359 Patreon Bonus - Matt's Bike Ride To Staines
Added 2019-08-24 14:09:11 +0000 UTCWant something the freeloaders don't have? Here's 9 minutes I snipped where Matt talked about a Bike Ride to Staines, and all the absolutely horrible things he saw. There's a bit where I saw "My first experience with Staines..." then fade out in a way that frustrated me, listening back. So, I'll tell you here!
I knew a bloke from Staines who was so thirsty for attention, good or bad, that he connected a cable from a carton of milk to his trouser fly. Then, whenever he passed a poster featuring a prominent child - preferably a sad-looking Amnesty / NSPCC kinda child - he would start to mime wanking. And when someone became angry and tried to stop him, he would squirt pints of milk onto them.
That is my Staines story, and I wish I had told it on the podcast.
Oh no wait I've got another! If you go to Staines town hall and look around the cast iron railings on the roof, you'll find that one of ornate spikes is missing. That's cos I got bored at a gig, climbed out of a window onto the roof and nicked it. This is the same year of my life where someone looked at me and said "you're actually a cunt, aren't you?" and I realised that I couldn't actually argue with him. Anyway GTG love you bye
