure it out better for underwater. It could be the spot I was shooting that took away a lot of the clarity. Unfortunately you never realize how cloudy the water is until you're taking photos in it. I might be able to edit it better. When I have time to watch video and tutorials on it, I will know. The underwater season is wrapping up.