Uboa - Fawn (Demo)

Here's a demo track of a song (an *actual* song!) that suddenly came to me when 'practicing'  my live set. Basically, its mostly synth (a Korg Minilogue) and vocals, with some subtle sampling and noise added. It's very sparse, but I don't really know how to fill the space in the song (or if they even *should* be filled). It's all built on a melody I sequenced into the arpeggiator of the synth while trying to make some patches for my life show and it took on a life of its own. It sounds a bit like the stuff on The Flesh of The World mostly because of the minilogue 'string' patch its based around (and the singing style).

It's about the 'fawn' response (fight-flight-freeze-fawn), especially people with PTSD who try and please others to keep themselves feeling safe. Often these people will be bulldozed, abused or left lonely precisely by the behaviour they adopted to protect themselves and prevent loneliness. This is less a song about me (I usually just 'freeze') , but indirectly about people I know.

It's a demo as I might make a less detuned, wonky, lofi... more 'complete' version later. It does have a very 'Have a Nice Life' vibe to it. It wasn't intentional, but I am indeed a Flenser artist so the coincidence makes sense. I do worry making the production too good might take some character away from the song.

Hope you all like this one? I should get back to actually trying to practice now.

Lyrics:

(Verse 1)

She deletes 'no'

From her speech

Got  people to please 

And tries to be useful

Even though she’s so tired 

She sings

So others love her

She screams

So others hear her 

She thinks of death

As a friend, always there

Eternity

Only a train away

 (Chorus)

She fawns

she folds

(Verse 2)

Truth be told

She’s had about enough

She’s wanting blood

She has no missed calls

Everybody sucks

The air out of her lungs

She daydreams

That the world will end

One day it will

She doesn’t just want love

She wants everything

Eternity

(Chorus 2)

She fawns

She folds

She fights back

She attacks 

She screams

“I am eternity”