372 Pages We ll Never Get Back

280 Mysteries Ep 40 - Case of the Ring in the Reef - With Lauren Lastowka

As promised, Lauren joins Conor as the two of them attempt to solve Donald J. Sobel's 2003 (!!!!) mystery.

280 Mysteries Ep 39 - The Case of the Window Dressers - with Bridget Nelson

Conor and Mike's spouses have put up with their nonsense for such a long time, they thought it well past due to have them both on to help solve an Encyclopedia Brown and to see if in fact they, you know, do anything.

So, Mike will be aided by Bridget Nelson in his quest to beat the Boy Detective! (Lauren's episode is coming soon.)

Night of the Crabs meme contest winners

Many, many great memes for this go round. We were glad that even though this was posted before Episode 3 released, that so many of the entries focused on the 8 year old who drank weedkiller. Congrats to our two winners, Hayden and Scott J! Please send us an email or Patreon message and we will get you a prize.

Check out the whole gallery here

372 Pages #191 - Night of the Crabs Ep 3 - Limpet Mines, Potholers, Mills Bombs and Constitutionals!

Yes, all the things we in America know so well and love so much come together (much like dodgems) in one final episode!

This episode has it all: horrible, ghoulish holiday-makers, Farm Supply delivery men, cunning King Crabs, colonels who are probably earlier colonels but never mind, and of course train drivers just weeks away from retirement who scream themselves awake nearly every night during a nightmare about their bridge crossings.

Includes some Listener Mail and of course Du...

Night of the Crabs meme contest!

Time to post your best Guy N. Smith memes! Host an image and then post a link to it in the comments. Come back and vote for your favorites by Liking them. We'll send prizes to a judge's favorite and to the one that gets the most votes.

280 Mysteries We'll Never Get Back Ep 38 - The Case of the Angry Girl - With (PROFESSOR) Jackson Crawford

Continuing our string of "Mike needs help to best this Leroy Brown kid", we are joined by Jackson Crawford, author, lecturer, professor, online celebrity, etc., and let's just say it was not a bad choice at all.

Check out Jackson's youtube channel and his new book The Poetic Edda (where your favorite podcast hosts get a shout out!)

Bats definitely have rabies

I attended a lecture about bats tonight at my local public library.

Sorry, SORRY! I should have advised those of you with heart conditions and the elderly to please be seated before I dropped such thrilling, shocking news.

Anyway, the bat enthusiast giving the lecture confirmed that yes, bats DO have rabies, and that if you encounter a sick bat you should absolutely go and get a preventative rabies vaccine and that everyone who works with bats gets this as well. He presented the f...

372 Pages #190 - Night of the Crabs Ep 2 - If You're Gonna Do That Anywhere, Do it in the Spiky Grass!

If you're even vaguely considering listening to this particular episode, please consider this: a severely hung-over Colonel Goode eats Mrs. Jones' porridge! Also, please know that Bartholomew suffered dearly; that his last moments on earth were filled with pain and horror beyond anything experienced by any single human throughout all of history.

Also, check out Mike on Real or Fanfic!

READING ASSIGNMENT: Finish the book!

372 Pages - Bonus - AUDIO You Are a Shark

Enjoy the audio-only version of our Live Stream where we go through a Choose Your Own Adventure book, You Are a Shark. Are we a shark, though? Please tune in to find out.

Choose Your Own Adventure Livestream #2 - "You Are A Shark"

Thanks to everyone who joined and voted on the choices here! Just to confirm that it DOES in actually happen at some point...

Choose Your Own Adventure Live Stream #2!

Join us for another livestream of a CLASSIC 80s Choose Your Own Adventure book on Thursday, 7/17 at 3pm Eastern

We will post a link to the youtube livestream here on the Patreon at 3pm. If you watch it on youtube, you'll be able to vote in polls every time we get to one of the choices in the book. The stream will be archived to watch later for anyone who can't make it.

372 Pages #189 - Night of the Crabs Ep 1 - Grandpa NO!

Rejoice with Conor and Mike as they read through a new book that was not written by Colleen Hoover!! This one features a pipe-smoking botanist, bathing costumes, Torgo-esque beachcombers, nosy-parkers, guys in pumps, wide-faced handsome men with mahogany faces and, of course, Pat Benson.

Assignment: Read thru Chapter 9

Get the book here: https://amzn.to/4n7oia9

Feeling Crabby?

Yeah, we could have gone with "You've Got Crabs" as the headline there, but this is a classy podcast (do not list evidence to the contrary in the comments!)

Our next book will be Night of the Crabs by national British pipe champion Guy N. Smith. This summer is the 50th anniversary of Jaws and this seems like the non-union book equivalent of that movie, a summer beach read that will have people moving their towels a respecta...

372 Pages Bonus..? Your Thoughts on Our Next Book.

Mike and Conor need your thoughts on the title of our next read, so listen and weigh in!

