Episode 67 - The Worst Book We've Ever Read
Added 2020-01-24 20:43:35 +0000 UTC452 pages, 2 blood whips, and one StagLord later, we have finished SHADOW MOON by George Lucas and Chris Claremont. Much like Thorn/Willow, we are now very tired. Unlike our protagonist, we've been lying on the floor for three hours now (being tired) but it has not yet granted us permission to enter.
There's a ton to talk about in this last episode, but we'll get ahead of your questions: yes we discuss Burglekutt the beet farmer. We'll also encounter every animal in existence inside a volcano, which is the sort of thing that sounds awesome if it wasn't in a book by George Lucas or Chris Claremont. Animals the plump sacred princess gets compared to in this section: A monkey, a ferret, and a raccoon. None of those are meant as compliments.
Thank you so much for taking this journey with us! We'll be back with a mailbag (still time to send us your final thoughts) and a new title, and you'll be the first to hear about it right here!
Comments
I finally had to become a patron so I could say I'm another one who read the whole book. I got it from the library, so I plowed through it in a couple weeks when they announced it. I seemed to have an easier time with it than Mike and Conor did, probably because I've read a lot of fantasy, and you kind of learn to gloss over descriptions of undescribable things. But it's a very tough read. None of the action or physical surroundings are described well, so I rarely had a good picture of what was going on. You *can* have magical psychic battles and huge unnatural storms and such things without being incomprehensible, as better authors have shown. Here there were lots of "Wait, what's going on?" moments. It's too bad, because there's kind of a kernel of an interesting idea in it. I still think Claremont was already working on a sort of Mad Max/fantasy mashup, with a wizard wandering a magically-nuked wasteland and going on a quest to restore the world, and then Lucas paid him to shoehorn Willow into it. That concept intrigued me enough at the beginning to consider reading the rest of the series, but I think I'll pass. The bottom line is it's just too unpleasant. I think I'll re-read the Thomas Covenant books again instead; that series about an anti-hero leper looks like sunshine compared to this.
Aaron Baugher
2020-02-01 15:10:53 +0000 UTCI would like to defend Conor, as he pronounced "Luray Caverns" as "LOOray". My great grandmother lived in Luray and there was only one way to say it. Most people say "luhrAY", and a part of me dies. God bless her outhouse and lack of running water, Luray has some interesting memories.
Emily Brown
2020-01-30 05:13:22 +0000 UTCI finished this one also, and I crave some kind of recognition for it, dammit! I guess I'll look for that twitter poll Connor mentioned.
Rick Reynolds
2020-01-28 20:17:50 +0000 UTCThat face when you order brushetta and gannochee and your date never calls again.
M Williams
2020-01-27 16:46:33 +0000 UTCPoor Conor and his Adagio for Pronunciation! If it makes you feel any better, Conor, I've had multiple times in my life where I only knew words from text and never learned how to pronounce them until doing it wrong (a memorable restaurant encounter with gnocchi leaps to the forefront.)
Matt Nelson
2020-01-27 13:56:06 +0000 UTCI found summaries http://ossuslibrary.tripod.com/Bk_Fantasy/ShadowMoon.htm
M Williams
2020-01-26 16:39:05 +0000 UTCSo did Elora ever figure out that Thorn was Willow and The Deceiver wasn't? I know we're done with this garbage, but I need closure.
Urstoff
2020-01-26 16:29:04 +0000 UTCso, It’s been decided that no one is going to comment on the tread above and risk owning these books?
M Williams
2020-01-26 15:35:54 +0000 UTCAs much as I enjoyed finishing this book, to where I couldn't drag myself to go back for DSOTWs, this is a really fine episode. Weird that that Dark Web guy says "noolwin" just like Mike, tho'.
Moviegique
2020-01-26 07:20:25 +0000 UTCWow. You pulled that coffee commercial back from the deepest corners of my memory. Jean-LUC!!!!
Amy Flowers
2020-01-25 17:26:31 +0000 UTCWhen I put this book down for the final time (in the trash) , I heard birds chirping and I felt the bright warm sun on my face. This book had failed to extinguish all joy and goodness from the world - a faint smile crept over my face, the first I'd experienced in months
Tom
2020-01-25 14:34:16 +0000 UTCMoooooon Peeeeeeople!
Kerry S.
2020-01-25 06:02:57 +0000 UTCI read the whole book. Shadow Moon fought as hard as it could, but it did not defeat me.
Theodore Lehman
2020-01-25 02:50:50 +0000 UTCI'm hoping for Moon People next - short, horrible, dumb, easy.
Anonymous Person
2020-01-25 01:17:15 +0000 UTCYay!!
Kelly Long
2020-01-25 01:04:17 +0000 UTCDrake = dragon, although fantasy settings sometimes use terms like drake to indicate a younger dragon (DND does, but there's little consistency). So presumably a fire drake is just a fire-breathing dragon (aka a run-of-the-mill dragon). Apparently "firedrake" is also just an antiquated single-word term for the European style dragon.
Kormias
2020-01-24 23:15:09 +0000 UTCI feel amazing after finishing this book. It may be my greatest accomplishment.
Wondercake
2020-01-24 23:02:24 +0000 UTCThis is a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad book, but it is not the worst book I have ever read because I have read The Old Man and the Sea.
Heather Crocetto
2020-01-24 21:55:16 +0000 UTCIf any of you see me out there in the real world, with a scraggly beard, a faraway look in my eyes, going by the name Stab Barnswobbler, sucking on pebbles, talking to my collar, muttering how I "seen some shit", take pity on me friends, for I read Shadow Moon.
RotoLando
2020-01-24 21:20:31 +0000 UTCDammit, it was 67 but I would be lying if I said that two episodes from now wasn't on my mind when I titled it...
372 Pages We'll Never Get Back
2020-01-24 21:11:26 +0000 UTCIt's fine for me.
Seth Davison
2020-01-24 21:05:23 +0000 UTCCompletely off topic, but does anyone else using Android have trouble downloading the episodes through the app? I always have to open the posts in a browser window on my phone to get them.
Matt Nelson
2020-01-24 20:56:44 +0000 UTCNice.
Taylor Conner
2020-01-24 20:54:01 +0000 UTC
