A Letter To My Future Daughter (Part 1)

1. You must start your self love journey as soon as possible. 

Narcissistic and abusive men love women who are not sure of themselves and are insecure.

These types of women will tolerate a man’s rubbish for the longest. Women who are extremely sure of themselves, love themselves and have a self esteem are aware there is always another man in the market who will treat with respect and treat her how she deserves to be treated in a relationship.

They know it won’t take them very long to do this either as theres problems guys in her dm’s and in a queue waiting for a chance with her. 

However women who don’t have this type of cockiness will put up narcissistic and abusive behaviours from a man for a lot longer than necessary.

They will give a man their love, bod, love, care, companionship whilst he gives her nothing. 

When you don’t know your worth, you can’t set high standards and when you don’t set standards you are selling yourself cheaply.

Low confidence and low self esteem with self love are a prime target for abusive men because they know no matter what they put you through, you’ll always be there to love them. 

Start your self love journey as early as you can. 

2. Always trust your intuition

As a woman you have been blessed with a powerful intuition, so your spirit will always tell you when a person or a situation is not right for you. 

When you meet the right man for you, there will be no anxiety, there will be no be no confusion, there will be no hesitation.

You dont ever want to be so desperate to be loved that you put yourself in bad situations even though you saw and overlooked the consistent red flags 

3. Whats a BUMMY man?

A bummy man is a man who has lots of ambition but is NOT TRYING. 

A bummy man is one who is genuinely comfortable with being broke.

A bummy man is one who thinks he’s too good to be seen working at an “embarrassing place” to support himself financially whilst he works on his big goal.

A bummy man is not a man who currently does not have much or any money.

A bummy man is not a man who is WORKING to wards a bigger goal. 

Do not entertain highly ambitious men with 0 work ethic. 

4. Don’t entertain men who are stingy with money

Do not entertain a man who is not taking you out, or hardly ever takes you out on nice dates. Especially if you can already provide those nice dates for yourself.

Your dating life should be just as fun as your single life. It would be a huge downgrade if your life becomes less fun that it was when you was single and this WILL eventually cause problems in the relationship.

Avoid men who (always) complain about money or the ones that are stingy with money.

5. Don’t hold onto toxic mean girls as friends

Don’t be friends with girls who mask their insults as “jokes”

Just because you are friends with a girl for 10 years doesn’t mean you can’t cut her off. You can.

6. Never Buy Into Society's Lies About Being Fat

Always aim to maintain a healthy weight for your age and height. Check with your doctor to know what's right for you.

People might avoid hurting your feelings by telling you "you're perfect just the way you are," even if you're unhealthy. 

Don't fall for it. Focus on your health, not on what's socially acceptable.

Don’t let society to “you’re perfect the way you are” you into type II diabetes. 

Obesity has been normalised in our society, make sure you get regular checks so the doctors can clear your health.

7. Never fight another woman over a man

In today’s sidekick culture a lot of women are proud that a man comes back to them even after he cheats on her with someone else.

Cheating is the ultimate disrespect. If a man steps out on you, is dishonest in a relationship and you allow him back, this shows you have lack of self respect and self love. 

Bragging that a man ‘still came back home to you’ is not something to ever be proud about. 

If this ever happens and you choose to stay with him, keep it a secret. 

However not being able to deny access to you to someone who has committed the ultimate disrespect in a relationship is the ultimate form of a lack of self respect. 

8. Don’t be the ‘Hold It Down’ Girl

 If a man cannot put anything in your hands or your life, don’t allow him to put anything IN you 🤔

There are way too many women loving the wrong man for free with no exchange of VALUE. 

Too many women lower the quality of their life to be in a relationships with a guy.

Don’t play into the ‘Hold him down’ culture, unless he has ALREADY proven to be of value to your life and is just going through a rough stage in life (It happens to us all)

Don’t hold anything down. If he doesn’t meet your criteria in a partner, don’t entertain it. 

As a woman, you should always want the best for yourself. YES you should want a man with money.

Don’t allow society to gaslight you into making you feel like a ‘materialistic gold digger’ because you have standard. The People who will try to shame you for that will usually be people with no money.

Normalise luxury and financial stability because struggle love is dead. 

9. Don’t be the woman giving everyone a 3rd, 4th, 5th and 16th chance if you ever get cheated on.

There is no excuse for cheating. 

A lot of woman are horrible relationships because they feel like they can never get better, which is why they can never get better. 

You have to date like you’re a Hollywood director casting for a role. If an actor comes in and cannot remember their lines….NEXT!

Keep this type of energy when dating. 

10. Snakey mean girls 

Don’t be friends with girls who OUT all of their friends secrets when they are on bad terms.

They will probably do the same to you if you ever get on bad terms.

The second they get mad, all your business will be out for the world to know.

How someone behaves on bad terms shows you a lot about who they really are. 

11. Don’t give anyone ‘The best years of your life’

Give YOURSELF the best years of your life.

This doesn’t mean you cannot entertain dating and / or relationships. A man should not be the everything of your life.

Make sure that you become someone by the time you’re 35-40

Make sure you have your own money in YOUR name. Even if a man offers to provide.

You are going to be a someone, with or without a man.

Relationships are fickle, theres women who’ve wasted 10 years in a relationship and depended on him. Relationship ends and she’s left with nothing.

What can never be taken away from you are the goals you reached by yourself, for yourself.

Give yourself the best years of your life. Be somebody.

