A Son Obtained

Starring Mebuki, Sakura's mom, we follow a brief story about some of her life while Sakura and Co are doing the Wave thing.

This is canon.

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“So are you just not going to leave?” Mebuki asks, staring down at the vivid blond boy as he eats a sandwich at their table. He looks happy today. “I thought you left for a mission with Sakura like, yesterday.”

“Oh, I’m gone.” Naruto explains between bites of PB and Fluff. He seems to enjoy that a lot, she always stores a little bit of extra sugary nonsense for when she realizes Sakura forgot to eat again. “I’m a clone, the original wanted me to go through all the paperwork to start that cleaning business while they’re gone, and maybe read a few books while I’m at it.”

“Ah…” Mebuki pales at that, how much chakra could the boy possibly have? She knows his secret, every ninja her age does, but they’ve been assured over and over again that he’s not the beast incarnate and the evidence in front of her doesn’t speak to the validity of that claim. The beast isn’t supposed to have any access to him, so why… Why does he have a clone that can think, and eat, and talk? “So why are you eating, I didn’t know clones had to eat?”

“Most clones aren’t around for days.” He shrugs. “I got hungry.”

“Oh…” Well, she couldn’t argue with that. The Shadow Clone Jutsu splits someone’s chakra between all the clones, so if this is his only clone, half his chakra is in Konoha right now, which means there’s probably several dozen Jonin of Naruto in Konoha right now. “Can you make clones?”

“Haven’t tried.” He shrugs mid-bite of fluffy goodness. “Should I? I wouldn’t want to accidentally pop.”

“He’s only a day away, if you pop he can send another.” She says, “if you wait to test it that might not be possible.”

“Right!” He brightens right up at the idea, and makes what appears to be a fake hand sign she’s never seen the likes of. A mere moment later there’s four more Naruto’s in her kitchen. “Yep, I can make clones.” They all assure her at the same time, resonating just beyond her ears into the perfect pitch. It’s unreal, and not like anything one would normally experience in life. Even twins are unlikely to hit the exact same pitch in the exact same order at the exact same time..

“Oh dear, well, let me help you get the registration done so that we can make sure it’s all ready.” She says.

“You think I could surprise them by getting it started and running before they’re back?” Naruto asks.

“... Yes, I think you could, and I think that’d be a wonderful idea.” Mebuki gives the boy a hug as she passes by, on her way to leave and go to the Hokage tower to make sure the boy can even run a business as a child.

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“What do you mean a genin can’t run a business?” Mebuki drawls, her eyes narrowed at the registry Chunin, “there are so many cases where that’s not true I can’t even begin. You’re being a dick because of his prisoner.” Most wouldn’t expect her to call someone out like that from looking at her, but Sakura didn’t get her assertiveness from her father. She looks a little timid, a little meek, but she doesn’t let that stop her. She stomps her foot down and glares her hardest while crossing her arms together. It’s childish but it’s effective, she watches him flinch.

“I’m, ugh.” The man sighs, rubbing his forehead. “That’s not it at all, there’s rules on how long you can be a genin before you’re considered responsible enough to supersede rank limitations. It requires a test and-”

“So I can take the test?” She asks.

“... Yes?” The man winces.

“Good, get me the test.” She taps her foot against the floor, the clack harshly ringing out from a little metal plate on the bottom of her toes meant for exactly that purpose..

“Ma’am, I can’t just-”

“Snap to it.” She growls, brooking no argument, let alone a pointless stalling.

She’ll be getting Naruto his damn business, whether he uses it to help his teammates, pay them back, or just get a lofty retirement fund for himself, it doesn’t matter to her at all.

Her daughter decided that boy was her brother, which makes him her son, and she’ll beat the shit out of a Chunin for her son if she has to. It’s not like she couldn’t, there’s a huge difference between a combat genin and an office Chunin, the ranking rules are very relaxed and she has a shoe to beat him with so she automatically wins by default by being a pissed-off mom.

In fact… He hasn’t moved yet. She reaches down for her shoe.

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“Here.” Naruto has to question why Mebuki has a black eye and a cut on her cheek and a grin on her lips, but she doesn’t seem particularly bothered by it so maybe she’s like Sakura and doesn’t care about bodily injury at all. They’ve all been through pain resistance training, so it’s not like he’d expect her to be whining and crying, but Sakura takes it a bit to the extreme and he’s now pretty sure her mother does too.

“What’s um…” He begins, only to be interrupted by her smirk. She points at the thing she slapped on the table before he can point to her eye.

“I registered your business under my name, when you advance to Chunin you can have it in yours.” She says. “You’ll have to get funding to buy an office and storage for supplies, but I can’t do everything for you.”

“Ah…” He looks at it, rolls it over, and quickly wraps the woman in a hug so warm and tight he’d worry about hurting her if he didn’t know for a fact she’s stronger than him. “Thanks, mom!”

It’s forced, Mebuki can tell, he’s not ready to take that step with her and it’d be fine if he never did. But at the very least his clone thinks he should, and that’s enough for her to be happy he’s shorter than her so he can’t see the massive flush overtaking her face. Her heart beats faster, and her body shivers a little with an electric tingle that flows up her body from her toes to her scalp. That’s just way too much. She’s a grown woman though, she can’t just show her excitement in real time that’d put pressure on him to try harder and continue. “You’re welcome.” She acknowledges it with a gentle touch, and a huge smile he can’t see.

Even when he lets her go she holds a stoic but bright smile to put him at ease and ensure he knows nothing is wrong. “I have to go tell my husband the news, please read over the forms so you know the rules imposed on both of us, before I make lunch.”

“I will!” He’s so excitable, it’s really hard to hide it.

The moment she’s out of sight though, she shows just how far Sakura fell from the tree, by throwing her hands up in the air and wiggling her hips. She drops them, throws them up, drops them, throws them up, and all the while holds in a scream so he doesn’t come to check on her.

She did it, she has obtained a son! Clone or not, she got one!

Woo! Screw you doctor and your ‘you won’t have more kids’ speech. She’s gonna write him a letter, it’s gonna go like this:

Dear Asshole,

Fuck off

Proving you wrong,

Mebuki Haruno.

She's gonna write it with glitter pen.