Welcome to the Classroom of Espers (Classroom of the Elite x The Disastrous Life of Saiki K.)

Chapter 2: Please Introduce Yourself

Advanced Nurturing High School.

A government-run institution, built on a campus exceeding 600,000 square meters, that boasts nearly a 100% rate of both college advancement and job placement.

But I learned the truth—that it was all a lie—the moment I stepped through the gates on my very first morning.

If I hadn’t stopped in front of the school building that day, would things have turned out differently? …No. That kind of “what if” is meaningless for someone like me. After all, the only way I can block out telepathy is with germanium.

This school has other peculiar traits as well.

All students are required to live in the on-campus dorms, and with few exceptions—such as a family death—contact with the outside world is strictly forbidden.

Since it’s run by the government, there are rumors online that it’s all part of a project to gather behavioral samples of modern high school students.

That may be part of it, but the real reason? I’ll find out eventually.

As for dorm life or the “no contact with the outside” rule, neither bothers me.

If the nights get too noisy, I’ll just teleport back home. I don’t have any plans to reach out to anyone anyway. And if something ever happens to my grandparents, I’d sense it like an omen.

The ban on outside contact doesn’t really mean much, considering the vast grounds hold plenty of entertainment facilities, shops, and restaurants.

Once the entrance ceremony and homeroom are over, it might not be a bad idea to explore this little “city within a city.”

Since only new students get an early dismissal on the first day, it’s the one day with the lowest risk of being spoiled by someone’s stray thoughts.

It would be good to at least get a basic grasp of what’s where.

Not that it matters much—in three days, someone will end up telling me everything via telepathy anyway.

Now then, as for my class placement—it seems I’m in Class B.

In other words, second from the top.

Maybe it’s because the entrance exam wasn’t held simultaneously for everyone, so I couldn’t gauge where the “slightly above average” line was on the written test, and I just answered whatever I could?

Or maybe it was because during the interview, I answered just slightly off from the ideal responses they seemed to expect?

Or maybe the examiner simply thought, “Aside from that weird hairpin, he’s not bad,” and gave me a favorable review? …No, more likely the examiner’s standards were just absurdly low.

After all, the applicant before me had left a terrible impression.

“Now then, how did you get here today?”

(Ugh, the last guy answered, ‘I came here full of energy!’ Who cares about your health? It’s obviously a question about your means of transportation.)

Judging by the nonsense I picked up telepathically from the guy ahead of me, I probably got a boost to my evaluation without realizing it. That’s how I ended up in Class B.

Not that I mind—it’s easier to live in Class B than it would be in C or D, and I won’t have to deal with the constant pressure of being targeted by the other classes like in Class A.

“Hey, are you… maybe in Class B too?”

(I saw him looking at the Class B roster just now, so probably, right? If I’m wrong, this is gonna be so embarrassing…)

On my way to check my class and head to the classroom, a girl who had gotten off the next bus called out to me.

When I nodded in confirmation, she clapped her hands together with a bright smile.

“I’m Honami Ichinose—ah, sorry, I mean Ichinose Honami. Nice to meet you! Um… could I ask your name?”

(Phew, I was right! I managed to meet a classmate right away. I wonder what his name is.)

She gave off a similar cheerful aura to the girl I’d shared a bus with earlier, but unlike that one, this girl didn’t seem to have much in the way of hidden malice.

I’m Saiki. Saiki Kusuo. Nice to meet you. …Shall we?

(Kusuo…? That’s the first time I’ve heard that name. I guess since students are gathered here from all over Japan, there are plenty of unusual names.)

So, after I introduced myself normally as Saiki Kusuo, Honami thought something like that. Personally, I think Honami is a pretty rare name too.

Unfortunately, though, I can’t accept her offer to walk together.

From the moment we started talking, I’ve been aware of all the gazes directed at Ichinose-san.

(That girl’s really cute.)

(Her hair is gorgeous.)

(Is she a model?)

(Who’s the guy walking next to her?)

Never mind who am I—who are you people? Either way, if I walk in alongside someone this popular, I’ll be standing out from day one.

“I see. Well, I’ll go on ahead then. See you in class, Saiki-kun.”

(Ah, so he just needs to go to the restroom first? Fair enough. Maybe he’s a bit of a neat freak if he’s that particular about washing his hands…)

This girl could really stand to learn to be a little more suspicious of people.

After politely declining Ichinose’s invitation, I made a detour to the restroom, waiting until she’d entered the classroom before heading there myself.

I could’ve washed my hands too, but if I somehow tore my gloves—my defense against psychometry—it would be a problem.

Not that they’re fragile, but still. Better safe than sorry. Besides, I haven’t been to the dorm yet, so I don’t have any spares on me.

First-Year, Class B.

Judging by the spoilers from the senpai, this is supposed to be the “above average” class.

And sure enough, most of the students here look lively and sociable. Many of them are already making moves to get to know their classmates.

