Welcome to the Classroom of Espers (Classroom of the Elite x The Disastrous Life of Saiki K.)

Chapter 4: Pudding Restaurant

Two weeks had passed since I enrolled in Advanced Nurturing High School—commonly referred to as ANHS.

Classes had properly begun, and the rhythm of school life was gradually starting to take shape.

Class B had its share of phone use, idle chatter, and even napping during lessons, but thanks to Ichinose’s intervention, the phones and chatter had disappeared.

Ichinose’s charisma was frightening in its own way, though even she couldn’t do anything about classmates who lost the battle against sleep.

That was left to the people seated nearby—if someone noticed a neighbor dozing off, they would give them a nudge. Everyone was helping each other out.

(Math’s a breeze—but at this rate, it’ll probably get harder by next week.)

(The midterms will probably focus a lot on calculations.)

(Everyone’s staying awake. Good, good.)

(I’m sleepy too, but I’ll endure it.)

(Honami-chan’s cute as always…)

The reduction in chatter during lessons had led to an increase in silent, internal monologues instead.

Of course, not everyone was spacing out; since the class was full of earnest types, most of the thoughts were about the subject matter or the upcoming exams—a relatively harmless category.

One student seemed to be sneaking glances away from the board, watching Ichinose while keeping the blackboard in their peripheral vision. That much was harmless enough.

But wait… that student was a girl?

(Ahh~ Honami-chan really is cute. I wonder if she has someone she likes… She’s usually composed, but when you compliment her, she gets all flustered and goes “nyahaha.” Seriously, she’s adorable…)

Shiranami, I think her name was.

She appeared to be an ardent fan of Ichinose.

It felt like her feelings went beyond mere admiration.

“Saiki, how about trying the cafeteria today?”

Kanzaki, who continued to speak to me as casually as ever, often shared lunch with me.

He wasn’t malicious, and there was no contradiction between his words and actions.

He never pried too deeply into my business, and I did the same with him, so I felt we had a good, balanced relationship.

The only problem was that, perhaps because he was close with Ichinose, he sometimes passed on things from our conversations to her.

Thanks to that, I once found myself being asked, “Is it true you noticed next month’s points might be reduced, Saiki-kun?”

I managed to deflect by saying I had simply echoed Kanzaki’s doubts, and she let it drop.

It wasn’t something I could completely guard against, but I figured it was best to avoid giving answers that touched too closely on the truth.

“This is my first time here, but it’s more crowded than I expected.”

The cafeteria—a strong ally for students who didn’t cook for themselves.

It offered set meals and daily specials, chosen via touchscreen. You simply selected what you wanted, tapped your student ID card, and received a meal ticket.

Hand that to one of the cafeteria staff, and whether it was a set or a special, your food would be ready within five minutes.

“Saiki, you usually bring a bento, don’t you…? But today’s different?”

Since I still went back home sometimes, I usually brought the lunch my mother had prepared when I returned to the dorm and got changed for school.

But today, with my father off work, it felt wrong to make her prepare a lunch just for me.

So I had planned to grab something quick at a convenience store instead.

I hadn’t really planned on coming to the cafeteria, but since the opportunity presented itself, I went along with Kanzaki. And just as he said—it was packed.

“Not just our year, but the senpai come here too. Getting a meal ticket or even finding a seat looks like it’ll be a struggle.”

Should we head to a convenience store instead?

It’s a bit of a walk, but we’d make it back before lunch break ends.

Though there’s no guarantee anything good would still be left.

“…”

Hm? What’s wrong?

I glanced at Kanzaki, who seemed frozen in place, and he spoke up with a surprised look.

“No, it’s just… I didn’t expect you to joke around, Saiki.”

(Even if we went to the convenience store now, we wouldn't make it in time before the lunch break ends.)

I was being serious, though.

I’d simply forgotten that Kanzaki moves a bit slower than me. And while I could rush over and back quickly, he wouldn’t be able to.

Something to keep in mind.

“The most expensive thing here is the Special Set Meal… but look, there’s also something dirt cheap—actually, free.”

(Mountain vegetable set, huh? Rice, miso soup, and greens grown from the school garden. Not very filling, but nutritionally balanced.)

Free meals didn’t surprise me anymore. Still, if rice prices went up in the future, I wondered if even this set would start costing a hundred points.

That “Special Set Meal,” though… now that has my attention. There were both Japanese and Western versions. The lineup looked like something from a kids’ meal, but the dessert caught my eye.

“I’ll go with the daily special. What about you, Saiki…?”

(Special Set Meal?)

Yeah. We shouldn’t keep the people behind us waiting. Let’s move.

“…Right.”

At the counter—or what you could call a counter—I handed my ticket to the cafeteria lady. She gave a cheerful, booming reply:

“Special Set, right? Got it!”

“And for you—the daily special! It’ll be right out, so hang tight!”

Just as she said, the staff moved with practiced coordination and speed.

On my tray, they set down chicken rice, hamburger steak, karaage, fried shrimp, French fries, salad—and a pudding for dessert.

So this was the Special Set Meal. Pricey, yes, but given the volume, it was reasonable.

