May Day

Self portraits with collaborations

Dress by Dawnamatrix

Make up by Hlee Moua

Headdress Victoria Rose Demarco

Did this set, and I've been so self conscious about the edits, so I did a few. Some are more classic, and the others I had a lot more fun with trying something new. I had a rough vision for this shoot, but my ideas changed when it came to editing. I think instead of ethereal it turned more syfy.  I've been trying to develop my ideas and concepts more. In that I've been trying to have more conctrete ideas and follow through. When it comes to my own art I'm still experimenting with what do I like and what can I do. Often I think my modeling, photography, and editing skills betray me, and lead me down another path, but I sometimes wonder if I'm betraying myself by not accepting what my skills draw me too. That might make very little sense. In my own conclusion it is a bit of both, or it can be both.  I think with art there is always getting better, exploring, etc, and I think the photos I have made are a reflection of where I was in the moment. Collaborations are a mix of my efforts and ideas as well as those that are working with me. It's the result of blending multiple minds. 

I use to think as the model I had a lot of control in a shoot. I knew the lighting and tones, and I could manipulate the angles and feelings. No one can force me into a pose, feeling, or look that I don't want to do. While to some degree that is true, I've learned in my self portrait journey the full power of teamwork. So much can change and be re-interpreted through the lens and editing. I still don't have the same level of forethought in photography as I do with modeling. I have an easier time predicting how a pose will turn out than an angle or the settings on the camera. I find editing both frustrating and enjoyable though. I can get it wrong over and over, then redo it still. I can have mutliple versions, and completely change a photo I feel like I otherwise ruined from the pose or photo taking. Of course there are limits, but it is meditative to try and see what I can make happen.