Book links:

The Cosmic Courtship: https://amzn.to/4k1TcOv

One Extraordinary Time: https://amzn.to/44bpPDu

Nelson's Story (Success after Adventure & Thrills) : https://amzn.to/3Ts9vsW

Ugly Love Meme Winners

So

many

GREAT MEMES

this

time

OK, we'll stop. Possibly our most enetered meme contest of all time? Definitely the one with the most dead baby jokes. Congrats to Hayden and TokenBehaviorist for their winning entires! Please email us at 372page@gmail.com and we'll be in touch about a prize.

Check out the entire gallery 2025-06-11 13:23:13 +0000 UTC View Post

280 Mysteries We'll Never Get Back Ep 37 - The Case of the Carousel Horse - With Who is Ken Jennings!

Yes, the smartest man we've ever met - and we've met dozens of men - joins us in an attempt to outwit Idaville's greatest boy detective.

Pre-order Ken's new book, The Complete Kennections, out on 7/29!

2025-06-09 23:54:30 +0000 UTC View Post

Ugly Love Acrostic Puzzle!

Loyal jackal Amanda has made us another Acrostic puzzle to solve, based on Ugly Love! You can watch us try to solve this one, or download the puzzle and do it on your own. Though we did make some missteps in our attempt, we did fix them and complete it with pen and paper. Thanks, Amanda!

Download the Puzzle and the Answer key<...

Ugly Love meme contest!

Alright, it's a good thing we waited until the end of this book to run this contest! Post links to your best CoHo memes in the comments (imgur.com is a good site to host them!)

Then come back and vote for your favorites by liking them. After a week we'll pick a judge's favorite and an audience favorite and reward them with prizes that you'll definitely want to display on your bookcase!

372 Pages #188 - Ugly Love Ep 5 - This is Brad's World Now

All good things must come to an end. Also, Ugly Love must come to an end, and it does, in our final episode. Does Miles end up with Ian? Does Dillion end up with Rachel? What kind of pain is Miles keeping contained? Is it exactly what you thought it was the very moment you "met" Miles? You'll have to listen to find out. (Because you're obviously not reading along, are you? ARE YOU?)

Link to 2025-05-29 19:38:13 +0000 UTC View Post

Ugly Love - Mail Bag - Bonus Quilter's Cruise Report!

So many great emails from listeners, so little time (well, there's time but we choose to use it talking about, say, Jonathan Lipnickni rather than emails), so we're covering them in this special Mail Bag Edition.

Lot's of details from pilots, police, drivers, etc., that will shed a lot of light on the works of Colleen Hoover, The Devlins, Charles Kim, et. al.

(A link to the visuals referenced in this ep: http...

372 Pages #187 - Ugly Love Ep 4 - No, Cap Does NOT Sport a Thong

If you've stuck with us this far you must be a fan of the words "kiss" and "heart." And of the phrase "cut my eyes" and "gripped the doorframe." In this episode, Conor and Mike speculate like mad about the fate of Rachel, Clayton, Dillon, Lisa, Paige Donahue, and of course, Gary.

Does Mike continue his insane, career-topping totals at Real or Fanfic? You'll have to listen.

READING ASSIGNMENT: Finish the book!

Ugly Love merch 2025-05-13 17:51:52 +0000 UTC View Post

372 Pages BONUS: Conor Does Real or Fake... TV Shows

How hard is it to come up with a fake TV show name? Not that hard, evidently. Please watch as Conor learns that fact the hard way!!

Seriously, if anyone makes that Slimer/Minnie image, let us know...

I hate you...

You'll never believe it, but something in Ugly Love reminded Mike of a story about his Dad

372 Pages #186 - Ugly Love Ep 3 - Dillon = HERO

To be clear, Dillon is terrible. BUT he's the least like a cardboard cutout of all these dumba**es (which is not high praise, but there it is.)

If you are craving plot, please look elsewhere. All we know is that Mike's middle name is nearly revealed, but Conor's love for all things Marx Brothers is shouted from the rooftops. Real or Fanfic is conquered, Dumb Sentences are reviewed, and after all is said and done, Miles gets no more interesting.

READING ASSIGNMENT...

Choose Your Own Adventure - Audio Only

If for some reason you don't want to view the video of us, and who can blame you, here is the audio only file. Please listen with the knowledge that it was a video.

Choose Your Own Adventure - Hyperspace

We read the Choose Your Own Adventure book "Hyperspace" and let loyal jackals vote on all the choices. If you missed it, you can still watch the video right here

Tolstoy or Colleen Hoover?

Probably not as difficult as Real or Fanfic...

Choose Your Own Adventure live stream!

Please join us on Friday at 10AM eastern for a live stream of a Choose Your Own Adventure book! We will read it and then let the audience vote on which paths to choose.

We will stream on youtube, and post the link on Patreon a few minutes before we start. We will post a recording afterwards if you can't make it. Thanks to Janelle for passing along the idea and to whoever came up with it in the first place!

How would Seinfeld characters fare in a Colleen Hoover novel?

You know my friend Bob Sacamano, he once dated a girl who tasted like onions!