Proof enough of the kind of group this is.

“Yo, I’m So Shibata. That’s a pretty unusual hairpin you’ve got there—where’d you get it?”

A bright, athletic-looking guy approached me with the boldness of Minamoto no Yoshitsune charging into battle.

Through telepathy, I’d already overheard him striking up conversations with various classmates even before I arrived.

Even with mind-control subtly discouraging questions, this hairpin still seems to draw attention.

I hate to say it, but the safest explanation is probably to claim it was a gift from my brother.

In truth, it’s not just a hairpin—it’s a control device that suppresses my psychic powers.

It was made by my older brother, a super-genius and super-masochist, despite having no psychic powers himself. Thanks to this device, I can live something resembling a normal life.

“I see, sounds like you’ve got a good family. Let’s talk again sometime, Saiki.”

(Something’s up with him. Probably best not to pry too deep.)

For now, I just introduced myself and said it was a gift from a family member. Shibata, sharp enough to sense the situation, graciously let the matter drop.

(So Saiki, Himeno, and Kanzaki are the “cool types,” huh? Shiranami seemed more on the quiet side.)

Good. Looks like I’m not the only silent character in this class.

And when it comes to dealing with classmates, I can probably just run things through Ichinose-san or Shibata-kun and be fine.

“Alright, everyone! Take your seats!”

Not long after, our homeroom teacher for Class B walked in.

She had semi-long hair, makeup neither too heavy nor too light. Once everyone sat down, she began her introduction.

“Nice to meet you. I’m Hoshinomiya Chie, your Class B homeroom teacher. I’m also the school nurse, so I won’t be teaching many of your classes. But I’ll be in the infirmary, so if anything happens, come by anytime.”

(Well, technically I spend most of my time in the staff room teasing Sae-chan, but…)

…Why does it feel like the one who seemed most reliable at first glance is actually the most dangerous of them all?

“Good job at the entrance ceremony, everyone~. I’d love to dismiss you here, but first I need to explain this school’s rules.”

With that, she handed out stacks of papers to the students in the front row of each column to be passed back.

So in this sense, it’s no different from a normal school.

I took the handout from Kanzaki, the “cool” guy in front of me, while wondering about the seating arrangement. It wasn’t alphabetical, nor by birth date.

Well, whatever. I turned my eyes to the sheet.

Dormitory life, no outside contact… Pretty much the same as the materials they gave us when we passed the entrance exam.

“Next, I’ll hand out your student ID cards. These serve as both identification and your wallet, so don’t lose them. With this card, you can use every facility on campus, and you can make purchases with points. Basically, there’s nothing in this school you can’t buy with points.”

(Of course, points can also cancel expulsions or even buy exam scores~ But unless someone asks, I’m technically not allowed to mention that~)

—You just did. Not that anyone but me could hear.

“Points will be automatically deposited at the beginning of each month, with one point worth one yen. For now, as a reward for admission, each and every one of you is being given 100,000 points.”

The class erupted in murmurs.

One point equaling one yen meant they’d essentially been handed 100,000 yen. An absurd sum for high school students.

(Well, yes, points get deposited every month… but not necessarily 100,000. The amount depends on how everyone behaves over the course of the month. They all seem to think they’ll get 100,000 every time, but… I never actually said that, did I? I wonder if anyone will catch on.)

…Thanks for letting me in on that little secret.

So the senpai were right—those surveillance cameras really are for monitoring student behavior.

They weren’t in the bathrooms, of course, but judging from their placement in the classrooms, halls, gates, and entrances, it’s safe to assume they’re everywhere outside private spaces.

“The reason you’re getting 100,000 points is because earning a spot in this school proves your value and potential. So don’t feel guilty—use them freely!”

(Well, since this is Class B, I figure we’ll still get around 70,000 points a month even if people waste some. Shouldn’t be too bad. Classes C and D, though… not so sure about them.)

Apparently, the school reclaims all points after graduation, so hoarding them is meaningless—kind of like playing The Game of Life.

Points can be transferred between students, but you can’t just hack into someone else’s terminal and steal them. Even if you could, the transaction history would give you away instantly. And considering how many places are under surveillance, you’d be caught before long anyway.

“Alright, any questions before we wrap up? If not, you can spend the remaining time however you want.”

(B Class kids usually don’t ask anything at times like this. I guess they're just waiting to see what happens.)

Well, she’s already spilled the only things worth knowing, so I don’t have any questions.

If I had to nitpick, I wouldn’t mind knowing how to disable the GPS on the communication terminal they issued us.

But the rules don’t actually say we have to carry it at all times. As long as it’s “charging,” I can leave it behind. That would buy me enough time to head home, nap in my own bed, and slip back without the school ever realizing.

(Holy crap, 100,000 points!)

(We get this every month, right? Amazing… must be because the government runs the place.)

