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NealJohnstone
NealJohnstone

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Small Town Goddesses - 12 - Zalana the Shade

Holy shit! Nemesis chapters are hard because the banter has to tell the story of Michael's goddesses as Nemesis's story runs parallel. 

I always knew that once I had episodes 1 through 13 written, rewrites would have to come to fix all of the continuity errors. I think I realized how big a project that's gonna be with this chapter. 

I wrote and rewrote this chapter at least nine times in the last six months. The sex was the hardest part. Changing my mind considerably on who Evan would get his hands on. I feel like I decided to be pretty conservative, but I think it's less of a turn off to read this way.

I'm aiming for November 30th, but will accept December 31st, for Minerva the Warrior/Wise/Whatever. I hope you enjoy this one.

Read the previous chapters here:

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/0B3_KtJ5IKlKiZkNWVmVkMXQ5Xzg?resourcekey=0-n6z3Abr2KJYCgHb3lLxQlw&usp=sharing

I'm still looking at Tuesday for Kitty's Cookies. Wednesday I'll probably give this chapter a thrice over. 

Happy Halloween! Thank you for the patience and support!

Small Town Goddesses - 12 - Zalana the Shade

Comments

Hm, in retrospect this comment looks awfully harsh. So ehm yes, just keep in mind that its much easier to formulate critique rather then praise. And iam still reading STG even though i complain about it ;-)

I have just finished this chapter and i feel like i have to hand out some tough love to you, dear Neal, ´cause i love you and your work. The issue i have with STG is that it is very, very long, but not much happens in these very long chapters. I dont know whether thats due to the month-long pauses between writing new chapters or simply the issue of you always bringing too many freaking charakters into a story, that stand uselessly around. Why, oh why, do you insist on pumping more and ever more godesses into this story? The only one i can remember is Janet from Chapter 1 and possibly Evan, because he is douchenozzle, that should have received a punch to the face a lot of chapters ago. The rest of the cast is completly exchangable and equally forgettable. Yes, there are always slight variations in tit-size or hair-colour, but this is not a movie where you at least remember a face. Humans are very good in remembering faces, but not in differentiating between dozens of names. Especially since you also are not restrained to a handfull of colours, but are introducing shades of colours (pun intended). This creates the very big problem, that iam really struggeling through the "goddesses-chat" because its just a bunch of characters i absolutly cannot recognize. (Try to differentiate which kind of sassy comment comes from one of 10+ sassy characters!) Similarly its also critical, that lets say Venus could dramatically die in the finale and i would have no real clue who she is, what her story is or why i should care about her death.


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