On Kanzaki’s tray, the daily special included simmered fish, two side dishes, miso soup, and rice.

“Alright, let’s find somewhere to sit—”

“Ah! Kanzaki-kun, Saiki-kun!”

Just as Kanzaki was about to say something, Ichinose spotted us and called out.

Around her were the girls she usually hung out with, and there were two empty seats at their table.

(Ichinose, Amikura, Ando, and Shiranami, huh? Seats are open…)

I felt Kanzaki’s gaze flick toward me, gauging my reaction. But rather than wander around hunting for seats, this was the better option.

If Kanzaki was fine with it, I had no reason to refuse.

Reading my reaction, Kanzaki stepped forward and headed toward Ichinose and the others.

“Mind if we sit here, Ichinose?”

“Of course! Perfect timing, there just happen to be two spots open.”

With her permission, we took our seats at their table.

“Kind of unusual, seeing you two in the cafeteria.”

(I’ve seen Kanzaki-kun eating sandwiches or convenience store lunches before, but Saiki-kun, you usually bring a bento, right?)

Ichinose usually ate her lunch in the cafeteria, but she often brought a homemade bento as well. Depending on the day, she would eat in the classroom or here, so it wasn’t strange that she knew our lunch habits.

“Yeah. I figured I should try it at least once.”

(There’s always a chance I’ll have to rely on this place in the future, after all.)

Still, it would’ve been nice if he’d told me in advance.

Since we live in the same dorm, I happened to overhear his “telepathy”—(Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to try the cafeteria once in a while. Saiki usually brings a bento, but if I invite him, he’ll probably come.)—so it worked out.

What’s that? Didn’t I say earlier that I felt guilty making my mom cook for me today? Well, I didn’t tell Kanzaki that, so it’s fine.

“Wow, Saiki-kun, you eat more than I thought. That’s the Special Set Meal, isn’t it?”

Yeah. I was curious what was so “special” about it. And sure enough, it really was special.

I usually prefer the ordinary, but this wasn’t bad either.

“Speaking of which, swimming class is coming up soon. Kanzaki-kun, Saiki-kun—are you two good at sports?”

That question came from Amikura-san, who I hadn’t really spoken to directly until now, as we began eating.

The girls of Class B—led by Ichinose—were cheerful and outgoing. Part of it was that we shared classes, making topics easier to bring up, but it also seemed like they were deliberately searching for ways to get to know us better.

“I’m about average. Nothing I’d call a strong point.”

(I was near the top back in middle school, but here? No way of knowing, so best to play it safe.)

Kanzaki’s answer was reasonable. Being placed in Class B didn’t necessarily mean everyone’s athletic ability was above average.

For example, Shiranami-san—sitting right across from us—wasn’t particularly athletic.

“What about you, Saiki-kun? Did you play sports back in middle school?”

(Honestly, he doesn't seem like the type, but you never know. Appearances can be deceiving.)

A kind thought—but you’re spot on.

As for swimming… if it were running on water, or flying over the ocean like Superman, I’d rank pretty high. But actual swimming wore me out. I could dog paddle my way to a gold medal, but with freestyle or breaststroke, one wrong move with my strength and I’d end up shoving the person in the next lane aside. Disqualification for sure.

Better to say I’m just average. Or maybe even a little slow. Freestyle, breaststroke, butterfly—I wasn’t good at controlling them. Backstroke, though, I might manage. Since the arm motion is downward from above, there’s less chance of interfering with other lanes.

“Backstroke, huh? Still, doesn’t it feel a little early for swimming classes? Even if it is an indoor pool.”

(Not exactly an easy topic to keep going with. Sorry, Saiki-kun—let’s change the subject.)

Don’t worry about me.

Forget about my answers—what’s important is that you all enjoy the conversation.

And as for the timing of swimming classes—our PE teacher already spoiled the reason. It’s meant as preparation for summer break.

We might not necessarily be swimming every time, but depending on the content of the special exams, it could end up being essential.

It seemed the contents of the “special exams” changed from year to year, and only a handful of teachers were privy to them.

Or perhaps they weren’t even finalized yet. According to Chabashira-sensei, though, the details would be decided after midterms.

I powered through the fried-food overload with the chicken rice, and at last—it was pudding time.

Judging by the way it was served, this wasn’t a store-bought pack but something ordered specially for the set meal.

I picked up the spoon and scooped a bite.

(Pudding? Oh, right. Saiki-kun said he liked sweets.)

Pudding was sweet, yes, but it was sweetness completed only by the pairing with caramel sauce.

The custard’s rich sweetness, the caramel’s refined bitterness—the two together made a perfect hybrid food.

The star was the pudding itself, but the caramel drew out that sweetness while cutting the lingering aftertaste.

(He looks unusually serious about this.)

This pudding, however, was a bit too sweet for me. Even with the caramel, the sugariness was overwhelming.

Still, there was something enjoyable about it. A flavor that could easily become addictive for some. Opinions would definitely split depending on one’s sweet tooth.

(I didn’t know Saiki-kun could make that kind of face.)