12. Don’t entertain men who “don’t want you outside”

Don’t entertain men who will try to sabotage your girls trips or nights out. 

Don’t entertain men who constantly want to check your phone, messages, dm’s etc…

These men are highly insecure and you should never be in a relationship with someone who does not FULLY trust you (or someone you cannot trust)

Often men like this are the type to have cheated on someone or may have cheated WITH someone before, and are now projecting that experience onto you in the relationship.

13. It’s OK to outgrow some friends

As you get older, who are you are as a person should develop more and more. 

You should not be who you were at 16 when you are 25 years old. 

It will be hard to keep same level of friendship if you are growing and all your other girlfriends aren’t. 

It’s okay to outgrow some people, it’s not beef. Not everyone is supposed in your life forever, some are only supposed to come around for a season. 

14. Financially abusive men 

Yes, its nice to have men shower you with money, gifts, dinners, rent paid etc…

However I encourage you to still have your own things going on.

Some men with money have massive ego and if they are paying for everything in your life, they can start to treat you like you are his little slave.

They will feel like they can do and say anything to you because they pay for everything in your life and you have nothing without him

The 'sprinkle sprinkle' advice is nice but have your own money and your own career just incase he chooses to switch up.

Men can be super weird nowadays.

15. Don’t entertain men who are….

• Homeless

• Toxic

• Broke

• Violent

• Always down on their luck

• Disrespectful 

• Liars

Dating these types of men can ruin your whole life.

Don’t let the desperation of a relationship and being loved make you settle for a bad man.

Take the time to get to know every guy you meet you see potential in. Even Satan was an angel at first.

Be choosy and strict whilst you are dating around.

16. Never convince a man you are wife material 

If you want marriage, only date men who are actively looking for marriage. 

You cannot talk anyone into marrying you. Marriage should be on their mind when they meet you.

Never beg for a ring. 

17. If he is 18-25, he probably isn’t the one.

Most men who are between the ages of 18-25 will not be able to give you the love or leadership you are looking for. 

Most men lack the correct guidance so they usually have to spend a long time knocking their head and figuring things out. 

Accept this so you don’t get too disappointed if a guy turns out to be a waste of time and energy.

18. Don’t entertain men who are overly sexual and can never have a normal conversation with you.

It’s a sign of immaturity and no control of his sexual urges.

These guys don’t see you as a person, they just see you as a source of pleasure.

When most guys are very horny, they’re not thinking clearly so you will not getting at his authentic self.

Don’t entertain guys with a hyper-sexualised personality. 

19. Dating as a young woman

Dating should not affect you to the point where you’re not achieving your goals

Dating should not take over your individuality.

Men come and go. 

But the goals you want, do not come and go.

Most great opportunities in life are limited. 

20. Female Bums

Yes, bummy, low value and dusty women also exist.

Do not entertain men OR women who are not working towards anything in their life.

21. Avoid being friends with women who have low self esteem

Women with low self esteem put themselves in the most worse situations and they will get mad at you when you try to help them get better.

22. Sacrificing your life to please a man

Don’t give up your dreams, goals, or happiness to make a man happy. 

Your life is yours to live, not his to control. 

A relationship should be a partnership where both people support and uplift each other. If a man asks you to sacrifice your life for his convenience, he's not worth your time. 

Prioritise your own needs and aspirations first.

23. Narcissistic Men

These are men who won’t treat you good but they also won’t allow you to leave their life.

I believe this should be a mental disorder. 

They will treat you sooo bad and when you leave they will turn into the biggest crybabies. 

They will do crazy things like coming to hour house, following you around in public, etc…

They act like they cannot live without you but they are the SAME people who treat you like trash. 

Don’t let their fake tears to make you feel sorry for them and take them back because it will turn into a repeated cycle. (Read number 9)

24. The importance of self love

Self love is not meant to replace a romantic partner.

Self love is the only thing that the only way you will be able to identify and leave an abusive relationship early.

You have to love yourself more than the person you are in a relationship with. 

25. Men are not going to like you more because you sleep with them quick

For most men, this is actually a turn off.

When you give a man the most precious parts of you without him doing anything, he will appreciate it but will take it for granted. 

This will cause him to not put that much (or any) effort into you. 

26. When you are single understand...

A relationship is not a reward and being single is not a punishment. 

You’re not any less of a woman for being single for a long time. Everyone has a different season in their life.

Make the most and best out of the times whilst you’re single because there’s going to be a time when you wish you had that freedom to be in your own element again.

27. Non-romantic men

Do not allow non romantic men in your love life.

This has to be required. 

28. Your standards will create and shape the life you live

People cannot repeatedly say or do things to you unless you allow them to do it.

29. If you choose to take a guy back, the apology needs to be as loud or louder than the disrespect

He should makeup with you how he messed up with you,

The makeup needs to be just as big as his mess up. 

Don’t allow him to mess up big and apologise to you SMEDIUM.

He needs to keep the same energy as when he was out there actin a fool.

30. (For women of colour) Do not let people at work play you into the stereotype they have of you….

The stereotype for women of colour is to be loud, aggressive, ratchet and bratty.

People at the work place will test you like you’ve never been tested before. But they will do it very passively.

When you give a reaction then you’re playing into the stereotype they had of you.

They will indirectly talk down on you, bully you, belittle you to try and get a reaction. 

If you want to keep your job, don’t give them a reaction. It’s not worth it.

They are usually jealous because you’re half their age but on the same level or a higher level than them.

Keep it professional. It’s not worth losing the money and the opportunity.