Done Adulting Vol. 1 Ch. 109

Jamie slowly came back around to consciousness but didn’t open his eyes, staying slumped against whomever was holding him and wishing he hadn’t woken up. Sometimes sleep just feels too good to let go.

“Do you think he’ll like this?”

“He likes the bunny one.”

“Still ...”

“Tell him it’s from me,” Mel said. “That’ll make him love it.” She was the one who had him.

“He should be awake soon.”

“I don’t know how littles sleep like this, but I sure wish I could.”

“Just different animals I guess. I’m gonna get it for him. Too cute not to,” Amanda said.

“He can wear it under his snowsuit, too.” She felt Jamie stir. “Uh-oh,” she whispered, “I think we woke someone up.” The game was up; Jamie brought his arms up around Mel’s shoulders, nuzzling into her neck.

“Hello,” he said softly.

“Ooo, is my Jamie Bear awake? Is he awake? Does that mean we get to play some more?” He responded by rubbing his head on her chest, trying to get the sleep out of his eyes. “I think someone is still a sleepy bear. And a stinky one, too.”

That got his attention and Amanda’s too. His eyes shot open, and he tried to focus on how he felt down there, but he didn’t feel anything abnormal.

“Hold still,” Amanda said to Mel. She stepped in front of Mel and lifted the back of Jamie’s shirt so she could peek down his pants.

“Did I ...” he asked, concerned. It didn’t seem possible. Sure, he’d been having a lot more movements and they were a lot looser, but this would be a sudden and dramatic change for him.

“You ... I can’t tell.”

“What the matter,” Mel asked.

“Nothing ... Nothing. Tell you what? Why don’t you take our stuff to the counter, and I’ll get Jamie taken care of?”

“I can do it,” Mel offered.

“No, really. I insist,” she said as she took Jamie from Mel and steered the stroller toward the restroom.

“Manda ...”

“Don’t start getting upset until we see what’s going on in there. Do you feel okay?” In fact, he felt great until now. He sniffled in response, and she shushed him. “It’s okay. These things happen.”

She got him into the restroom and onto the changing table. “Here,” she said, finding his pacifier in the stroller and offering it to him. He took it without using his hands. She tugged his pants to his ankles and took them off around his shoes. When she lifted his feet, his bottom didn’t look dirty. She set him back down and opened his diaper. “It’s ... Do you ...”

“What,” he asked, upset and impatient.

“It looks like you had a nasty fart, that’s all.” Amanda tried to make it sound like no big deal. She didn’t think it was, or at least she thought she didn’t think it was, but then again, it wasn’t her body.

“But ... I don’t ...”

“Shhh, honey, let’s get you cleaned up first.” It only took a couple wipes, and soon Jamie was in a clean diaper. She redressed him and set him on the counter next to the sink. He was staring into space.

“Jamie, it’s just the breast milk. We knew it would make things a little slimy. Everybody farts in their sleep.”

“What If I do it again?” Amanda gently turned his chin so he was looking her in the eyes.

“Do you want out of diapers?”

“No.” They talked about this just yesterday.

“Then ...” she shrugged. “And I really think it’s just the breast milk. I told you before, it’s a mild laxative.”

“But I’ve never done that in my sleep before.” He sounded distressed.

“Well, your lunch was little food. You nursed this morning. You slept awfully hard. Maybe that’s why.” He put his chin on his chest.

“Don’t be like that,” she said, kneeling down in front of him. “It’s not a big deal.” She decided to lie. “I did it once or twice as a bedwetter, too.”

“Really,” he sniffed.

“Yeah. It doesn’t mean anything. Besides,” she said trying to lighten the mood, “no one can tell through your cute diapees!” She lightly tickled his tummy. “Dat’s what diapees are for. For wittle bears like Jamie!”

“Stop,” he chuckled, trying to move her hands away.

“Why should I stop? I like teasing my baby brother bear.”

“I’m not a baby,” he protested with a giggle.

“You’re not? Are you a big boy then? How big is Jamie?” She held her hands apart about a foot. “So big?”

“Bigger,” he told her confidently.

She moved them apart again. “So big?”

“Bigger,” he said was though the answer was obvious. She moved her hands apart as wide as she could make them.

“So big?”

“Yep, that big,” he smiled.

“Soooo big! Yay!” She clapped her hands. “Let’s wash our hands and go show Melissa.”

“Took you a bit,” Mel said when they came out of the restroom.

“We were figuring something out,” Amanda said.

“What?”

Amanda looked at Jamie and he nodded. “How big Jamie is.”

In unison they put their arms up high and wide, singing, “Sooo big!”

Mel laughed and bent down to Jamie’s level. “How big?”

“Sooo big,” he said, doing it on his own this time and smiling up at Mel, who was smiling back at him.

She scooped him into a hug and twisted her hips back and forth while kissing Jamie on the cheek. “Then he’s the perfect size!”

“You ready to go find Mom?”

“Yeah.”

“I got to put you down, though, buddy,” Mel told him. “My arms are tired.”

“Nooo,” he whined. “Please?” He knew how whiny he sounded, and he surprised himself in not caring if it was. He was feeling clingy and didn’t care to hide it, a privilege of being a little.

“I brought the backpack,” Amanda said. Truth was she needed a break from holding him, too, but she didn’t want to make him sit in the stroller if he didn’t want to.

“That’s a bit much for shopping,” Mel said.

“The harness comes out, remember?” They returned to the car, and Amanda wrestled with the pack in the trunk until she figured out how to detach the thing. “’Easy conversion’ my ass ...” she muttered. “Who do you want to carry you?”

She knew the answer and wasn’t offended. She liked that Mel was making him feel so little. She was sure if Mel wasn’t there, they’d still be in the bathroom and she’d be trying to get him to stop crying over a little nap time oops. She was mostly sure it was just because of the breast milk and the little food. Mostly. But either way, she knew, Jamie was in diapers for the foreseeable future, maybe forever, so what did it matter? And if his affection for Mel also had him being littler than normal too, that was just a bonus for her.

“Mel.”

“Front or back?”

“Front.”

“That question was for Mel, actually.”

“Front, like the little guy said.” With Amanda’s help, Mel got the harness snapped on and adjusted, and she lifted Jamie in. “Comfy?”

“Mhmm.”

“You sure,” Amanda asked. “You can’t see where you’re going.”

“Mhmm.” He put his head back down on Mel. He hadn’t wanted to be awake anyway.

He was asleep by the time they found Becky, who did a double take. “Really?”

“And he’s out like a light again.”

“He did say the bed wasn’t comfortable. Maybe he just didn’t get enough sleep. And we stayed up late,” Becky said. “Does he like that,” she asked, nodding to the harness.

“I think he does today,” Amanda said. She didn’t think he’d want to make a habit of it.

“This can’t all be because of me, can it,” Mel asked.

“Ninety, ninety-five percent of it, yeah, I think so,” Amanda said.

“Awww,” Mel cooed.

“Makes you feel like the best person ever when a little wants you, doesn’t it?”