Hm? Why are you all staring at me? You haven’t even finished your meals yet.

“Ah, sorry about that.”

(So Saiki really does like sweets.)

“Ehehe~ sorry—we’ll finish our food too, then.”

(He usually looks so expressionless, but even Saiki-kun softens up when he eats something he likes.)

Was my expression really that strange?

Maybe the pudding’s sweetness had seeped into my face as well. Another thing I’d need to be mindful of.

Honestly, there were too many things to watch out for in this school.

. . .

Saiki’s Review — Cafeteria Pudding

Sweetness: 5

Texture: 4

Portion size: 3

Appearance: 4

Satisfaction: 4

Caramel bitterness: 2

A bit too sweet, but not bad as a dessert. After a barrage of fried foods, the flavor might actually be just right.

Worth eating once every two weeks, perhaps.

. . .

Saiki-kun really does talk faster and even smiles a little when he’s eating sweets.

Next, we’ll be jumping ahead to just before the midterms.

That’s when things like the existence of past exam papers and sudden changes to test scope all get revealed.

. . . .

Bonus: If Teruhashi-san attended Advanced Nurturing High School

• Placed in Class A (interviewers gave nothing but glowing praise—o-fu).
  
  

• Not just her class, but the entire grade, even the whole school would be captivated.
  
  

Faction breakdown:

• “Go All Out” Sakayanagi faction (aggressive students like Kamuro).
  
  

• “Play It Safe” Katsuragi faction (conservative students like Totsuka).
  
  

• “We’ll Protect Teruhashi” faction (basically every boy, plus girls outside the two camps, including Hashimoto and Kito).
  
  

Even Katsuragi and Ryuen would find themselves on the verge of an o-fu.

Totsuka would as well, though his priority remained Katsuragi first.

Ayanokoji and Hirata would stay mostly unresponsive—though early on, even they might show signs of fluster.

Koenji, meanwhile, would mutter: “Hmm… maybe she could be a suitable wife candidate.”

The Teruhashi faction would even spread into other classes.

Kushida: “Hey, can’t we just expel her already?”

Ayanokoji: “Impossible. Give it up. If Teruhashi-san were expelled, half the male students would go with her.”

Kushida: “That sounds like killing two birds with one stone.”

Ayanokoji: “You’d also be wiping out nearly every boy who might actually support you. Still want to try?”

Kushida: “…Tch.”

She’d get along well with Ichinose, who had no two-facedness.

Sakayanagi, on the other hand, would hate Teruhashi—but Teruhashi would think Sakayanagi was “like a cute doll.” Since Sakayanagi had trouble walking, Teruhashi would try to carry her bags or help her up stairs.

Kamuro: “Do we even stand a chance?”

Sakayanagi: “You’re noisy as ever…”

Katsuragi would realize that entrusting things to Teruhashi would benefit not only their class, but the entire year.

He’d move to act as her advisor, effectively making Class A Teruhashi-centered.

Teruhashi: (“Since he doesn’t ‘o-fu’ at me, and he’s getting along with Ichinose… I’ll crush Saiki!”)

Saiki: Why though.

Even in this world, she’d spot Saiki in the campus shopping street and try: “Heeey, I’m going to monopolize your weekend memories~”—only for him to dodge her relentlessly.

The harder she chased him just to be recognized, the more she fell for him. Truly, a terrifying trick of the gods.

She disliked Ayanokoji—not because he resembled Saiki, but because she could sense that “he says and does only what’s optimal.”

Meanwhile, others realized that by siding with Teruhashi and protecting Saiki, they could secure a peaceful student life.

Ryuen wanted to wage class warfare, but even Albert and Yamasaki became useless in Teruhashi’s presence, so he had to give up.

Instead, he joined Ayanokoji, Katsuragi, and Hashimoto in strategizing how to make Saiki ‘o-fu’ at Teruhashi.

Saiki: Why is it so obvious to everyone that Teruhashi-san likes me? In the original, only Yumehara and Saiko figured it out.

Sakayanagi: “Anyone watching would know.”

Ayanokoji: “People like Kaidou and Nendou are just incredibly unobservant.”

Ryuen: “Kukuku, just give in and ‘o-fu’ already—it’ll be easier.”

Ichinose: “Nya-ha-ha, do your best, Saiki-kun.”

Nagumo? The instant he tried to make a move, Kokomi’s fans and “Soda-man No. 2” would bury him.

Thus began a massive, school-wide romantic mind game, dragging in the entire Advanced Nurturing High School.

Saiki: Don’t begin it.

For the record, nobody would actually get expelled.

But students like Yamauchi, the peeping tom, might be expelled depending on Saiki’s mood.

Tsukishiro: “O-fu. Ah, yeah, a unanimous-expulsion exam? Let’s not. Expulsion’s bad if it can be avoided. No one has the right to steal youth away from the young.”

Ayanokoji’s father: “O-fu. For the sake of world peace, forget the White Room. Let’s build the Teruhashi Room instead.”

Perhaps the jokes went too far.

Anyway—that’s all for now.

Teruhashi-san really is way too strong…