(Feels a bit excessive for an entrance gift. Maybe it also covers furnishing the dorms and other living expenses?)

Plenty of classmates had questions in their minds, but nobody actually raised a hand.

“Alright then, that’s all. Dismissed!”

(Phew! Workday over. Time to go fishing for guys~.)

And with that cheerful thought, Hoshinomiya-sensei left the classroom with a pasted-on smile.

So that “natural makeup” look was for that reason, huh.

Once declared free, the class wasted no time springing into motion.

“Yosh! Let’s go shopping!”

“What should I buy first?”

“With this many points, I don’t even know where to start.”

Apparently, everyone had the same idea: buy something, anything.

Can’t really blame them—it’s hard not to get excited after being handed that much money. Still, it’s funny how nobody was brave enough to ask a question earlier, yet now they’re springing into action so fast.

“Hey, everyone!”

Just as some were about to rush out the door, Ichinose-san stood up and called out.

“We’re going to be spending the next three years together, so I think it’d be good to get to know each other. How about we do self-introductions right now?”

“Oh, that’s a great idea!”

“I second that!”

B Class really is sociable, huh. Not a single delinquent character stood up to sneer, “What a pain, screw that.”

(Ugh, what a drag. We don’t need self-introductions. We’ve got three years—plenty of time to get to know each other whether we want to or not.)

That grumbling thought came from a black-haired girl with twin-tails—probably Himeno, the “cool type” Shibata mentioned.

At least not everyone here is all smiles and sunshine. That’s a small relief.

And just like that, thanks to Ichinose’s suggestion, the class began its round of self-introductions.

Since just giving our names felt a little bland, we were told to add a hobby or a special skill.

—Problem is, I don’t really have a hobby. If I had to name one, I guess it’d be watching mystery shows. Works of fiction are nice—they’re immune to my telepathy, so I actually get to enjoy the unpredictable twists for once.

But only if I’m watching it live, that is.

As for a special skill? Nothing comes to mind.

Psychic powers? Please. That’s not a “skill.” That’s just my default state. It’s like asking if “walking” counts as a talent.

“Thanks, Kanzaki-kun. Looking forward to working with you. Alright, next… yeah, you in the back—mind introducing yourself to everyone?”

(Saiki-kun. I wonder how he’ll introduce himself? He seems quiet, so maybe he’ll just give his name and be done with it. Hope it goes okay.)

Don’t worry so much. Even I can manage a self-introduction.

I don’t have a hobby or skill worth bragging about, but other classmates got by just saying “I like ___.” So I’ll play along.

I like sweets.

“Oh, that’s unexpected! Looking forward to being classmates, Saiki-kun.”

(Sweets, huh? Well, sweets-loving guys are trendy. At least, that’s what I read online. I didn’t really go to school much in the second half of middle school, so I only know from TV and the internet.)

…Wait, Ichinose-san was truant? She doesn’t look the type. Must’ve been something serious.

Well, it is a world where “bullying” counts as a trend, so I can’t say I’m surprised. If she’s pulling herself together here to start over, then it makes sense why she’s volunteering to take the lead.

In the end, Class B was dismissed fourth.

Class C, which skipped self-introductions entirely, got out first. The others took their turn, but since every single person in Class B went through introductions, plus the added “Q&A time,” ours dragged on.

Finally free to head toward the dorms and the campus shops, I stood up—when Kanzaki in front of me turned around.

“Saiki, right? Want to walk around town for a bit?”

(I could go with someone else, but noisy crowds aren’t my thing. Judging from his self-introduction, Saiki doesn’t seem like the chatty type either.)

If I were a normal high schooler, I might’ve jumped at the chance.

But I’m not. And while I do envy ordinary life, I don’t feel like forcing myself into relationships.

That said, blunt refusals come back to bite you later. Especially if you “coincidentally” bump into them afterward. Sure, I could avoid him with telepathy, but better to sidestep trouble before it starts.

“Thanks. I don’t have anywhere I particularly want to go, but I’d at least like to know where everything is. How about you, Saiki? Anywhere you’d like to check out?”

I gave a small nod. Kanzaki smiled softly, apparently satisfied.

I didn’t have a specific destination in mind either, but I figured I’d scope out the supermarket selection. A café would be nice too… though considering this school’s size, a “quiet café” is probably wishful thinking.

Before anyone else could rope me in, Kanzaki and I slipped out of the classroom. Together, we started making the rounds of the campus facilities—checking the places we’d likely need for daily life, and the ones we might want to avoid.

<+>

In the end, I went with Class B.

There aren’t that many named characters there, so aside from Ichinose, Kanzaki, Himeno, Shiranami, and Shibata, he probably won’t interact much with the others. Characters like Amikura or Ando, even though they’re named girls, won’t really come up often either.

As for the other classes—well, he’ll end up getting involved with them whether he likes it or not. After all, this is Kusuo we’re talking about.